Lack of sexual contact with my husband

[louise518]

female age 52 had both my ovaries out one year ago. before that I was not too keen on sex anymore because of the pain during intercourse and I would tear . Between the tearing on the outside and inside and the pain in my pelvic area at that time for a long time I pulled a way ,far a way . he became angry at me. One year later and I have attempted sex with very little luck and I tear outside and inside .It takes up to two weeks for me to heal and endless hot baths to help me get through the pain . one year ago he had an affair and I fell apart . I more hurt and noe more angry. he lets me know I am not doing my part all the time in subtle ways . Why am I having so much pain and tearing during sex and can I find a doctor who can do some sort of surgery to make me "bigger?" or whatever it takes to stop that problem? Also I cannot take hormones because of breast cancer . I am in remission  but hormones are out of the question now . Ideas would be appreciated . thanks in advance

[AnnieBrooke]

If the situation is really done with, maybe it *is* time to get clear of the things that are not working.  If you can mutually afford to split up, and neither of you is getting anything out of being together, you're young enough to go on and might do it more happily, if you were without him.   At least you would not be feeling flat and guilty and hurt.  You could order your own life without thinking of how to take care of another person.  That alone can be a lift.  

[louise518]

While I understand the dynamics of everything u mentioned  I have zero feelings left inside me . This is one problem with later in life ,no hormonal therapy of any sort  one year pst surgery and the hurt of an affair that was not really either fault it simply was.
what I am hope to hear I believe [ laughing at myself ] is a miracle answer to a situation that might actually be broken and done with . Maybe I should let him go and allow me to deal with my health issues  alone ,he is tired and burned out I know this . Health issues are hard on him he has been married to one solid health issue .
thank you for your response you are very appreciated ! louise518 *