My boyfriend is addicted to porn continuation

[sammie_s]

My new problem is this:  I have had this friend since elementary school that I have always liked and he has always like me. We dated once in middle school and then again in high school. Both times I left him due to the circumstances around the relationship. I had some major things going on in my life both times we tried dating and I had very low self esteem.  I thought he deserved someone better. Well, I graduated high school a year early at a different high school then him. I ran into him a year after high school at the Christmas Parade.  We exchanged numbers and he came and stayed the night at my apartment. We made out all night but nothing more. Well, we lost touch again after that night. I guess once again I pushed him away. I have regretted not keeping in touch with him. The thing is that I think I still have feelings for him. I know where he lives and have his phone number but I can't ever seem to get a hold of him. I guess my question is should I continue trying to get a hold of him even though I am currently still with my boyfriend? I don't want to hurt him again but I think we could be happy together. It has been a year since I last talked to him and he may have a girlfriend now. I am not sure. I don't want to get into a relationship with him right away because of just getting out of this one but I want him to know that I want to keep in touch and that I do still have feelings for him.

[RockRose]

How did you "push him away"?  Did he attempt to contact you after the last time you got together?  

[sammie_s]

Yeah he and I continued talking a little bit but I didn't really ask him over.  I had to have surgery at that time and moved back in with my mom.  I started going out and doing stuff alone and we didn't talk much anymore.  I met the guy I am currently with a year after we had seen eachother.  I pushed him away the other times because of issues going on in my life.  I think I did it that time because I thought he deserved better.  He is a really terrific, sweet guy and I just didn't think we had anything in common and that he would be better off with someone else.  I don't have the best self esteem in the world but I have been working on it a lot.  The last time I talked to him was on my birthday last year.  He wasn't seeing anyone then and he was going to come to my party but I think he was apprehensive about seeing me with another guy.  I don't blame him at all.  It would have been the same if it were me in his shoes.