Aa
Minefield
Hello and thank you in advance for reading my post and possibly helping me with my problem.
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now. She has her quirks just like everyone else (for example - when she goes to bed she puts in ear plugs, wears noise-canceling headphones, a mask over her eyes and does not want any physical contact whatsoever so I have to stay far over on my side of the bed).
To be fair, I have my quirks/faults/shortcomings too. I can be impatient at times and I struggle with communicating my feelings. She tells me I don't act my age and that I'm not as "intellectually stimulating" as she'd like me to be. (To which I want to say, you didn't meet me in a science laboratory, you met me in a dance class.)
The problem is that lately, her nagging is relentless and unending. If I miss a spot in a pot that I cleaned, she shows it to me. If I don't clean a glass well enough she complains so I have to clean it again. BTW, we don't live together - this just happens when I stay over her place.
We were out for a bike ride one night when I asked if she minded if we pull over so I could buy a cup of coffee because I was cold. She told me that she DID mind! Like a fool, I kept riding and didn't get it. I told her when we got home, though, that in the future if I want to have a cup of coffee I am getting one - it wasn't a request - it was just letting her know I wanted to pull over.
The final straw took place recently when we were at her friends' home one day/evening. I had only met them once before briefly but I did my best to be attentive, kind, charming, and engaged for the 5 hours we were there. At one point, with just a few minutes to go before we left, I found myself sitting off to the side with no one talking to me or even looking at me, so I checked my phone to see if I had any messages. I must have looked at it for 3 minutes tops.
When we got home later she lit into me saying how embarrassed she was that I checked my phone and how rude of me to do so in her friends' home!
I said to her the other night that I feel like I am living in a minefield lately and that I need her to lay off for a couple of weeks because it's driving me crazy. She seemed dumbstruck and asked me, "How will I get credit if I don't point out your mistakes?".
I replied, "What do you want credit for? Allowing me to be imperfect? Allowing me to be a human being?"
She didn't know what to say. And I don't know what to think of someone who wants credit for NOT disciplining me or nagging me when she feels I am did something wrong.
Please advise.
Thank you.
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now. She has her quirks just like everyone else (for example - when she goes to bed she puts in ear plugs, wears noise-canceling headphones, a mask over her eyes and does not want any physical contact whatsoever so I have to stay far over on my side of the bed).
To be fair, I have my quirks/faults/shortcomings too. I can be impatient at times and I struggle with communicating my feelings. She tells me I don't act my age and that I'm not as "intellectually stimulating" as she'd like me to be. (To which I want to say, you didn't meet me in a science laboratory, you met me in a dance class.)
The problem is that lately, her nagging is relentless and unending. If I miss a spot in a pot that I cleaned, she shows it to me. If I don't clean a glass well enough she complains so I have to clean it again. BTW, we don't live together - this just happens when I stay over her place.
We were out for a bike ride one night when I asked if she minded if we pull over so I could buy a cup of coffee because I was cold. She told me that she DID mind! Like a fool, I kept riding and didn't get it. I told her when we got home, though, that in the future if I want to have a cup of coffee I am getting one - it wasn't a request - it was just letting her know I wanted to pull over.
The final straw took place recently when we were at her friends' home one day/evening. I had only met them once before briefly but I did my best to be attentive, kind, charming, and engaged for the 5 hours we were there. At one point, with just a few minutes to go before we left, I found myself sitting off to the side with no one talking to me or even looking at me, so I checked my phone to see if I had any messages. I must have looked at it for 3 minutes tops.
When we got home later she lit into me saying how embarrassed she was that I checked my phone and how rude of me to do so in her friends' home!
I said to her the other night that I feel like I am living in a minefield lately and that I need her to lay off for a couple of weeks because it's driving me crazy. She seemed dumbstruck and asked me, "How will I get credit if I don't point out your mistakes?".
I replied, "What do you want credit for? Allowing me to be imperfect? Allowing me to be a human being?"
She didn't know what to say. And I don't know what to think of someone who wants credit for NOT disciplining me or nagging me when she feels I am did something wrong.
Please advise.
Thank you.
Best Answer
stewart, read through your post. It's a bit silly that you keep up with this relationship.
In life, if you pick the best partner you can attract, and hang out with the nicest friends you can find, your life will be much better than hanging with someone who damages you on purpose.
In life, if you pick the best partner you can attract, and hang out with the nicest friends you can find, your life will be much better than hanging with someone who damages you on purpose.
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