Aa
A
A
Close
Avatar universal
My boyfriend has a problem with my lack of virginity
Hey guys! So i recently found out that i'm the first girl that my boyfriends had sex with that wasn't a virgin. He broke down crying and apologizing. I thought he had done something wrong. This was the first time i'd ever seen him cry as he's a big football d-line player. When asked, he explained that he gets less attracted to me every time he thinks about my ex(that i dated for several years). I honestly feel like i'm falling for my boyfriend. He told me that every time he sees me naked or starts having sex with me he thinks about my ex being there first. This repulses me and hurts that instead of focusing on us during sex he's focusing on my ex's penis being there first. Is this normal? We've already made it through so much together. I want to fix it in some way so that he can focus on us and ultimately, improve our relationship and sex life. Please help in any way possible.
Cancel
5 Answers
Page 1 of 1
973741 tn?1342346373
Welcome to the forum.  Ugh.  Your boyfriend sounds extremely immature.  I married in my 30's and honestly, my now husband and I never even talked about our past sexual experience.  I think it is completely unfair for him to hold against you something you did when you weren't with him and you should be annoyed about it.  

Personally, if he is unwilling to get over it quickly and says he is repulsed by you, I'd move on.  He sounds like he has issues.  

good luck
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar universal
hi..totally agree with specialmom..it also seems your actually quite young also..., absolutely get rid if he repulses you...lets face it..not a happy story to tell your grandkids.., do you see it going the distance that much... i think not...if your seeking the strength to get rid..then  you have it...just get rid...do yourself justice and also let him move on too....
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
13167 tn?1327197724
I totally agree that you should move on.

This isn't going to get fixed.

As time goes on,  the chances that this guy will find yet ANOTHER virgin to have sex with and have a longer relationship with will diminish and somehow he'll have to come to terms with it - but my guess is,  he'll continue to make women miserable he's with.

If you were his first,  I'd understand this a tiny bit better.  As it is,  truly,  what an incredible hypocrite.

Move on - you'll find a guy who won't make you feel guilty.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar universal
If He expects/wants Virginity - why is it okay with Him that He's not a Virgin??  

and the Virgins He's been with are no longer Virgins....Shame on Him!!

Big Time Double Standard !!

In today's world Adult Virginity is almost unheard of - where does He find these Virgins?

I agree with the others about moving on.  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
1268057 tn?1462734870
Hon.....not much to do here but leave.  Don't try to stay to "fix him" or to "understand" him.  

He wants you to be a "virgin," but he isn't?  Sounds like he likes double standards.  

The ONLY thing you can do for him is give him the "boot" and the name/number of a therapist.  This isn't "normal" in my book.  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Your Answer
Avatar universal
Answer
Know how to answer? Tap here to leave your answer...
Answer
Submit Answer
A
A
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources