Married and confused

[Sally459]

I really need help!!
My husband and I have been married for a little over a year, together over 3. Our relationship I can honestly say has never been great. We both have previous children and had our son a year before getting married. Before becoming pregnant with my son we split for a month. During this time, my husband claims he wasn't seeing anyone else ( I don't believe him. I found a few bits of information to prove otherwise) but he found out that I made out with someone else. He made me feel so bad and guilty about this and we started seeing each other again even though I had developed feelings for this other man. I became pregnant got married and so forth. But everyday since the make out session I have though about this other man! Many things remind me of him throughout the day. Occasionally ( once or twice a year) I would see him at my work as a customer. Recently my husband and I have really been on the rocks to the point of my wanting a divorce. We are "trying" to work things out but my husband says I've clammed up. I still think about this other man but that is not the reason for my wanting a divorce. I know in my heart my husband and I just have different views on life and what's important in life( reason why we split the first time). Also the other man has come into my work more often and we have started emailing each other. I know I shouldn't talk to him because of the way I have felt about him but how do I stop when talking to him just puts a smile on my face?

[Londres70]

Ditto Chima...........well said!

[Chima7]

There's a saying that goes, the grass is greener on the other side because it's fertized with bs. Your story is identical to countless other people's in the exact same situation and therefore it will result in the same problem where if you leave your husband for the other guy you'll just end up in this exact same position with the other guy. It's pretty much guaranteed because that is what always happens in this scenario. You're You're no different than all of the others. You are much better off working things out with your husband and leaving the other guy in the past where he belongs because nothing good would come of chasing after this other guy and you will regret having made such a bad decision to pick him over your family. It's not just about you anymore, you have kids and a family to consider in this as well. Your actions will have consequences on them too so you'd better do the right thing here.

[isha65]

Agree with life360. Try to make things better with your husband only.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, i sense from your post that you do love your husband but find qualities in the other man you also like. Insead of starting all over again maybe try to develop these qualities in your husband.