Married and Pregnant..However I feel Single and Pregnant

[DynamiteLady]

I am starting to hate my husband. He went on for so long about wanting a child. He had infertility issues so we had to do ivf so this pregnancy was deffo planned, however, he is becoming so selfish. I've been sick a few times during my pregnancy and it's like he doesn't care, he doesn't look after me. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and I'm in love with my unborn child however I feel like this child is only loved by me. Above everything, he really wanted a boy and we r expecting a boy . I don't kno Wat his problem is really. I feel like he's cheating on me as well.
We have started to live such separate lifestyles. We don't sleep in the same room. We barely talk anymore. Sometimes I feel like the most communication at home is wen I'm feeling kicks from lil one and singing to him.
I think its so unfair for me to feel this way wen we are supposed to be looking forward to our new bundle of joy.

[specialmom]

My pregnancies were all planned with my husband and he was indeed excited about them. But he wasn't like these dads you read about here going to doctors appointments or talking to my belly or any of that kind of thing.  Personally, thank goodness.  He's a successful businessman and I never even asked or wanted or needed him to go to a regular ob check appointment with me other than our one ultrasound appointment I had at 20 weeks.  

he wasn't connected to the pregnancy the way I was because he couldn't feel it happening like I could.  he was happy about the baby but just didn't really attach in a way that one would think a person would while I was pregnant.  

then I had our baby.  Oh goodness, daddy was in love.  He is a terrific father and very bonded and attached to his children.  But it happened after they were here and he could hold them.

So, sometimes that happens with men that we don't feel they are 'excited' or into it.  Then wham, baby comes and they certainly are.

however, you say things like you think he is cheating on you, you aren't sleeping in the same room, etc.  How did it get to that point?  You two need to sit down and TALK.  Ask him what is going on!!

[wifey_34]

I know exactly how u feel... Ive been prego 6 times with my husband and it never fails.. every pregnancy he starts to act different and distance... Ive never understand why....

[kris_1986]

My hubby was really detached with our first. he didn't take any interest unless I forced the issue. I was sick for 7 months and he didn't care either I'd be puking my guts up and he'd be on the computer completely oblivious. This time around he's been much more involved.

[irinasmb]

Go with your gut feeling, he's most likely cheating.  If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's gotta be a duck.

[lilpianogirl85]

Having a child is a huge step in any relationship. He is experiencing your pregnancy from a much different point of view. He could be very scared, nervous, have no clue what is going on or even feel disconnected. And some men handle that differently. The above suggestions are great but maybe if it is as bad as you say, think about counseling. It's not admitting defeat or anything it's just getting you guys adjust to a different period of your life, If he is open to it. Also try to remember to not make any big decisions right now because you are extremely emotional and hormones are all over the place. Just try to sit down and talk to him. Ask him what you can do to make this better for him. Honestly it might take him actually holding your baby before he feels connected at all. Good luck

[victoriamichelle1010]

Does he go to the appointments with you? He might just not feel involved and thats by no means your fault. They dont have the experience of having the baby inside of them kicking and moving so they dont get as attatched. My bf is the same way. Trtry to get him more involved. if you have any ultrasounds bring him with. If you wanna go baby shopping invite him ( he may not want to go) but just try to get him thinking about it more and maybe he will slowly get used to the idea.

Another thig is he kight be extremely nervous. If this is his first he may feel overwhelmed which is also normal. Try to comfort him. Talk to him about it. Let him know that you are just as nervous so you huys need to be in this pregnancy together.

I hope everything works out. Its hard going through pregnancy alone or even feeling alone when the father is still there.. try to see his side as well though. Its hard because our hormones just make us upset/mad but we really do have to understand they are about to be a parent to so everything we are worried about, they are too. Good luck!!

[babynumber2noahsmomma]

I know how u feel.. Im 14 weeks and been trying two yrs now it's like I'm alone..