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Love and Breakup
Hi guys. I am 19 years old male. I was in relationship from 3 months with my girlfriend. It was my first relationship and it was her 4th relationship. I was seriously honest to this relationship and i love her like anything and i would do anything for her because my love was never fake. But like we say there are lot of fights in relationships. We use to fight all the time on phone. We use to meet like every two days from the start of our relationship. And when things went wrong she we stopped. The thing is i was always concerned about her past relationships and i seriously became upset because of her past relationships. Than i asked my friends and cousins about this they said you should stop talking about her past as long as she is in relationship with you at this time. Than slowly i stopped taking about her past. I always use to say things like you use many socials sites stop using it or stop talking to your friends that were friends of her ex. Because it really hurts me when she does that. I know it is my first relationship but i just want it to be the last, she always use to say i am going to marry you and even i was serious about her and i also wanted to marry her. But than things went wrong again. I starting abusing her about her all because of the fights. I used really bad words like prostitute. I called my girlfriend character less girl. Who changes her boyfriend and who doesn't care. After all than misunderstanding she broke up with me. She started hating me, she said i don't want to see you or anything. We were about to join a collage together and she said that don't join the same collage with me because it will ruin your future as well as mine. It really hurt-ed me. I know i was wrong, but seriously my love is not that week that it can end in 3 months. Its not a joke to end a relationship. I seriously don't know what should i do. A lot of people suggest me but i seriously cant do anything. I stooped eating food, i stopped going outside and even stopped hanging out with my friends that much as i use to before. All my day goes in depression. All the time i think about her, she is not getting off my mind. I love her like anything and i want to be with her forever. Whenever i call her she reminds me the words i used against her, she says what are you going to do to have a girl like me, i am a prostitute right, so why you are calling me again. I just don't want to be in relationship with you. I just want to say single. She said i don't have feelings for you now even that hurt-ed me a lot. How can her feelings go just a week. Is that called love. I am dieing without her. I just want to be with her. Please people someone help me in this case. I seriously want her back.
Hi everyone -
We are going to close this thread. We wish you all the best of luck.
Emily
************************** CLOSED THREAD *******************************
NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE
We are going to close this thread. We wish you all the best of luck.
Emily
************************** CLOSED THREAD *******************************
NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE
COMMUNITY LEADER
PS: I recommend to all to avoid drama. crying isn't drama but I think that this thread depicts drama. Luck to all
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't think sunny was saying anything rude about you but rather speaking about mistakes he made.
I think perhaps this relationship should rest for a bit and everyone work on maturing and being better with the next go round of a relationship.
good luck sunny.
I think perhaps this relationship should rest for a bit and everyone work on maturing and being better with the next go round of a relationship.
good luck sunny.
Push me away, if you dont feel like you can be faithful, pull me close, if im the one you cant leave without, hold me tight, I wanna stay in your arms, let me go, if all you have to offer is sorrow.
and i am really happy if you've taken decision to move on. love and luck always at your toes
what if that girl wants to come back to you?
time changes and people as well. sometimes in life there are problems which can never be discussed with anyone and especially when that person is afraid to share his or her problems with the most special person of her life. cos at last she knows whatever the thing will be.... she'll be the one to be misunderstood. when all she is considered as **** just because she got betrayed in her past relationships and she tried to move on.
this is me..... sunny's girl friend....who has been considered player all the time...whose tears were considered drama. whose friendship with other guys and girls was considered "not to be done"
time changes and people as well. sometimes in life there are problems which can never be discussed with anyone and especially when that person is afraid to share his or her problems with the most special person of her life. cos at last she knows whatever the thing will be.... she'll be the one to be misunderstood. when all she is considered as **** just because she got betrayed in her past relationships and she tried to move on.
this is me..... sunny's girl friend....who has been considered player all the time...whose tears were considered drama. whose friendship with other guys and girls was considered "not to be done"
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, you are welcome sunny. I must say you seem like a nice guy. I hope you can move on and be on equal footing with a woman. Take relationships slow though. They build slowly over time rather than happen all at once. That is the best way to give it a sturdy foundation. And work on some anger management techniques for yourself so you can handle anything without low blows. Peace and luck to you
yeah no offense to both of you... its was just her who said this stuff and to make her satisfy i had to wrote that down... you guys were right.. i should move on and i hope i will from it soon... thanks to both of you for all your support, even we r anonymous but still we listens to our pains and give out the conclusion... this is called humanity.. thank you both specialmom nd TTinKKerBBell... god bless everyone..
Agree with SpecialMom. No one "judges" anyone (I'm not even sure if I know what that means????) Your name is probably not sunnyg777, SpecialMom's name is not SpecialMom and my name is not TTinKKerBBell. So, it's all okay. Everyone here is anonymous. We don't know You or Your GirlFriend and You don't know SpecialMom or me or anyone else - Everyone only offers ideas, opinions, surmises - all of it is well intended and only meant for You to take what You can use and leave the rest, Your choice, each and every time. Just know that EveryOne means well and hopes the best for You.
COMMUNITY LEADER
No one judged her sunny. It isn't a bad thing to have a few relationships in the teens in my opinion. I am hoping that you can move on though as this relationship is what sounds unhealthy.
By the way, you had every right to post here- you didn't name names and we have no idea who you are. She shouldn't be mad at you. You two are broken up and you were looking for support and advice.
Please stay strong and I hope you follow the above advice to make school your number one priority.
By the way, you had every right to post here- you didn't name names and we have no idea who you are. She shouldn't be mad at you. You two are broken up and you were looking for support and advice.
Please stay strong and I hope you follow the above advice to make school your number one priority.
im seriously sorry guys for posting this thread... by mistake i told my girlfriend that i shared my story with some strangers and she felt bad about it... Im seriously sorry that i did this... and yeah i forgot to mention that her past relationships ended up for a reason, nobody knows her story. SO PLEASE PEOPLE DON'T JUDGE HER IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER.
I can't add to anything SpecialMom and NurseGirl gave to You. They've given excellent advice.
I will suggest though, that going to the same college may feel like "stalking" to Her (sounds a little like stalking to me). The only reason You give for selecting that particular college is about Her : "so I would make Her feel that I feel guilty for the stuff I said"
She's done - You need to accept that.
You WILL love again!! This I know is true.
Good Luck
I will suggest though, that going to the same college may feel like "stalking" to Her (sounds a little like stalking to me). The only reason You give for selecting that particular college is about Her : "so I would make Her feel that I feel guilty for the stuff I said"
She's done - You need to accept that.
You WILL love again!! This I know is true.
Good Luck
I couldn't agree with specialmom more. She really gave you excellent advice that you should take to heart.
You are VERY young, and you seem quite immature, which is ok, it's your age, combined with the fact that this was your first serious relationship. Use it as an experience you can learn from.
For one, you shouldn't have been even considering marriage after 3 months, and at your age. When you're young and you feel that intense love and yearning for a person, it's easy to assume you want to be with that person forever. As you grow and mature, you'll learn to realize that a "forever' kind of decision needs to be based on a lot more than "love" and passion. You must consider compatibility, your history with a person, how well you know them, and much more. 3 months is not nearly long enough to make a determination about ANY of those things.
Your best option, like SM said, is to work on "you". It's time to move on and put this relationship behind you, and learn from your actions. Of course it's going to hurt for a while, but you'll eventually heal and move on yourself. Don't focus on dating right now...spend time with your friends, concentrate on your studies, THAT is the most important thing in your life. You don't want to get serious about another girl for a while. That would be a "rebound" relationship, where you are basically trying to "replace" your ex with a new girl...those NEVER end up good. Been there, done that.
You may feel down and depressed, which again, is normal, but you also have to start pushing yourself a little bit....get out and do things, instead of sitting home and ruminating about your ex gf.
There are a lot of colleges. Unless there are HUGE collegiate advantages to going to the same school as her, you shouldn't even consider that as an option. That will give both of you a fresh start, which you need.
Best of luck...learning experiences may hurt, but you will learn from it, and your next relationship will be more fulfilling, more mature.
You are VERY young, and you seem quite immature, which is ok, it's your age, combined with the fact that this was your first serious relationship. Use it as an experience you can learn from.
For one, you shouldn't have been even considering marriage after 3 months, and at your age. When you're young and you feel that intense love and yearning for a person, it's easy to assume you want to be with that person forever. As you grow and mature, you'll learn to realize that a "forever' kind of decision needs to be based on a lot more than "love" and passion. You must consider compatibility, your history with a person, how well you know them, and much more. 3 months is not nearly long enough to make a determination about ANY of those things.
Your best option, like SM said, is to work on "you". It's time to move on and put this relationship behind you, and learn from your actions. Of course it's going to hurt for a while, but you'll eventually heal and move on yourself. Don't focus on dating right now...spend time with your friends, concentrate on your studies, THAT is the most important thing in your life. You don't want to get serious about another girl for a while. That would be a "rebound" relationship, where you are basically trying to "replace" your ex with a new girl...those NEVER end up good. Been there, done that.
You may feel down and depressed, which again, is normal, but you also have to start pushing yourself a little bit....get out and do things, instead of sitting home and ruminating about your ex gf.
There are a lot of colleges. Unless there are HUGE collegiate advantages to going to the same school as her, you shouldn't even consider that as an option. That will give both of you a fresh start, which you need.
Best of luck...learning experiences may hurt, but you will learn from it, and your next relationship will be more fulfilling, more mature.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I know you are sorry and I am sorry all of this happened. What is that old saying "everything happens for a reason". You have to trust that life will work out. With her or withOUT her. You'll find someone to love----- and this is really important, take what has happened with her and work on rewriting the script next time. When mad, have things to do that will stop you from using unking words. Come up with a real plan so that you never do that again.
As to college, here is my best advice. Do not chase her there. Think about what is the best college for your studies and go there. If it does end up being the same one, then okay but prepare yourself for the fact that she is broken up from you and then you may have to watch her date other people. That would be hard and actually interfere with your studies. And at your age, and at this stage, college is really critical. So, make school the focus and make decisions with an ambitious career in mind . . . rather than this girl.
Okay, good luck dear. I wish you much happiness.
As to college, here is my best advice. Do not chase her there. Think about what is the best college for your studies and go there. If it does end up being the same one, then okay but prepare yourself for the fact that she is broken up from you and then you may have to watch her date other people. That would be hard and actually interfere with your studies. And at your age, and at this stage, college is really critical. So, make school the focus and make decisions with an ambitious career in mind . . . rather than this girl.
Okay, good luck dear. I wish you much happiness.
thanks a lot for your reply...
She is not a player i believe. She is a princess but she is also too childish. She said she don't want to get into any relationship from now on. She wants to stay single. She just wants to study now. But i know that she will continue doing her stuff in when she get into collage next month. I want to ask you should i join same collage where she is going, so i would make her feel that i feel guilty for the stuff i said. I am really sorry and willing to do anything to get her back. So tell me should i join same collage with her i should not because she moved on like you said.
She is not a player i believe. She is a princess but she is also too childish. She said she don't want to get into any relationship from now on. She wants to stay single. She just wants to study now. But i know that she will continue doing her stuff in when she get into collage next month. I want to ask you should i join same collage where she is going, so i would make her feel that i feel guilty for the stuff i said. I am really sorry and willing to do anything to get her back. So tell me should i join same collage with her i should not because she moved on like you said.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh my goodness. Well, this is a really valuable thing for you to know. Words when we are angry play over in the heads of the person we said them to like a tape recorder. I think words can be so very damaging. . . and when in a relationship we should pick them carefully. I'm sure you would not agree.
Sadly, she now knows that when provoked or angry (reasonably or unreasonably) that you will do whatever you can to hurt back. Dating is for learning what you need to know about a person to see if you should take things to the next level. She needs to make good choices for her just as you do and as you say, you were abusing her verbally and she said no more. You are sorry, I am sure. But she has a boundary that you crossed. She's moved on.
Here is my best advice. You seem insecure dear. She maybe was too involved with dating sites/social sites . . . but the way you told her to not do this and not do that in an almost desperate way to hold onto her to me says you need to work on your core inner self. If you feel really good about yourself, you are less intimidated by other people in her life. If she is playing around with other guys, then you should not want her back this much. So, decide which it is. Were you unreasonalbe and insecure or was she a player?
I'd work on your anger/frustration coping skills. This means that when you are super upset with someone you care about that you don't take cheap shots and call names but find other ways to communicate and other outlets for the stress/frustration. Giving yourself a time out and just walking away is a good way to avoid being cruel and trying to hurt with your words when mad.
After you've worked on your own life, your self esteem, and your anger management skills, maybe your paths will cross again and you can ask for another chance. But until you do this 'work'---- it would be risky for her to take you back.
I'm sorry you are hurting and hope that you can learn from this and go on to find a great relationship. peace
Sadly, she now knows that when provoked or angry (reasonably or unreasonably) that you will do whatever you can to hurt back. Dating is for learning what you need to know about a person to see if you should take things to the next level. She needs to make good choices for her just as you do and as you say, you were abusing her verbally and she said no more. You are sorry, I am sure. But she has a boundary that you crossed. She's moved on.
Here is my best advice. You seem insecure dear. She maybe was too involved with dating sites/social sites . . . but the way you told her to not do this and not do that in an almost desperate way to hold onto her to me says you need to work on your core inner self. If you feel really good about yourself, you are less intimidated by other people in her life. If she is playing around with other guys, then you should not want her back this much. So, decide which it is. Were you unreasonalbe and insecure or was she a player?
I'd work on your anger/frustration coping skills. This means that when you are super upset with someone you care about that you don't take cheap shots and call names but find other ways to communicate and other outlets for the stress/frustration. Giving yourself a time out and just walking away is a good way to avoid being cruel and trying to hurt with your words when mad.
After you've worked on your own life, your self esteem, and your anger management skills, maybe your paths will cross again and you can ask for another chance. But until you do this 'work'---- it would be risky for her to take you back.
I'm sorry you are hurting and hope that you can learn from this and go on to find a great relationship. peace
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