My Boyfriend is Addicted to Porn

[sammie_s]

Okay my question is this.  I have been with this guy for a year and a half.  I didn't really know anything about him when we got together and about four months after we were together I realized things had gotten weird in the relationship.  Then one day I heard noises from the other room; sexual noises.  I got really upset because I knew what was going on after a few minutes.  I ended up in tears and didn't have the courage to confront him.  I finally did confront him about some pictures of his ex and the porn I found.  He said he watched it for education.  I knew better but I believed him.  Well, it has gotten really bad.  I finally broke down and told him if he wanted to watch it then he could at least include me in on it.  I thought that would keep him from lying to me and going behind my back.  It hasn't.  I asked him about it one day when I got home from running his errands and he denied it but I am positive that's what he was doing.  He downloads something new every day or at least every day he knows I am at work and probably won't see it.  It really bothers me that he has to lie to me about it.  Then when we do anything together I feel like a used rag doll after.  He tells me he loves me so why does he lie to me and make me feel like ****.  I have told him it makes me feel bad about myself and it's like he doesn't care.  I am to the point that I am ready to leave.  Should I just pack my stuff and get out?  I mean he obviously isn't going to change and it hurts me everyday I find more.  I need some real help here.

[slow_healer]

ouch! That would definitely frustrate me too. I would try talk about this and emphasize how it is making you feel, and that you're thinking of leaving because of that (though it looks like you've already tried this). I hate giving ultimatums, but it doesn't sound like he is giving you much reassurrance or respecting your feelings (esp if it's porn of his ex!!! that would make any woman feel insecure!).

"I love you" doesn't mean much if you don't *feel* it.

If you leave, don't feel petty about it because it's over sex. It's over his feelings and respect for you. As you've mentioned, he continues to lie about this. I wouldn't bother with someone who lied to me over little things - I'd be inclined not to trust them with bigger things. And that doesn't make for a very good relationship or a partner. Good luck!

[anxiousmomtobe?]

You need to make him understand that this is a deal breaker and that you cannot acccept this behavior.  If he cannot or will not change, leave.

[RockRose]

Sammie,  what steps would you have to take to move out?  Have you signed a long lease on the apartment,  or do you not have any money at all saved up,  etc., or is there any other concrete reason you can't leave now?

I saw your post down the board about wanting to possibly join the Peace Corps, which is a really cool idea,  but it almost sounds like that's more of a barrier to leaving because it's a "grand plan".  All you need now is a little teeny plan - find an apartment,  and move out,  and then get on with grander goals.

Best wishes.  

[sammie_s]

You hit the right spot about me leaving now.  I don't have any money saved up and we are behind on all our bills together.  I am not the type of person that can leave someone with that kind of burden.  I want to stay long enough to help him catch up on the bills.  It is killing me staying here though.  I only have an aunt that lives here and she is helping as much as possible but I have already borrowed so much from her.  My family is all in Ohio and they all want me to move up there but they can't afford to send me the money to get up there.  My intentions are to move up there as soon as I get my income tax returns back because that will be enough to catch up on what I haven't already and still make it up there.  I have no car and no one to turn to down here.  I don't blame anyone but myself for the situation I am in.  I should have gotten to know the guy I am with better before I started dating him and moved in with him but I didn't.  I could have left him a long time ago but I stayed hoping things would get better and hoping I would find a solution.  When I saw this forum I just had to see what complete strangers would tell me about the situation as my very last resort at saving my relationship.  I can see now that there is no saving it as long as I feel the way I do and he is not willing to change for me.  Thanks to everyone though for your advise.  Now I am just playing the waiting game.

[pertykitty]

sammie some porn sites are costly im guessing. not everything is for free. are you behind because of HIS careless manner? you are miserable and you dont need to consider the feelings of him, when he isnt considering yours. maybe im cold, but all it is going to do is cause you more pain and misery. if your name isnt on these bills, and he cant pin them on you get out.

[sammie_s]

I know I need to get out.  I just can't leave him with so much debt when some of it is due to me.  I was the one out of a job for two months.  The porn isn't the reason that we have no money.  I know that for sure because I share the his bank account and such.  He downloads all of it from free sites.  I do intend on leaving as soon as I can though.

[sk2006a]

good for you!  i'm sure your familiy will love to have you move back.  good luck.

[Tassie Angel]

After reading your about your problem I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.  I have been in a similar situation for almost 6 years but my boyfriend tries to cheat on me time and time again by sending text messages and giving his phone number to other woman. We also are in a lot of debt and I am unable to leave as I have no available money to do so and wont have for some time as I have recently had to upgrade my car which has put me behind even more.  I feel trapped and stupid for letting myself fall for someone I hardly knew.  I understand what you are going through and how you are feeling as I feel the same way except I don't have any children which I'm worried I will never have if I don't get out as soon as possible.  My work life and health have suffered dramatically and I spend most of my time alone at home as anyone I talk to tells me to leave and it's not as simple as that therefore I shut them out now.  I know you understand.  Take care and be strong! :)

[MissRambo]

I know exactly what you are going through. My fiance has a very strong porn obsession. And I have felt numerous times that I come second, almost like I am a "rag doll." But as the months have passed, I have learned that his porn obsession isn't as bad as I thought. Atleast he is still being intimate with you, which shows that even though he has a porn addiction, you still arouse him and he still cares about you. However, if you find that while you are being intimate, he seems preoccupied or uninterested, then I would be a little concerned. And in that case, I would confront him head on and if he cannot understand or change his lifestyle, I would end the relationship. Because obviously, he is making you uncomfortable.

Good luck and best wishes!


MissRambo : )

[Bristolthapistol]

Hey,
I've been with my boyfriend for only 5 months now. He is very quiet about everything it seems, I feel like I don't know him sometimes. I got on his computer for the first time a couple weeks ago, and felt as if he was hiding something, or there'd be something I wouldn't like on there.
I browsed through his pictures and found an album called "jennifer", his ex... with nothing but pictures of her. He has a beautiful daughter with her, and they are no longer together. Anyways, in this album I found quite a few naked photos of her. I threw up...it made me feel disgusted with him. Why would he still have that on his comp? So my head tells me he "whacks off" and thinks of her, or looks at her pics. The thing is porn is okay with me, if you limit yourself....he looks a lot. And now that I feel I can't trust him, I don't want to move in . I'm supposed to move in at the end of this month. When he tells me he looked at porn, he usually looks like he feels guilty... Which obviously says he feels he's doing something wrong...All I know is I don't like who I'm getting to know. Trouble is, I'm pregnant now. And things have been really different now...he looks at more porn as well!
Ugh...Men are worthless

[Bristolthapistol]

Also,
I found out that he had cheated on his last long term relationship with his ex!
So.....I obviously don't trust him.

[sirgregory1st]

Below is what I answered to a similar post on another page but first off I would like to say your case may be different depending on what you meant by making you feel like ****.  This maybe more of an issue of him just being a jerk than a problem with porn and maybe you have made your choice (which I address in the last few sentences) but in case he is not just a jerk and this is about porn this may help you or someone else who googles this. again this is from another post similar to yours not a direct response to your particular situation but maybe it can help.
I would like to say I'm an Addictions Counselor, that being said porn addiction is greatly being considered much more of a compulsion than an addiction but for this conversation (since I'm not getting paid and about to give my personal opinion we will call it addiction for the sake of argument)
People who are addicted to anything "Lie" and you are in denial or maybe lying yourself AND him if you say "the porn doesn't matter the lying does", the porn is the problem otherwise you wouldn't say "other than that he is perfect for me" or he would lie about other things.
You say its the lying because its easier to defend that view point than that its the porn that matters. but realistically you backed him in the corner of course he's going to lie.
As far as you having morals... morals are personal rules we try our best to live by not rules we try to force on our spouse. that being said your boyfriend has a lying moral and not a porn moral that you have, that's why you turn this into a lying thing, a very intricate manipulation mastered by some of the woman above i see, If you do it right you can unknowingly manipulate someone into a situation where they lie and I see that here so yes i am saying it is your fault he is lying.  have you ever said you were going on a diet? did you slip back or eat chocolate, were you lying about the diet? now imagine if you ate chocolate and you boyfriend freaked out and was very devastated if you slipped on the diet. even worse if when you slipped you felt so bad you gave up and ate whatever you wanted. imagine if he said you were never allowed to eat chocolate again ever, (or pizza, or burgers, or french fries and ice cream, ever) most would say he was a "bad" man for controlling you and not accepting you the way you are. If he expected you at a certain weight and you just couldn't maintain it, the guilt would be bad, if you really loved him and didn't want to loose him, chances are you would not bring it up and maybe lie in fear you would anger him or loose him.
Yes food addiction/ compulsion is a problem much related to the areas of the brain that sex addiction/ porn addiction is. the guilt is the same, the social stigma in many cases is worse for the porn addict. however I'm still not convinced he is a porn "addict". if it causes problems at work (late, tired from staying up all night) or loose jobs, if it causes legal problems, financial problems, if he is masturbating excessively (like 5-10x a day), if it has steadily increased (tolerance), withdrawal, looking longer than he intended, giving up responsibilities, leisure activities.. etc then its a problem, if he does it on his own personal time and it causes no problems for him other than you get angry, then its not an addiction, maybe abusing porn but not an addiction. in the case it is an addiction then you should have a third party help him with it not you. you trying to get him to stop is like discussing a penis problem with your mom... if your mom asks you about a penis problem, you just lie and that's there is all there is to it. true addictions are not the fault of the addict (people gave that thought up once we figured out some brain chemistry quite a few yrs back). however it can be worked through just not by you and you watching over him will probably increase guilt and increase the need for the porn.
NOW, (deep breath) if its not an addiction.
I find it funny that you want to be mad about the lying that is your fault and not be mad at the porn which has nothing to do with you. anyway you have to understand that most males don't seek porn because anything is wrong in the relationship, they seek it because men are visually stimulated creatures, porn literally turns them on in ways that most females can not understand, just as women are emotionally sexual creatures and holding them, loving them and loveingly caressing them turn them on in ways men rarely understand. Some women think that if a guy likes porn then they are not enough for them and this, time and again has proven Not to be the case and so so often tends to be a personal issue and an esteem issue that anger and ultimatums tend to worsen than improve.
God, I need to write book instead of replying on here, but my advice for you is no you are not wrong for forgiving him, yes you are wrong for playing a guilt card because that makes it worse, the bottom line is that if it is a problem for him then he needs to seek out help for it but not from you, if it is your problem that he looks at porn then you need to seek help not from him. Remember the two statements are quite equally false "if he loves me enough he will stop" and "if she loves me enough she will live with it". You can only change one person in the world and it is yourself, you have the choice to live with it, to leave him or to be supportive of him if he decides to quit for himself (which tends to be a time between relapses gets bigger and bigger, not a quit today type of thing) but to think he will not lie about it to you is unreasonable and you will see this behavior repeated if you expect him to just "stop" or apply guilt to this problem. but whatever you decide has to come from you, you will not find the answers on here, no one know how much you two love each other, how much you are willing to stand by him even if he does slip up, or how much warped harm his behaviors will have on your (seeming fragile) self esteem trying to accept him for how he is.  

now about leaving, if that's what you have decided, you must just do it. time and time again I talk to women in your position who have decided to leave and put it off but when they do, they say it was hard but wish they would have just DONE it long ago. if you have made the decision then do it. figure out the rest later, figure out where you are going, what you are doing today, the longer you put if off the longer you will regret waiting. plus the hardest thing for a guy to deal with after you do leave is how long has she wanted to leave but didn't. if you want to leave, do him a favor and yourself one and go, its never as hard as you expect it to be.

[scwendli]

I would like to disagree with the previous post. I understand you are a counselor and I competely respect your opinion but I believe that pornography addiction is this: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 1/2 years and he is addicted to pornography. We are both in college and he has struggled with this addiction since he was in middle school. We are long distance which makes this even harder. I am not trying to make excuses for him though. He does not buy porn or go to strip clubs or even look at magazines. He looks at pictures/videos of women online through downloading or facebook or just a google search. on his own time when he is alone. In the past it has affected his grades. It is the biggest problem in our relationship because I feel used and that I am not worth it. I know that that mentality is wrong but I do not know what else to think. I have come to the end and I decided to see a counselor at my school and I spoke to the addiction specialist as well. They gave me some great information that I must give him an ultimatium. He must see a counselor because he will be up at school all summer. I am monitoring the software set up on his computer that emails me and tells me exactly what he is looking at. (covenant eyes, if you want a free software check out xxxchurch.com) I told him that he must find a way to fix this or I am done. It has been a few weeks and so far so good but I have gotten my hopes up before and they were shut down. So basically, pornogrpahy addiction is when a man looks at a naked women with lust and is turned on and masturbates to it. It is mental adultery and it is unacceptable to me in my relationship.

[lcheeta22]

i totally agree with you in everything you said. I have been with my boyfriend for 9yrs and he's never stopped.  He puts off going to school and so many other things because this is all he does on his spare time. I got to the point were i decided to give in to some of my sexual pleasures too because of it. I ended up cheating twice, and told him about it to make matters worse. So, now he won't get over that and uses it as an excuse. I feel we've lost all respect for each other...although i know we have history and truly love each other unconditionally....i'm not sure if it's worth continuing?? He's also confessed to having been flirtatious with other girls at his job in the past, and fantasizing about having sex with them, but he says he'd never take it to that extent of actually doing it.  Is this reason enough to suspect that he would definitely cheat on me on a given opportunity?
i want to leave him but one of my biggest fears is that i'll end up with another person just like him or worse...or that i'll be alone for the rest of my life....Am I going to attract the same type of guy over and over again because i may be the root to the problem?
i want to leave him but i want to make sure i'm making the right decision before i do. The worst thing about this whole thing is that he google "teen porn" or "teenies" ???? and he's 28...He seems like the type that will drop you and head for a younger one as soon as you hit ripe age and he is no longer visually stimulated by your appearance, but then again who am i to judge???? help?

[Jennvball]

Did you end up leaving him?

I am in the same situation.  I love my bf and been with him for over 8 months.  I found soooo much porn and asian porn and butt porn and I am white and not into the butt stuff.  I found it on his computer after 2-3 months of dating by looking at his history.  It was every day like 20 websites and even right before I would come over.  He has always taken forever to get off, but I thought and he says that it has always been like that.  I believed him but I do think that b/c he watched porn so much, making love to just me doesn't cut it and afraid I will never satifiy him.  I give it to him every night.  It is not like I am deprieving him at all.  I am attactive and have a great body.  It has made me insecure now about myself and hate that.  

I told him how it makes me feel and that it is a deal breaker for me.  He said he loved me and it is worth giving up for me and said he was addicted to it and done it for over 13 years and his dad and bro did it as well.  He turned off his internet at his place and has made me feel guilty about taking that away from him and has resentment built up against me these past 5 months.  We almost broke up a few weeks ago b/c of the lack of intimacy and how he wasn't really affectionate to me.  We would do it but it was always about him getting off and from behind.  It was like he was watching a porn and that is what he thinks making love is.  It has gotten better the last 2 weeks, but I am afraid that he will go back to his old ways and if we ever do get married that I will deal with this the rest of my life.  

I am also afriad if I leave him that all guys will do it and deal with this again.  Maybe not to the extent to what he was doing, everyday even before I would come over to spend the night, but some. My ex fiance did it and upset me as well.  Any advise.  Am I crazy to think there are good, attractive guys who don't look at it?  

[brooke02h]

i am also in this sittuation i am 22 years old and i am 7months pregnant i have been dating this guy for a year and half we kinda rushed into it and we wanted a baby bad but anyways 4 months into the relationship he told me he was addicted to porn or excuse me used to be he tons of magazines and movies and i never thought nothing of it when he told me that i made him get rid of them and then things were ok well i started to snoop behind his back and found where he looked at porn online on his phone on tv and ordered it off paperview our satelitte got cut off because of it we broke up like 4 or five times when i found out i was pregnant i didnt want to be but we tried to work things out and jus recently he got outraged and hit me with a door and i am pregnant and he became socially withdrawn emotionally withdrawn from me and verbally as well as physically abusive the day after we broke up he was at the porno shop and for the next week he was there i dont know what to do either i loved him to death and wanted a family with him but i cant change him or help him so i know how u feel i totally lost on wat to do....but i left him and got out of there because if it gets to the point of abuse leave dont take any chances!!!

[j7653]

Just to give a guy's perspective...

Almost every single guy that I know likes to look at porn, including me.  That is the reality whether people like it or not.  The internet revolutionized it and made it too easy for us men to access for free in our own homes / apartments.  No need to go to the store or movie theater.

I used to look at / watch it in private until my wife finally complained that she didnt like it and that if I wanted to see it I should involve her.  Well at first I felt uncomfortable about it.  Something that I liked for myself I now had to share with her.  And I felt uncomfortable about her watching men.  But then the attraction to porn started to diminish a bit, as if it being out the open made it less fun.

Now I do still like to look at porn, but certainly not as much.  I dont push it in her face, but it isnt a huge secret either.  I dont look at it unless she is out or there is an understood agreement that "she is going to bed and I am not".

The thing is, I have a much higher sex drive than her.  She knows that I will hold out and not look at it if I think there is the slightest chance that we are going to fool around.  And she knows that I would take her any time of the day over it and throw it out in a second if I have the chance.

  

[thelittlethings]

I would leave him just for the porn alone.  Everything on top of that is ridiculous.  He is lying, he is disrespecting you.  And he has naked pix of his ex?  That is bull sh*t!!  And it doesn't sound like he will ever change.  If it's not something you can see yourself living with for the rest of your life then get out of there.  Stop wasting your time on something that is only hurting you.  He may say he loves you, but actions speak louder than words and his actions say differently.  Love is healthy.  What you are in is not healthy.  Not only is it hurting your feelings but it is making you feel bad about yourself.  Don't EVER let someone else make you doubt yourself.  Get out of there, and fast.

[linday1123]

Same here. I have been living with that guy for 8 years! I am 27 yrs old now. In the first few years, i found out that he watched porn alone and try to hide it from me in his PC. When i found out, i asked him how could you done this to me. He swear to god said he won't do it again but with no explaination. but sadly, he just won't change, he did it again and again...my heart is just like a broken glassess. I forgave him so many times. I  broken his PC and bend him for using PC for like 3 yrs.And  i explained to him, i felt disrepect, hurt and disappointed and told him i cannot find a way to myself to accept your habbit. He said he know and will change. This year, i let him having his own PC back as i think we are not teen now, he should learn how to control himself and i kinda forgot what he done and trust him...but then after couple of months, i caught him watching porn just next door to me at the very early morning...if he get bored on my body, why don't he just meet some girl out there???!!! If he think this is just for fun, why he can't think about my feeling before he did it...i asked him so many hundred times, but he don't give me an answer and sometime he will get angry ...

I don't really think i can lives with this guy in my rest of life as he is not reliable...how can i bet whole of my life on him...i am 27 yrs old, i still have chance to meet someone nice and really love me. But the problem is, we both need to pay the mortgage and the property is under his name. And also i have been with him since i was 19...i get used to it...if because of that (porn), i leave him....am i right? i am not very sure do i love him or not or does he love me or may be we have been together 8 years...might be we just forgot what is Love and respect. If i still be with him, i am sure i won't respect him anymore...or that the things he did will struck in my heart a long time...will we both happy for that?

What should i do? Please....

[j7653]

I commented previously and told you that almost every single guy I know looks at porn on the internet.  I suppose you can find a guy that does not if that is the number one criteria by which you search out your mates.  But that would be a pretty narrow requirement.

I do not consider looking at porn cheating, nor does my wife.  And I dont think that most of my friends (male or female / single or married) think it is cheating either.  What you have described above might be getting excessive and should be reduced a little or a lot.

The point is, if you leave your boyfriends / husbands, it is extremely likely that the next guy you find will also like to look at porn.  And the next guy, and the next guy, .....

I think you will have a very hard time finding a man that satisfys your requirements.  I think you are better off working with your man and yourself (with counseling if necessary) to understand each other better and find a middle ground.

[katiem1985]

I have been having a similar problem, i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and he cheated on me when we were together for about 6 months. he swears they only made out but he was gone till 5 in the morning so i am not really 100% sure nor will i ever be. i forgave him because i have never been with a guy that was so nice to me and treated me so well, until recently i moved in with him i found out that he was on all these porn sites online and so i just decided maybe we should have more sex so he stops! so i got mad at him and ended up just having sex with him 4 times that day only for the next day to have him look on sites again and delete the history! i asked him about it and he just said it was a habit he has been doing it for so long now!! i am sooo annoyed i just can't see how i could yell at him one day try to fulfill his needs more then have him do it again the next day! i feel like its so disrespectful and i am still sooo mad!!

[Island_Girl90]

Unfortunately I find myself in a similar situation as some of the girls above. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. But he has always lied to me. It started with smoking and now it's porn. He looks at it several times a day on his phone. He used to use the laptop to but I blocked all the websites. Now I fear I've driven him underground with it because he constantly takes his phone to the bathroom for long periods of time. I don't know what to do. It makes me feel disgusted at him and angry at myself for not satsifying him, Before I found the porn on the laptop I thought we had a brilliant sex life. I'm adventurous and I always try to please him. I've told him how this makes me feel but he just gets so angry at me or lies blatantly and says he doesn't anymore. But he has lied so much that I know now when he isn't telling the truth. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this for fear of his reaction and my embarassment at admitting his addiction in case my friends think he is a pervert or blame me. I understand most guys look at it but he looks at it excessively and then shouts at me when I confront him about it. I don't want to leave but I feel if he can be dishonest about this then what else is he lying to me about? I even saw on the web history once that he had been on an amateur sex webchat which in my mind is as good as infidelity, I'm so lost and I don't know if we can fix this anymore

[nived]

So your bf or ex or what evey he is is*as im sure we all agree on this*a loser. and for the money problem id be more than willing to lend you as much as i can to get you away from him so that you can get back to YOUR life and find a guy who will love and treat you the way you should be without all the lies and the stupid porn. really..what is the point to porn anyways? ive gone my whole life without it and like idk it doesn bother me. I will admit im not the perfect guy, my ex left me again for the 12th time due to the fact that i couldnt get over a recent event that happend in my life and lost some dear people to me. Also i know i said he is a loser*and he is*but there is that possablity he might have a sex addictions and needs to get help for it. It could be from hes hormons and that could get  bit out of hand. If the loser doesnt change at all or admit that he has a problem by the time you have the money to leave*again i will be more than willing to help pay your share of the bills and get you the hell away from him*and trys to change it at all leave..leave far away. if u have to ask someone of a loan. dont feel bad about it there are people here*im sure all of us who have posted here*who want to help in anyway there is. Til then just hang in there cause the hell has almost passed and rember."You have to be brought down in order to be built better than before"

[nived]

leave em...if there not happy wit the meaning that sex has to those who do it for the right reason then there not worth it. most likly they just want sex sex and more sex and that gonna cause alot of problems for you. Ask your self this. what if u have sex wit em and get preg-o? and then they leave? what then? *forgive me if i sound like a jerk* but please think about it. there are guys who want to just spend time with someone.like going to a movie or just being able to hold you. hell even start a family. but whatever you do DO NOT BLAME YOURSELFS you did nothing wrong i promise you all that. and dont give up on finding that one who treats you the right way. i promise hes out there.

[broke123]

I will be the only girl on here to say that there is nothing wrong with your man looking at porn!

First of all, stop snooping on your man’s computers! If you trust him not to cheat, then there is no reason for it, and if you don’t trust him, then that relationship will fail anyways, so leave. Not once in my life have I snoped around my bf’s phone or computer, it’s personal, I wouldn’t want them to check on me, so I don’t check on them. When you get married it doesn’t mean you should surrender all personal space to your spouse. If your relationship is other wise good, why look for problems?

Second of all, how insecure are you??? Guys look at other girls having sex on their computers, so what?? They are not touching them! And they never will. It’s called a fantasy. None of you ever fantasized about a hot guy? Ever? Most guys wouldn’t want to have sex with a porn star anyway, or date one, as they want their woman to be “clean” (by clean I mean not a 100 sex partners) and only belong to them. But they do get turned on by watching it, and masturbate privately. They are not hurting anyone! Women allow themselves to be hurt by this when they make it about themselves. It’s not about you. It’s about your mans private world. Everyone should have some privacy left, at least in their own heads. So stop being so insecure and think that you are unattractive if your man watches porn, it really has nothing to do with you and is not a reflection on your looks.

If your man stopped having sex with you and prefers to watch porn alone THEN you should worry. But only then.

If your relationship is perfect in every way, except for the porn thing, then it’s not a problem at all.

If you want a guy who has never laid eyes on porn and will never be interested in it, I suggest to look for a man that is Amish or is crazy religious and views porn as a sin.
Looking up “teen” porn doesn’t mean his a *********. Porn has many categories, you have to be 18 to legally do porn and if its up on a website those girls ARE 18. Of course there is ton of illegal porn out there and if a guy is looking at kiddie porn, then you definetly should worry. “teen” just means younger looking girls. Would you want to see senior citizens have sex? I wouldn’t. And again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t find you (his gf or wife) attractive anymore. For example, I LOVE my car, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like to look at the new shiny expensive models and say “wow”.

For the original poster – disconnect you cable, internet and phone. Financial and porn problem solved. Plus since there will be nothing else to do at home, you will be forced to spend quality time together without other distractions and maybe will see each other in a new light and maybe will rebound.

I know my post will bring h ell on me, but I’m sticking to my opinion. There is nothing wrong with looking at porn!

[mellybellysmelly]

porn is gross!!!!! i feel like im getting sloppy seconds if he watches porn before we hang out and do u know what we do..its not fair, guys and girls that watch porn are pathetic!!! get a life do something creative or something active instead of sitting in fron of a computer masterbating (masturbating)...get a life..seriously im in a relationship now where he watches porn maybe like 4 days out of the week..4 DAYS thatts so wrong, honestly it is a kind of cheating because hes thinking of sticking his **** in the porno ****..hes mentally cheating, im sorry but i kno for damn sure if i was doing some **** like that he would bug the **** out..he would feel like how i feel...porn doesnt turn me on..my bf does i dont need to look at some other guys ****, grow up i culd understand if its a little boy in puberty but other then that grow the **** up,,

[mellybellysmelly]

My Bad about my spelling my keyboard is ****** up....
**** PORN ITS ****** GROSSSSS
it ruins relationships and marriages if someone truely loves you they wouldnt have to look at naked people..i would never my boyfriend is the center of my world hes the only one i day dream about and fantize ..idk maybe i need to cut the **** out because theres nobody i ever known that is even close to being like me. im so faithful loyal loving caring nice all the time never bitchy or cranky.. seems to me like im the perfect girl i never seem to find the perfect guy, my guy is perfect the only bad thing is the porno..i wouldn't even get as mad if he limited it but the fact that he watches it 4 or 3 even 5 times out of the week that hurts me deeply i couldnt understand if i was away and not around for a week or on vacation i dont mind then because i rather him jerk off then actually stick his **** in some ******* vagina im very lenient but he still cant control himself and limit himself..hmm i wonder when he does have sex with me is he thinking about those porno Sluts probably yeah, w,e what goes around comes around.