Im 23 and my boyfriend is 34. We have been dating for about a year. We used to have vaginal sex all the time and then I decided that I wanted to try anal sex. We both loved it. We would do it occasionally, usually after we had gone out for some drinks and felt a little less inhibited. He also loves oral sex...not so much giving it, but definitely receiving. It's gotten to a point now that it's either oral sex for his pleasure or anal sex. I never really get off, he doesn't make it a priority, which is okay for the most part because I really just like pleasing him. Its all starting to get on my nerves now though. The last time it happened we were messing around and I started positioning myself to where he could put it in vaginally, and he just stopped doing everything. He ended up getting soft but the lucky for him he regained some of his hard on and was able to finish. The next day I asked him if there was something wrong with my vagina...I said "does it smell or something? Or do I need to start doing some kegel exercises??" he said he was just tired. Blah. This isn't the first time it's been a problem and I'm sure won't be the last. Does he just like anal because it really is tighter, and does he love oral cause he can pretty much control what goes on? Or because ha...I am pretty good at it? Should I start giving weak *** head and say no no to the butt sex? Help!!!!!
Be careful with anal sex because you can damage the anus.It really wasn't designed for anything going up it.Some porn stars that engaged in several anal scenes have a condition called anal leakage now.There is nothing wrong with oral sex or vaginal but the anal sex might cause problems for you in the future.
I don't know what your situation is here, fitnessfreak, but be aware that when men are only willing to do oral and anal sex, and can't maintain an erection during vaginal sex are often covering for being gay. They're trying to live a straight life and so are fantasizing their way through heterosexual sex but they just can't do it with vaginal sex.
hi Fitness, your trying to please him so much that i think hes starting to loose his sensitivity to you and your needs. With anal sex it is tighter but also he does not have to look at you face to face as with vaginal. A clue to this is when you said that after a few drinks and felt less inhibited. This shows me that he is not that close to you and that there is a certain distance in your relationship as far as him be comfortable with some things. With the anal and oral, you are becoming just an object to him.
I think you might reflect on his true feelings for you. He is revealing part of who is really is.
Best of luck
A guy who doesn't place any stock in your needs is showing signs of selfishness and a lack of true caring about you. Regardless if he is covering for being gay as RockRose suggested, is doing it because it's tighter or he's in control, or any other reason, he is being selfish--especially if you've brought it up to him and told him you need to be pleased, too, that a relationship is a two-way street. It's not always going to be perfectly 50-50, but an effort needs to be there on BOTH people's parts.
You my need to consider walking away if this guy has such low regard for your needs, but try talking to him about it in a non-accusatory manner and see if he listens. If he doesn't, give yourself a timeline (NOT stated to him as people do not respond well to ultimatums) you are willing to give him to change things, and just walk.
I never really get off, he doesn't make it a priority, which is okay for the most part because I really just like pleasing him.
Herein lies the problem sweetie. The fact that it has been "okay" that you don't make your pleasure a priority as well. This is where feeling like an object comes in. Unfortunately, naturally he, unlike you does not share the same "pleasure" in pleasing you. There's a certain ambiguity here, that needs to be redefined, by YOU. You have to make your sex life more equal, or it will continue to get old, and your relationship will suffer, if you don't. Be brave and self confident, remember he is satisfied, and has everything to lose.
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