Marriage

[K1990]

I would just like to know at what age did you get married and how has the marriage gone?  I am going to be getting married at 19 and all I have heard lately is that young marriages don't last and I think that is why no one is giving me the respect I diserve when I tell them I'm engaged...  I know that this is going to change my life but it is going to be the most wonderful thing in the world.  I have been through a lot as a teenager that has made me realize what life is really all about and I have had to grow up pretty fast and I know that I am deffinantly more mature for my age and I do feel like at this time in my life I am ready for this.  I have known my fiance for a really long time and we started as friends and then turned into best friends before we ever even became involved and by doing that we have no secrets, we have nothing to hide and we are completly open about everything.  There isn't anything that I don't tell him and I am so comfortable with him and can tell him anything and everything.  I honestly do feel like I have found my soul mate and the love of my life.  I feel like in life you only have one "true love" and many people wait a really long time to find theirs but for me... I already found him, why wait if you have your true love because some people wait and wait and it never comes or they passed it up.  I know in my heart that this is all right and everything that I want, and I don't need to convince anyone because I know but it is frustrating how everyone looks at this.  Like I'm not old enough to know what I want or to know exactly what I'm doing.  Why do young marriages have such a bad name, just because some work and some dont... that happens at any age.

[imanaddict]

I've been married twice. The first time I had been in a (abusive) relationship and were together 7 yrs. We got married the 6th year we were together, and divorced a year later. I was 24 when we divorced. I met my high school crush at a bar 2 yrs later. He proposed at 6 weeks, we got married after 5 months, and we've been together ever since (married almost 6 yrs now) and I couldn't be happier! He IS my soul mate and best friend.

[kerianna26]

Well I was 25 yrs old when I got married, I'm now 26...my husband and I had been together for 6 years before we got married, and were friends for 3 years before we got together.  We actually are better now that we are married than when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend.  We had a very rocky relationship but now it's all changed and we actually love each other more than we did before.  To be honest, I was kind of scared to go into the whole marriage thing the way our relationship was...but I'm glad I did...so that just tells you there, that it just depends on the people involved and if they truly love each other...if it's going to work out or not.  So I suggest that if you really love him and he loves you the same, get married there's nothing wrong with it, just as long as you're both sure that's what you really want.  I wish you two the best of luck :)

[hldeskin]

I wish you the best of luck!  Wow, you're my little brothers age.  The reason people seem to think young marriages always fail is because many young people are so immature.   (like that brother I mentioned... he can't take care of himself let alone anyone else) But it is different for everyone!  I myself am only 19 and I am planning a wedding and have a six month old, so I am truly not far off.  It can really work out.  You just have to remember that there are a lot of road blocks.  There are going to be tons of things that challenge your relationship.  Work through them.  Be courteous and understanding and honest.  Like someone else has already said, the earlier you get married the longer you get to be married.  Good luck!

[K1990]

See the thing is we have talked about all of that... we know when we are going to start trying for a baby and when we are going to buy a house and we both have good jobs and are waiting until he has his BA and I have my AA to get married and just everything in between.  The only thing is that he is very religious and I'm not at all but I know how important it is to him and I have agreed to do what I need to do so we can get married by a priest and we decided that our kids have to be confermed and after that it is their choice to go to church or not.  He will take the kids to church and I just wont, I mean I would never ask him not to go and he will never ask me to go so I mean even something this important we have found a way to do it.  Thanks a lot for all the kind words!

[redneckmom]

Young marriages have a bad name because a very high percentage of them fail.  They fail because younger people don't usually have the stresses or even see them comming.  If you have been open about everything for your future goals and you are both honest and open minded you should be fine.  I would talk honestly about the following:

1. money  Are both of you going to work?  Does one of you spend and one save?  Are you going to share money or make your own and spend/save your own?

2. living arrangements..Do you want to own a home, rent a place? Do you want to live in the country or city?

3. family do you want children and how many?  How are you going to raise them and how are they going to be taken care of financially?

4.  future   when do you want to retire and how are you both going to get there?  what kind of life do you want to have when you retire?

5 religion (if you are religious)

The list could go on and on but I think these are the major ones that people forget to talk about and think will work themselves out.  They do not.  I really hope you have a long and happy marriage.  Just think, the younger you get married the longer you get to be married.  Not many people make it 50-60 years anymore   Good luck.

[shishka]

I agree with you. Not all marriages work out. I dont think age has anything to do with it most of the time. They are many 30- 35 years olds act like little kids and get divorce. If you think you have found true love and ready to get married, nothing is wrong with it.
I wish you all the best.