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Is My Girlfiend Pregneant or Is It Natural?

hi

im not sure this is the right section but please i need relationship help. and very fast sadly.

iv had sex with my girlfriend, and i think she pregneant and this is our first time. we used a condom and made sure we were protected but her period was meant to be the other day and its really late now for it.

im not ready for a baby and please don't judge me im only 15.
please i dont know if its natural for her period to be late after sex or if she is pregneant. we dont want a test at this moment in time.

and i dont want to leave her as she is the one special person for me.

thanks if u read this and please help me

-liam-
50 Responses
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13167 tn?1327194124
This original post is two years old.  It seems unlikely the original poster is still checking back for comments.
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Avatar universal
girls don't miss their periods all the time. sure a younger (teen girl) can have irregular periods but not miss them. if a girl misses her period she's either pregnant or has something wrong with the womanly parts and needs to see her ob.
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Avatar universal
She's not pregnant, girls miss their periods all the time. Stop stressing about it. Happened to me when I was your age. I felt the same way. Cheer up kid and just remember to be safe.
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Avatar universal
hey i know this is a couple of days late its because i was round my girlfriends house


we took the test.



shes not pregneant.
thnkgod


and thankyou to everyone for your help
i hope to never have to do this again but if i did this is my first port of call.

thankyou to everyone for your help and everything now has been resolved
Helpful - 0
177641 tn?1189755837
That's terrific news! Take a load off and BREATHE now.

I hope this hasn't ruined your relationship with your girlfriend. There scares happen, no matter how old you are or where you are in life. A little bit of reading never hurts, so take the time to read up on birth control. Tell your girlfriend to think about going on the pill. Last thought: don't let this ruin sex for you (especially your girlfriend). Be responsible with your bodies, and this shouldn't happen again :)  Glad to hear it turned out okay.
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Avatar universal
it is normal if it was her first time having sex, that happened to me i was almost a month late.
remember her body experiensed something new, so dont worry!!
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Avatar universal
hi mate, they usually give the details out at school and have posters at your gp surgery .do a google search on family planning clinics and you can do a location search .even if she comes on still go and get some contraception free anyway and they will help you ! we are always here for any help you need along the way .if you cant find any search info ,try nhs direct on 08454647 . good luck mate x x x
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Avatar universal
I agree with pertykitty and mami that it is your girlfriend's choice of whether she keeps the baby and I would not recommend abortion.  It has devastating effects on women later in life and if she has big plans for her life, adoption should be her first choice then.  There are many couples out there who cannot have children, and would be more than happy to love and nurture your baby.  
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Avatar universal
"we have family planning clinics here and they will test you free and give you condoms and maybe give her the pill. You dont need an appointment and you dont have to tell your parents."

Now that's a family planning policy I can get behind.  Thanks for posting this, marra.  Good luck to you and your girlfriend, Lima.
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Avatar universal
hey marra

how do i find out where the nearest clinic thing is?
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Avatar universal
hi liam, i am uk too ! wow you got some debates going ,i dont think she is pregnant if you used contarception chances are she is late with stress of  gcse  coming up and stuff you mentioned too  . we have family planning clinics here and the will test you free and give you condoms and maybe give her the pill . you dont need an appointment and you dont have to tell your parents .good luck mate x x x
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
haha ok then il keep that in mind
but i dont want to be a teenage parent anyway


well thanks everyone for you help to this stage and i will definately post on here the results from the test and hopefully wont ask for anymore help

thanks so much for your help

and lets hope wen i next inform u on something its all clear and good
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, it's a relief to know you are in the U.K. I don't know anything about the abortion laws over there, but I would imagine you folks have better laws on the books than us Amerikans. Also, you have some social safety nets so that her baby can be taken care of, like nationalized health insurance. We here in Amerika consider national health insurance a "communist plot," so we don't provide socialized medicine.  For that, you should be thankful you're not in the U.S., Liam.

Consider yourself lucky. Being a teenage parent in Amerika is the worst possible situation you could find yourself in.
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145992 tn?1341345074
no problem Liam.  Just keep faith that everything will be ok no matter what happens.  Keep us posted.
Helpful - 0
174483 tn?1327625477
i agree she is probably not pregnant, and if she is it is her choice if she keeps the baby or not, i urge you NOT to pressure her to abort this baby if she chooses not to, thats the last thing she needs (even tho im pretty sure shes not) being a scared pregnant teen would be the boy who got her pregnant puting pressure on her to get rid of it, like i said if you both agreed to it, it would be your choice and i wont judge you because of it, i just wanted you to know how horrible it would be for her to be pressured into a a decision that is against her wishes or beliefs because someone on a help web site recommened it

i dont think its a good idea for us to be judgemental, but in the same breath i couldnt bite my tongue on this one, sorry ,it is soooo wrong to say that teens should get abortions if they become pregnant, shame on you
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Avatar universal
wow this forum has become quite liberal. anyway i dont think its in the best interest to ever suggest abortion to a teenager on a website. you dont know anything about her, him, their family, what country they are from, if they would go to a place that is sterile, ect. i think encouraging them to find an adult to talk to is a wiser thing. but i dont suggest cheating on spouses either.
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145992 tn?1341345074
Liam, it is her decision whether or not to keep this baby.  I think this discussion is a little premature.  You should wait to have such a conversation after you've confirmed that she is indeed pregnant.  Unfortunately, if she does decide to keep the baby, you have no choice but to be responsible for this child.  You felt that you were responsible enough to have sex than this is what comes from that decision.  It is a very tough situation to be in and I see how you are feeling unbelievably overwhelmed.  Sometimes it is unfair to the men because they don't have any choices in these types of situations but these are the consequences to having sex.  I agree that if she isn't pregnant and you both continue to be sexually active, she needs to get on some sort of birth control.  It is better to be safe than sorry and it is some extra precaution so that this kind of situation won't happen again.  
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174483 tn?1327625477
ok we both agree they need options, i didnt choose to read the rest of your post because its probably restating what you said in all the other posts, if you are so pro-choice you shouldnt get so defensive when one disagrees with yours, i should have said shame on you, so i apologize, im done with this now
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Avatar universal
i agree with all your comments

however my question was i dont know if its natural or not for her to be late after having sex or if she is pregneant

i dont know :(
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
"shame on you"

You may be "tay's" mommy, but you are certainly not mine, and the patronizing attitude really isn't necessary. It also makes you appear quite ridiculous.

I never suggested that this young woman be "forced" to have an abortion.  What I support is this  girl being told what every option is for her, if in fact she is pregnant. That is why I recommended she speak to a trusted adult about the situation.

I'm not aware of any studies indicating that abortion causes "devastating effects" for women in later life. I'm sure there are anecdotal cases of this, just as there are anecdotal cases of women feeling great relief at having an abortion. BearHitch, please provide those studies if you have access to them.

Abortion is one of the safest medical procedures, and studies have consistently  borne this out.  Legal abortions are ten times safer than childbirth. Hofferth & Reid in 2002 found that teens who become parents are at higher risk of social and economic disadvantages throughout their lives than women who delay childbearing. So I would argue that becoming a parent as a teenager could have "devastating effects" on this young woman because she will be less likely to graduate from high school and more likely to be poor than if she had delayed childbirth until later. I would only add that ACCESS to abortion is essential to the economic well-being of women and girls, and it is important that women have the ability to control their reproductive lives, and that would include access to abortion.

As far as this forum getting more "liberal," I see that as a good thing. This forum is about relationships, and reactionary conservative attitudes about relationships, in Western society at least, have had  devastating effects on women, children, and relationships in general, both socially and economically.  

I find it interesting that it is generally conservatives (the "less" liberal among you) who favor cutbacks in social services, including cuts in public health clinics, cuts in family and food aid benefits, and cuts in jobs programs and public school funding, yet continue to insist  that abortion not be an option.  This clearly speaks to the importance of the "fetus" and not the child once it is born. How is that in the "best interests of the child?"  I for one would like to know how those of you who support such policies reconcile this obvious disconnect between wanting what's best for the child but then denying basic services to economically disadvantaged women who you would also "insist" not have an abortion. Any takers on that one, folks?

The more choices a woman has to control her own body and her own reproductive health, the greater the opportunities for her economically, and socially.  I stand by my opinion that this young woman requires counseling from a trusted adult who can lay out for her ALL of her options, including abortion, adoption, or deciding to become a teen parent, with all that that would entail for her, and what it would mean for her future.




Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Liam, you need to be a little more concerned than just about "whether it's natural" for a woman to be late with her monthly cycle. Start taking some responsibility for your actions - learn how to use a condom, for starters. If your girlfriend ends up pregnant, it'll change your entire  life if she chooses to keep this kid. Your. Entire. Life. That's not a joke.

JaybusHChrist, you better hope she's just late.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I will gladly take up this argument about abortion.  Below are the studies and information that you requested.  No one ever said that abortion wasn't safe, but it is in no way the best interest of a woman.  The emotional and psychological aspects are what are most important in that situation, and even if the procedure goes thru without a hitch, the long-term effects can be terrible.  Many women may not deal with them immediately, but they will surface in time if they do not do that.  That is why there are so many crisis pregnancy centers that offer post-abortion counseling and help- because that is not something the abortion clinic is going to tell you when they take their money.  If I am wrong, please show ME the study that proves there are no emotional or psychological effects to be worried about with an abortion, as I would be very interested in reading what it had to say.  

Becoming a parent as a teenager will not have the devastating effects that an abortion will.  It confuses me when there is this huge push that women should have the right to do whatever they want to their bodies and that they should have access to something that will only harm them more than carrying a baby to term.  Why not consider adoption?  There are many women in the United States who are unable to have children- why not give them a chance at a family?  Why kill an innocent child?  If teens are going to have premarital sex, they should be ready to take on the results of what happens sometimes- and that is pregnancy!  Why is it no longer acceptable to learn from the things that we do?  I used to work in a crisis pregnancy center, and I never heard a client tell me she regretted carrying her baby- no matter what her age was.  

Why do you lump all of these "conservatives" into one group and say we all stand for the same thing?  What a generalization!  I will remove myself from the group and say that I support most social services, and in fact am in involved in delivering most of those services to those in need.  And I can still say that abortion is not in the best interest of the child in the womb or outside.  

And I too will stand by the opinion above and my opinion that while she should talk to a trusted adult she knows, she should talk to someone who KNOWS all of the options in full- including the effects of an abortion- and not someone at planned parenthood who will push them right in and assure them- as you said, that it will not devastate her.
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Avatar universal
Whoops- forgot to post those studies...  

http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/after_effects_of_abortion.asp

http://www.troubledwith.com/ParentingTeens/A000000640.cfm?topic=parenting%20teens%3a%20crisis%20pregnancy

http://www.afterabortion.org/

http://www.epigee.org/pregnancy/psychological.html

Let me know if you would like more.
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Avatar universal
i am actually more concerned whether or not she is.

me asking whether its natural or not is a question becuase i do not know.

im sorry if that offends you
and i do realise that it will affect my entire life.

i do know how to use a condom so stop sayin that for starters

i jsut want to know if being a few days late after sex is natural or not.
i dont care for your arguments im in need of advice and if u want to argue about abortion start another forum becuase im on here for help not arguing.
Helpful - 0
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