???
Not sure I understand your reply to me. I had asked why you say two very different things about his age. Just struck me as kind of odd.
If he were single I would not date him, just out of preference
and I would NEVER get in between a man and his wife. Wether he want's to or not that is HIS choice but I will not be HELPING anyone destroy their marriage
No that's not his real name, It just a nickname I gave him during the time we were "Close" and I know it was inappropriate already:) no use telling me that over and over.
I say "How Dare You" because he has a wife that he lied about...and my dad actually did the same thing to my mother, with his secretary.. :(
and If I were to tell his wife, I don't know who she is, let alone do I know where he lives.. He lied about his life...
I also am leaving by the end of the month and will make no more mistakes such as this.
If I were to go any further with that, it wouldn't get very much attention. I an ADULT ..ALLOWED it and it's not like I was running from him, the notes don't bother me.
I have told him to "buzz off" and such, he's back-down alot but still the romantic love letters land on my table every blue moon, the letters aren't much of a bother, it's just the fact that since I refuse to let anything else continue he's attitude towards me is ridiculous. (Very Unfair)
"Mr. Matthews?" Is that the man's name? If so, you really shouldn't be using real names here.
Sorry, but this is NO sexual harrassment. Your case would not even be considered since this was consensual UNTIL you found out he was married and older.....then the passion was GONE.
Actually, you both acted in poor taste.....used bad judgement and technically you both should be suspended or fire as this is GROUNDS for discharge. This facility shouldn't be used for "hook-ups" but for taking care of patients.
You've mixed business with pleasure with DISASTROUS results as to be expected.
How to resolve this? Good question.
I would assume tell him you will tell his wife EVERYTHING and see if that doesn't end the love letters.
I am not sure how you expect to keep working there and him being able to treat you professionally and fair after this. You may need to find another job and start anew.
How dare he? What did he do that you didn't want? I am not sure how you can say "how dare you."
3 things: Don't get involved with co-workers
Find out who you are dealing with BEFORE getting physicial,
i.e. fonding, kissing, touching
Don't use the workplace for hookups
I will agree with RockRose on this.
He told me his age (4 year older than I) said he was single..yadda...yadda
By the way I am 22. he's 33 .. to much of a gap for myself, and I could never ruin a marriage
Hmmmm, which is it? Why the discrepancy here?
In this day and age of such a litigious society, I guarantee he'd get severely reprimanded if not fired. While she was a willing participant, there are many companies that do indeed have some strict rules regarding such interaction. Why? It leaves them open to a lawsuit. Any woman can say that they felt awkward and like they had to go through with it due to the person being their superior. And of course a man could feel the same way. While this poster makes it clear she thought he was hot and was going to go for it, it wouldn't be hard at all for her to change her story and that is why many companies have policies regarding supervisors and this type of interaction.
My husband had two managers let go. One accidentally sent an explicit picture out to his whole team (naked woman in a sexual act) -- he was buddies with one guy on his team and meant to just send it to him and he sent it out to the whole 'group email'. Fired for it. The other told sexually oriented jokes at a dinner with a female coworker and my husband. The female complained--- my husband had to tell the truth that the guy did tell the jokes, he got fired for it. Neither were sexual harassment but against policies surrounding what managers can and can't do with female employees.
Anyway, I'd make him very aware that she could indeed stall his career (as such a complaint whether he gets fired for it or not) would.
good luck to the poster.
typo:
I meant to say it's likely that You will NOT be taken advantage in this way again.
What a dog!!
I'm sorry this happened to You but You are so much more aware now and it's likely that You will be taken advantage in this way again. I don't mean You should become cynical but Your eyes are a little more wide open now and that will be a benefit.
That being said,
I consider His continued persuance of You as harrassment. Harrassment can be about unwanted "touching" of course - but it can be harrassment even if there is no "touching" - unwanted "love letters" from a married man IS harrassment!!
I would simply tell Him to leave You alone and that You will report Him if He attempts any further contact with You.
good luck
I don't believe it's sexual harassment either, since you were fine with it until you discovered he was married. His advances weren't in fact, unwelcome or rebuffed in any way, but actually encouraged.
Here's an article that explores supervisor sexual harassment. Unless he continues to ask for gropies again, what he did isn't harassment under the law.
http://www.propublica.org/blog/item/supervisors-and-sexual-harassment-the-laws-murkier-than-you-think
Yes, it is sexual harassment. The issue is he is your superior and it is inappropriate for him to make ANY advances to you whether you were into it or not. He'd get fired just about anywhere he works for that.
AND, he's lied to you. You should be disgusted with him as he is a pig. I'd do one of two things--- call human resources and tell them what you wrote here OR tell him to buzz off and if he does one thing again inappropriate that you will report him.
There are plenty of handsome single guys. Stick with that. This guy is a creep. peace and luck
It is any unwanted advances/words/notes. In todays work place even a look can get you in trouble. But what he is doing is clear cut harrassment.
I dont believe it's sexual harrassment although I allowed him to touch me before, and he has not touched me since then..just love letters
Well what he is doing is called harrasment. You could report him to his boss.