LONG DISTANCE

[16wnder]

So I move in 5 days and me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years no break up. he graduates this friday from HS and im so excited for him. The only thing is, i leave right after it and its finally hitting me that im moving. Im so sad, i dont want to leave here or him, we're not going to be able to see eachother until prob. christmas. I think we will make it, i hear long distance relationships are real hard though. anyone have any advice? I know me and him can do it, i mean,  how hard can it really be?

[green eyed lady]

I am so sorry to say sweetie...absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder...just ask my 20 yr. old college daughter. Good luck to you anyways.

[kitlyn]

Hi : i posted a comment here .but it never posted. My husband and i before we were married  had a long distance relationship. It was  fine at first , he lived about 150 miles away. Then we got married and i asked him to please leave and come to my state , after that  it all went downhill so to speak. He lasted a year  after which he declared that he needed to be near his mother and a job he loved there he wanted to go back to. This was 7 years ago. We were separated for a yr and then i gave in and moved there , even though i had a business here. Long distance , doesn;t always work. We are now separated again, and i live in my home state. I had a condo in his state w him for 5 yrs , and left it last yr, as i was ill and needed to be around my family. He just left me yesterday to return to his state i guess its fiannly over. He wants me to wait a yr or maybe longer when he can become more secure again w his job theree. I am not doing the long distance thing any longer. It hasn;t worked for me, but it  may for you, I am sory i went on about my troublle, still shellshocked about him and the whole thing. K

[kitlyn]

Hi all: i married a man from a diff state.. I hear that your very young. It didn;t work for me so far..i m still in trouble w it. His family lives there too, and he left a good job to move here to be w me  as i had a business here, and it wa a disaster. He couldn;tbe wout his older mother , and i didn;t know it until it was too late.. woke up one day he was gone , back to his state.. Finally i moved there in  smaller place so he could be happy , but i was taken ill last yr and had to move back to my home state , plus take care of a large property of my familys. He left me 5 times as he claimed he couldn;t live here .. Yesterday he left me again, i am heartbroken again.. Finally i see i may have to end it for good this time. Its been terrible, sad etc. It worked in the very begonning. Sorry to go on i directed this to PJ and all as i have been so upset too. It may work for a while but if something changes wyou during that time or he , then it could be not so happy. It may be fine for you both, just be careful/. Take care peace to all , K

[koukla29]

The truth is that nobody knows what can happen in a period of time.  Long distance is difficult, but if you are meant to be with someone, it will happen.  If you are not, there are better things out there for you.  I am a big believer in fate.  
The number one thing that will help a long distance relationship suceed is communication.  I'm rootin for ya!

[mami1323]

Pertykitty is not trying to be mean.  We've just all experienced this and although you want to believe that this relationship will last...the chance of it is slim.  Right now you are feeling confused and sad and you want to believe that this relationship is strong enough to withstand the separation.  Sweetie what you feel is normal, but the likelihood of it working out is slim.  You are both going away and will meet new people.  You will both try in the beginning to hang on but eventually the time apart will have it's toll on the relationship.  You may meet a guy that you may be attracted to and he may meet a girl that he will be attracted to.  Eventually you will both drift apart and will fall in love with other people.  We are not saying this to be harsh but saying it from experience.  It's part of life.  My best friend was with her first boyfriend for 5 years, they both went to different colleges far apart.  They cried so much because they were going to miss eachother.  They wrote, they called and she even flew to his college for a long weekend just to see him.  When she finally did get to see him after all that time, the feelings were not the same.  She didn't feel as strongly for him as she once had.  The reason for this is because she had met someone at her college.  Even though nothing was going on between them, she had an attraction to him.  She fought it for awhile until after she finally saw her boyfriend, she realized that the feelings for the new guy were stronger.  Eventually, they decided the distance was too much and broke up.  She is married, with one child to that very same man she met in college.  They have been together for 13 years.  So you see, moving on sometimes may seem rough in the beginning but there is always a silver lining.  Good luck with any decision you go with.

[pertykitty]

well im sorry you didnt like what i had to say. you work at it if that is what you want. your young and can only see right in front of you. when we go to college we meet new people. when we move we meet new people. we get lonely. we go out and im sorry to say find someone who can fill that void we might have from  a long distance relationship. i do hope im wrong, you love him very much. i was your age and i had the love of my life (at that time).we were together till we were 21, even living together for the last 6 months. people change, grow, become different with other expectations and goal. i do know a few that have been high school sweethearts and made it, but it wasnt from a long distance relationship. let me ask you this, if he is graduatiing and 18, and you are moving, why isnt he following? if you are both so in love what is keeping him there? he cant have such a great job that it keeps him, he can go to college anywhere if that is what he wants to do. i know at 17 life seems so positive always and full of dreams. that is great. but as you mature you see that life isnt always like that. and if you dont like what others have to say missy, you need to find a teen forum. really you have to be 18 to post here anyway.

[PJ565]

I can only speak from my experience and I have to say that I agree with pertykitty.  I say this as 1) a mother of a girl your age and 2) as someone who had a long distance relationship. 3) as someone that wishes they could be your age again and know what I know now. but hey don't we all?

I was engaged (after my divorce) to the most wonderful man and he was offered a position with a presitigous law firm on the other coast of our state.  I stayed here and we took turns going back and forth on weekends.  After awhile it became every other weekend.  Not because we did not want to see each other, but because he was working alot to prove himself to the partners in the firm and because I had obligations and a career here. The plan was for me to move there within a year, but in the meantime our lives went different directions.  That is a risk in a long distance relationship. I also did not particularly like the city he moved to and he did not like the one we came from.  Long story short give it a try, but don't be devastated if it does not work.  As a mom person I would tell my daughter at this age of the game focus on school and knowing yourself before you worry too much about a relationship.  If i had followed my own advice I would not have married so young and would have completed my college degree much sooner.  I don't want to sound preachy or like I am trying to be your mother.  I am not.  Just sharing with you.  Whatever you choose to do I wish the best and keep me posted on how things go.

[bip]

All I can say is try it it might work it might not. You sound like you love him and reverse.  You never know if something is going to work out until you try it and if it did that great if it doesn't work out you can say to yourself at least I tried to work it out. I think you should do what you want.  This is my advice.

Good Luck!!!

[16wnder]

thank you for ur advice, that is what i was asking for in the blog, but i have to disagree with you. you are very blunt i will say that, but i have faith in me and him, we have been through a lot, many many fights, and we have never broken up, we always fix things, and our arguements here and there seem to have brought us closer to eachother. yes we may be young, he is goin on 18 and i am going on 17 but age has nothing to do with anything over this. 2 years and no break up is very rare nowadays , we are best friends, and yes it will be hard not to tlak to eachother much, but because of his graduation soon, it will be easier, i have one more year of school and he is just about out, so it would be as hard to see eachother compared to if we were both going to still be in school. again thanks for ur advice, but i have to disagree and say that you should have a little more faith in others even if you do not know them.

[pertykitty]

i am going to give you the truth. no it will not make it. you are both young, maybe first loves (remember him, we all have that great first love) and even if i n the same town, would most likely grow apart and find many others. i know you are upset, and i am not telling you its not hard, or that you should just forget him. my first many loves are still in my memories. its hard, but you do move on. im sorry you have to experience this. we all have. and we all move on. im not saying you shouldnt keep writing, or just break up. just that eventually one of you will tire of not having someone to hang out with on the weekends. phone calls alone are not enough. good luck on your move and your new life.