My friend's 13 year old daughter watches porn my friend doesn't know what to do?

[Lasharon]

I have a 33 year old friend who has a 13 year old daughter who watches porn. She says her daughter wont stop watching porn no matter what and that she can't stop her no matter how hard she tries. She says she watches it on the internet and prints it out and puts it in a backpack and saves it and she has a special lock and key for this which only she can get in there. She says she tried putting a pornography block on her internet but she threw a fit and got aggressive for this and started screaming why she put a block on her favorite sites online and stated that she's 13 and old enough to look at whatever she wants to on her internet. She somehow found a way to take the block off. My friend doesn't want her daughter looking at porn at her age but her daughter wont stop and nothing she tried works what can she do?

[Lasharon]

that's right the mother is letting the daughter pull all the plugs and get her way when she should take action and stop letting her daughter take control.

[specialmom]

Exactly!  I hope you can influence your friend to become the parent and do what is necessary to really help this child.  Good luck.

[Lasharon]

The child seems to be controlling the mother and telling her what to do when it should be the other way around.

[Lasharon]

you're right she is the child and the mother is the grown up and she needs to take control but  so far she failed to do that. The child should not have a computer if she cannot use it responsibly. She needs to call her psyciatrist and tell her that her daughter refuses to take her medication and her aggression towards family members and the pornography she is watching. Then he can call someone to come to the house and take her to a place where she can get help like a hospital where they'll make sure she takes her medication and where she can no longer look at porn and where she wont have a computer. The mother needs to realize that she needs to be the one in control here not the child.

[specialmom]

Well, I think if you have a child that out of control---------- you do moniter 24 hours a day.  You get rid of every single computer but the one you work on and that one is a lap top and you keep it with you.  Seriously, this story is almost hard to even believe.  The mother sounds like SHE should be reported to child protective services because she isn't doing her job at all.  If she is unable to handle her daughter, then someone needs to step in.  If you are saying that the daughter has untreated psychological illness, she calls the doctor that diagnosed and treated the daughter and they have her committed involuntarily.  Someone needs to be the grown up here and it has to be the grown up. So, drastic action gets results and the mother needs to be encouraged to take it.  

[Lasharon]

She has told the kid several times either she uses the computer responsibly and only uses it to play games or for educational purposes like looking something up online that is homework related and only going to sites which are age appropriate for her she'll put the parental control block on. When this was done the kid took her Macintosh laptop that she uses to do her home business on and took it into her room and started looking at porn there. The mother found it and took it back then the kid started unlocking playboy channels on the television set and other porno channels and was watching it at night when her mom was sleeping and taping it locking it up in the secret box she was keeping.

[Lasharon]

She tries to supervise her kid on her computer whenever possible but she can't monitor her activity 24 hours a day. When she put the parental control thingy on the kid got out of control.

[Lasharon]

She was hospitalized recently but they don't keep her in the hospital for long because there she behaves and takes her meds and tried to fool everyone so they let her go home in about 2 weeks to a month.

[Redhenful]

ETA: And i totally agree with Specialmom...

[Redhenful]

Sounds like the child is running that household...
Mom needs some kind of extra help..
Can she call CPS and see if they can offer her any services or out of home programs for her daughter?
If she refuses to take her meds then she needs to be in hospital to be monitered...

[Lasharon]

She has tried to remove the computer from the child's room but it didn't work as she went on in her room and started doing the same thing there. And getting rid of all of her computer's from the house isn't really an option because she has a work at home job that needs to be done on her computer. The 13 year old is very aggressive when she doesn't get her way she has hit her mother several times. She has broke her grandmother's finger once when she didn't get her way. Her school and teachers know about all this. She has been to psyciatrists and everything and they prescribe her anti-psychotic meds which she refuses to take. When her mom tried taking the computer from her, she trashed the house and beat her up and started watching porn on t.v. instead.

[specialmom]

Um, please do not get mad------------- but that is ridiculous.  Mom puts a parental control on the computer or the computer is taken out of the house and whatever "lock" box the kid has is gone.  Parents are in control-------------  not the kids.  Really, shouldn't your friend be supervising her child on the computer a bit more than that?  And not leaving a block on due to screaming/aggression from a 13 year old?  Good grief.  Your friend needs to understand that she is the parent for a reason--------- to set limits/boundaries and to help a young mind make the right decisions.  I'd come up with a pretty solid plan of containment of a child that acted like that.
Love and logic------------- by Charles and Jim Fay.  A great book about consequences.  Your friend is not providing consequences for her child.  The consequences are the teacher.  I'd rid my home of any computers and she'd be spending a lot of time with me from that point on.  Whether she threw a fit of not.  What is she going to throw a fit over at 16?  Her mom won't let her shoot heroine at home?  
good luck