Jealous Boyfriend

[MemphisChick625]

I have been dating a guy since January of this year. I have introduced him to my friends and we have hung out many times together. However he has brought something up that has more than bothered me but hurt me. I have 3 gay male friends that I have been friends with since High School so about 7 years. He is acting extremely jealous and says I use them as a crutch. I went to dinner with them this past Saturday night and he accuses me of lying on my location and cheating even though I invited him to go with us. He is now telling me that if I can go out to dinner, a movie, lunch, shopping with these guys who again are gay that he should be able to go out with any woman for the same thing. He tells me that it doesn't matter if they are gay they are still men. They have been over to his place with me when we have all cooked dinner and hung out, they have talked with him about advice on guy stuff, there is no doubt they are gay. I don't understand or know how to handle this. I asked if he wants me to drop them as friends to not have anything to do with them he says no but still insists that if I want to hang out with them he will go out and spend time with other women who can be single and straight.
Call me stupid I guess I want reassurance that this is wrong. I need to hear from someone else that this is not fair what he is putting me through. My boyfriend does not go out, he does not have lady friends. We spend a lot of time, pretty much live together. So I am not sure what exactly to do.

[sudie58]

i totally agree with kevin, he is a bit controlling and very immature!! i think you would be well out of it, or at least you carry on seeing your friends! best wishes,

[kevin7727]

Well i think this guy is being very inmature about the whole thing and if you are having problems this early on in this relationship its best you get out of it soon. He sounds like a very jealous and insecure person and you dont need to put up with it you and i know you deserve better. If he cant trust you with hanging out with gay friends that you have know way before him then he needs to grow up and you need to move on because trust me it is only going to get worse.

[tgtiffany]

But, correct me if I'm wrong, he was fine with this before right?  As you said you've been hanging out with them, he KNOWS them and has even hung out with them before.  That's why I think it's just a ploy to push you away so he can do whatever he wants, if it's seeing another woman, or using without someone to tell him no.  You know?  

[teko]

Regardless of his motives, always remember to treat others the way you want to be treated. In other words, reverse the situation and imagine how you would feel if he hung out with beautiful women, gay or not. Im not saying its wrong, just saying if its good for the goose itse good for the gander.  Secondly, or maybe this should have been my first one. Change for no one!!!! NO ONE!!! I firmly believe that if you have to go changing who yu are or what you do, or believe in,  because of someone elses issues, they simply are not compatible with you in the first place. If the man does not trust you, he doesnt trust you, period.

[tgtiffany]

I would have to agree with RockRose as well.  Especially the fact that he doesn't want you to stop talking to them, he wants you to keep doing what you are doing so he has a reason to do what he wants to do.  And it might not even be just that either.  It is wrong for him to do this, but it's his way of trying to get out when you've done nothing wrong.  The next thing to happen is for y'all to start fighting and then everything blow up and he leave because of that.  It might also be his way of pushing you away so he can still use.  My husband always used to do things that made me mad when I was trying to help him, pushing me farther and farther away.  You can't really be sure, but I bet it's got something to do with that.  

[RockRose]

He wants to date other women,  and he's using this as leverage.  

My guess is you'll say no,  that's not it at all.  But I've seen this before,  and I still say yes it is.  ;D  Men who start saying well okay then I can go date other women,  are looking for permission to do that.  If he doesn't get the permission,  he'll do it anyway.