My Step dad hates me and i hate him

[Ajbun]

I always feel like i am not wanted around the house when he is around. He is very mean and orders me and my younger sister around (She is 11 years old, I am 14.)  My step dad did not legally adopt any of us kids yet, ( My older sis she is 21 and moved out, my big brother who is 19 and still lives here, and me and my little sis) I figure it's because he doesn't care about us and would much rather spend the money on something else. We are pretty poor, my mom is going to massage therapist collage and my step dad is an over the road truck driver, he makes a lot of money, but he spend practically double what he makes and keeps getting cash advances from his boss and/or getting loans. My mom is very busy and i feel like she doesn't have time for me or my sister. She is very nice and i love her very much, but sometimes we get into fights (like normal mothers and their daughters) and we always make up pretty fast. But whenever my step dad is around i feel like i can't talk and especially can not express my opinion. He is always talking bad about me to my mom and telling her that i hate him, i can hear really good, i went to the doctor and everything and he just said i can hear better then most people. I can hear my step dad talking about me to my mom mostly and sometimes to my siblings, and it makes me feel very sad and unwanted. My mom and step dad have been married for 6 years now and every year it seems to get worse. Lately i have been having bad dreams about either my step dad only or my whole family. Just last night i had a dream that my family was at a party and my step dad was going to take a picture of my mom and instead he took a video of me and my sister and i asked him to delete it and he did not say anything so i told my sis to tell him to delete it and he said "No, you are not the adult of the house."   Does anyone know what that dream might mean?  I often wonder if my step dad just picks on teenagers because he used to not be so mean to me but since i turned 12 he has been more and more rude. He is mean to my brother and is telling him he will be kicked out to live on the streets every other day practically. Also my step dad is a dog abuser, and i care a very extra amount about my dogs. We have three dogs, and one morning i woke up (this is when we only had 2 dogs) and i heard my dogs getting into a fight, and i opened my room door and i saw my dad literally beating on my dog in the rib area and holding her there by the fur on her neck, she was whimpering and trying to get away but he kept going, I couldn't even talk, i was trying to say "No! Stop!!" but all that came out was whispers. And my sister told me that previously before i woke up he swung the other big dog into the tv stand and broke the glass with her body, and even now she still has a small scar from when she got cut from some glass. That experience has traumatized me and i was very scared of him for a while since then. My mom complains all the time about how he is bad with money, even recently she told us she wanted to divorce him, and when i heard, i was actually happy. But now she changed her mind. (My other siblings were happy too.) My mom cares about me, i know she does, but recently (sometime this month) i told my mom how i felt like she cared about him more then me, and she said "Well, i probably do."  I feel like my step dad only cares about himself and is not fit to have a family and especially not kids or dogs. And i feel like my mom won't really listen. I told my mom that she will never understand.. because she won't. And she just agreed with me. I feel like i have nobody to talk to, and that my life should not be this hard.   Well, thank you for reading. Please leave a comment, i really need advice.

[specialmom]

What a hard position to be in.  Have you shared any of this with your mom?  

I also think you need an outlet.  If your mom doesn't move you out as Anniebrooke suggests, is there a school counselor, trusted adult, aunt, grandma, etc. that you can talk to?  

Even just to have an ear if you don't get to leave.

I do think that one thing important in horrible circumstances is an exit plan.  You are probably starting high school---  work VERY hard.  Get out of there at 18 when you can with a strong educational foundation to build on so you can work/go to school to support yourself hon.  

hugs, I'm sorry it is so hard

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, I am so sorry to read this, if it helps at all I hope you understand that life should not be this hard for children but it often is.  Your mother is letting down her end of the deal, she should be a good mother first and if she chooses a new husband, part of her choice of a husband should have been someone who cares about her children, and someone who is not financially irresponsible.  The fact that he is cruel to animals and to you should have been a total deal-breaker well before she married him.  Unfortunately, she seems to be sticking with her horrible choice over her own kids.  This is wrong on all levels, and you are not mistaken in thinking your life should not be so hard.

I assume you cannot move out to live with your oldest sibling?  Is there an aunt you can talk to about this, or a grandparent?  I would propose to my mother that you and your younger sibling move out, if there is a loving family member to take you in.

In the meantime, protect yourself and stay wary of this man.  Someone who will harm a pet will harm a child.