Is it me or is he just to stubborn and clingy

[Musefiend]

My Boyfriend and I have been dating for the better part of seven years and dont have any problems except for when it come to sleeping together, Not sex but acaul sleep. We are compleat oppisits when it comes to bed time, He need like 9 hours of sleep and I only like 5, he goes to bed around 9:30, I cant get to sleep after Midnight. This wouldn't be a problem really except he wants to go to bed with me, so I end up in bed at 9:30, in the dark twiddling my thumbs for hours. Thank god for my Ipod or I would go crazy.

And I like my to cuddle something to my chest when I sleep, a pillow, a stuffed animal, my boyfriend arm, which is his fav, and my least because he cant help but get a little frisky, which is fine most of the time but now when Im trying to sleep, so when I tell him to stop he gets all hurt and I fell bad.

It even goes as far as having the door open, to closed. I always like the door open so I can hear the dogs out side when they bark in the middle of the night. He needs it closed for complete darkness.

I have been compromising on this our whole relationship, but recently I have had enough, my dog had puppy's recently, and she is in side because it is too cold out. So I need the door open so I can let her out to go to the bathroom. Now my boyfriend refuses to sleep in our bed, he sleeps in the guest room with the door firmly shut. so I am the one who has to get up every hour to let the dog out stay up for a half hour while she does her thing then let her back in. the thing is, that he offers to let her out, but I was like how can you with out the door open.

So now the pups are almost ready to go out side, and my Bf will be back in our bed, every thing his way. and I just cant stand it. My friends think I am over reacting, saying things like its my dog so I should take care of her not him, and that he works, so he should get to sleep the way he wants. I understand that, but its not like how sleep doesn't matter. Part of me thinks I just being insane, and the other half knows he is being a bit of a jerk.

Your opinion Please

[pcarsey]

If he just needs complete darkness, why don't you get him a sleep mask? Maybe he would like it.

[sammy73]

I don't think you are being stubborn or clingy.  Clearly you have a conflict of needs here - what is called for is a creative solution that is a reasonable compromise for both of you.

If he needs this much sleep, you cannot ask him to go to bed any later than he does.  Sounds like you have a reasonable compromise by using your iPod (try getting an iPod Touch, it's got a bigger screen and you could watch movies or TV episodes on it more easily!).  I would suggest that it's only fair that some nights he puts up with you not coming to bed at the same time as him, you stay up and watch TV or do stuff on your computer before you go to bed.  Work out a compromise that you can both live with.

As for the dog, maybe you could use a baby monitor?  That way you could hear the dog even with the door closed.  Or maybe he could wear a blindfold to get the darkness he needs (I sympathise, I sleep much better in total darkness too).

If you are both creative in looking for solutions, and both prepared to give a bit of ground for the sake of mutual happiness, I hope you can find a solution that works for both of you.