Living with my boyfriend

[zula86]

I´ve been with my bf for around 4 years and I love him so much and he says he loves me a lot too.Well, since the beginning of our relationship I told him that I wish to get married before I move from my parents¨ home beacuse i belive in marrying in church and  I wanted to finish studying in the university first and he agreed. Also, he said he wish to get married marry too. He knew how important it was for me. Then, around one week ago he went into a little argument with my sister and my mother got a little big angry with him and he felt like he couldnt go anymore to my house to visit me. then, now he asked to go and live with him but in his parents house and that we will get married but not right now beacuse he want to save some money to have a great wedding. It surprised me a lot and he told me that he can´t wait more to be next to me everyday and live with me but if dont decide to do it he will then move to other place far from here to find a job. this is difficult for me I dont know what to do I have not talk to my mother beacuse I know that she problably woulndnt agree and I am afraid. he said that I am so worried of what other people would say about living together without getting married. sometimes I think of the idea of living with him but sometimes I remember my wish of marrying in a church. I am worried because he does some things that he should change before living with me. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....sorry for my English

[zula86]

thanks for all of your comments

[Londres70]

Live in HIS parents' home and not your parents' home?  Hmmm...........sounds like he is already trying to shut you off from your parents/family.  And all this is over one fight?  Sounds like your sister, mother and your bf/fiance didn't really care for each other in the first place.  

He sure is throwing alot of ultimatums at you; I am sensing a "control freak" in my opinion.  Perhaps this is what your mother and sister are sensing.

Anyone who is encouraging leaving your family to be with them and encouraging "0" contact with them.....hmmmmm............

In my opinion, he shouldn't be anyone considered for marriage.  He sounds extremely selfish and controlling.  


Oh, yes DITTO TinKKerBBeLL; absolutely.    

[specialmom]

Tinkerbell, you have a way of breaking things down to make them simple.  Agree, this doesn't sound good.  Thanks for your insight.

[TTinKKerBBell]

He loves You!! ??
and he can't wait to be next to You every day!! ??
and live with You!! ??

BUT

if You don't decide to do it he will move to another place!! !!
far from here!! !!
to find a job!! !!

If he can't wait to be next to You, why would he leave??   He's giving You an ultimatum - if You don't do it his way, he's gone!!

And what about "I'm worried because he does some things that he should change before living with me"?? - That sounds ominous AND important!!

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, I think that if you go and live with him, you may have a rift that you can't ever repair with your mom/family.  You want to get married prior to living with a man, then stick to that.  

I think a better option would be for whatever the fight was about or why it caused your boyfriend to be disallowed from visiting, to be resolved.  What did your boyfriend say/do?  I would work on everyone resolving that fight rather than the drastic move of going to live with his family.  Not worth it

good luck