Hello and thank you in advance for reading my post and possibly helping me with my problem.
I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now. She has her quirks just like everyone else (for example - when she goes to bed she puts in ear plugs, wears noise-canceling headphones, a mask over her eyes and does not want any physical contact whatsoever so I have to stay far over on my side of the bed).
To be fair, I have my quirks/faults/shortcomings too. I can be impatient at times and I struggle with communicating my feelings. She tells me I don't act my age and that I'm not as "intellectually stimulating" as she'd like me to be. (To which I want to say, you didn't meet me in a science laboratory, you met me in a dance class.)
The problem is that lately, her nagging is relentless and unending. If I miss a spot in a pot that I cleaned, she shows it to me. If I don't clean a glass well enough she complains so I have to clean it again. BTW, we don't live together - this just happens when I stay over her place.
We were out for a bike ride one night when I asked if she minded if we pull over so I could buy a cup of coffee because I was cold. She told me that she DID mind! Like a fool, I kept riding and didn't get it. I told her when we got home, though, that in the future if I want to have a cup of coffee I am getting one - it wasn't a request - it was just letting her know I wanted to pull over.
The final straw took place recently when we were at her friends' home one day/evening. I had only met them once before briefly but I did my best to be attentive, kind, charming, and engaged for the 5 hours we were there. At one point, with just a few minutes to go before we left, I found myself sitting off to the side with no one talking to me or even looking at me, so I checked my phone to see if I had any messages. I must have looked at it for 3 minutes tops.
When we got home later she lit into me saying how embarrassed she was that I checked my phone and how rude of me to do so in her friends' home!
I said to her the other night that I feel like I am living in a minefield lately and that I need her to lay off for a couple of weeks because it's driving me crazy. She seemed dumbstruck and asked me, "How will I get credit if I don't point out your mistakes?".
I replied, "What do you want credit for? Allowing me to be imperfect? Allowing me to be a human being?"
She didn't know what to say. And I don't know what to think of someone who wants credit for NOT disciplining me or nagging me when she feels I am did something wrong.
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