Just need some advice and a place to talk

[07wrxsti]

Hello to all. I hope this is in the right section and I apologize about it being so long but I really need some advice. I really don't know where to start. My wife and I have been married for 6 years been together for 10. I'm 26 and she is 27. Things were great until we got married but, since we have been married her sex drive has just slowly been going away. their is absolutely no intimacy at all in our marriage. Seems like the only time we even kiss anymore is before bed, its been 3 months with no physical contact at all and I'm at my wits end trying to figure out what happened. I've tried talking and I do the majority of the house hold chores to give her a break. We do have two children ages 6 and 3 and she works and goes to school. I know that can cause a lot of stress and play a big part in a women's hormones but 3 months just seems to be pushing it. I went through the same thing when I was in school and working as well but I was never to tired for her. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried everything I can to make her happy and less stressed but it just seems we are going in different directions.  The no sex is really the only bad part in our marriage. Sex just doesn't seem to be at all important to her and its very important to me but she doesn't seem to care at all. She gets mad every time I bring up the subject. It just really hurts me that she won't even try to do better. She will not talk to her doctor about it and rule out anything medical. She won't talk to anyone about it for that matter. I really love my wife deeply and I don't want a divorce at all but I can't live in a sexless marriage.  Any advice you guys and gals could give me will be very appreciated. I'm sure I've probably left out some details as well.

[07wrxsti]

I bring up the subject about once a month. I try not to be to pushy with everything. She does always get mad when I bring it up and always says that sex is the only thing I care about so maybe it is in the way I broach the subject. She always uses the same excuses as well. She's either tired,stressed, has a headache or an upset stomach. I will talk to her again and see if I can get her to open up a bit and tell me what's bothering her so much. Its just a rough go sometimes trying to talk to her. Thank you for the advice

[Sasha90]

You said your wife becomes angry when you bring up the subject, how often do you bring up the subject? You need to let your wife know that it is not all about the sex with you, that may be how she is interpeting it. You should let her know that you feel like she is  disconnecting from you and ask her straight out why she has been like that. Let her know that you are there to support her and listen to anything she has to say. Let her know that she can feel comfortable telling you what has been bothering her. She may be stressed about various things and she is wearing down her body and does not feel like being sexual at all. Worst case senario is that she is distancing herself from the marriage. I hope that is not the case but in any aspect if that is the case you deserve to know. You deserve to know where you stand and how she still feels about you two as a married couple. I hope it all works out.

[07wrxsti]

I should probably re-phrase what I said a little. Its not the act of sex that I want. Its the intimacy and the closeness that I want. I crave attention and I'm a romantic at heart.   I've tried a lot of different things when it comes to taking her out. Dinner, movies, weekend trips and lots of other things.  Everything will be going great until we get back home then its like I'm not even their anymore. Every time we plan a trip or a vacation she always wants her best friend and her husband to come along. It just seems like she's trying to avoid me to be honest.  

[lucknlove1989]

If your marriage is in fact as good as you say, minus the sex part, then maybe your wife just wants to feel an effort from you to be intimate. Maybe she doesn't want it to seem like its just sex. Have you considered maybe having a date night with her once a week or at least every other week? If possible then get a babysitter for a night and take your wife out and do something nice for her. Take her out to a nice dinner, movie, play pool, any type of hobby she likes but combined with the romance of a nice dinner or something. Then at the end of the whole date take her home give her a nice relaxing massage and ease your way into the sexual part. Some women need to feel wanted and loved to intimate and maybe that is exactly what she needs.

Hope this helps! Best wishes...