My boyfriend would rather watch porn than have sex!

[Want2giveup]

Okay, so I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now.  He is a single father of 4 kids!  He has them fulltime, so we are very busy.  The problem I'm having is that we hardly ever have sex!  He always uses the excuse we are busy with the kids, it's late, we don't have time, it's always something!  How can he find the time to watch so much porn?  We went three weeks without having sex!!!  I feel like he makes excuses or keeps busy to avoid having sex with me.  Even when we do, it's over pretty quickly!  In the past two weeks we have intercourse once and oral sex once!  I am soooo frustrated right now. He'll actually pull up porn videos and show them to me out of the blue on his iPhone.  I don't have a problem with porn, but I feel like it's replacing  our sex life!  I don't know what to do or if it's even worth trying anymore.

[LostGuy92]

While I am not one to give advice being my own world is being rocked right now.  If I may throw a guy perspective on it.

Porn is quick and easy.  However, I never once turned down sex.  Given kids are in the picture that might change things.  What I can do watching say 5 minutes of porn is easier then the 30 minutes or so of full intercourse.

The side of him asking if you said that before to someone else is we like to hear that we are better than the ex's and also that what we are getting told wasn't the same thing you told someone else.  

You don't talk about his age so I can't really say but have you had him check for a testosterone issue.  I have a low testosterone level myself so my life for being in my 20's isn't all sex all the time (which is good since my gf seems to think shes pregnant every time we have had sex).  But I have had my fair share of porn watching and even those light night times.  

[Want2giveup]

We have been together for 6 months!  This is suppose to be the hot and heavy times!  He says he's tired and it's usually late, but he can stay up late and watch porn?  He actually showed me a video on his iPhone of two girls going down on a guy.  The one girl did something and later on that day, out of the blue he asked me if I could do what she did!!!  We were actually at his daughters game.

I have mentioned it so many times.  I told him I don't mind porn.  We can watch it together, but we have only watched it once together.  I've said things to him during sex and he'll ask me, have you ever said that to anyone else?  He'll ask me if I ever did this or that with anyone else.  It's like he'd rather watch porn and be satisfied than have sex with me, or have me dress a little slutty and have fun together!  I just don't understand and I'm starting to wonder if there is something wrong with  me!

Thank you!

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well,  how long have you been together?  You've got a house full of kids and boy, that must be tiring.  I'm sure he is tired too.  Maybe porn is a quick and easy, no strings attached release----------- I don't know.  But I will tell you that it sounds like you two aren't compatible in the bedroom.  You are dating which doesn't mean it has to be forever.  So I guess I'd think long and hard if this is how you want to live.  Usually sex lives that during dating aren't fulfilling----------- well, they often stay that way or worse as the relationship goes on.  So think if you can live with that.

What does he say when you talk to him about it?  I'd also try open communication.  You can tell him you don't really mind the porn but you aren't satisfied with the frequency or duration of your sex life.  Ask him what you two can do about this.  See if it helps.

But--------------  leaving this relationship might not be a bad idea if he has no answer or makes no effort to work on this issue.  good luck