Hi, this feels kind-of like a childish question, but its eating me up so i would love your help in this matter please. I have recently met this girl and am very attracted to her despite the fact that she has some serious personality disorder issues and keep making up stories. She is attention seeking to an abnormal level. I have pulled back from her recently but have not broken off the relatioship. She has become very insecure and is claiming pregnancy. Now, i know 1st reaction is "shes lying you idoit!" But just the fact of knowing it COULD be true is killing me. She said was on the pill but now I am wondering. I am a genuine guy and she is quite a few years younger than me but I am very attracted to her.
I am considering discreetely swabbing a pregnance test stick against the juices in her area!!! and then excusing myself to the bathroom. I need to know if the hormone is present in the juices produced down below! I know this sounds mad but I have tried all other avenues to get a positive or negative result. She is wrecking my head!! I know you all will advise that i should run away from her quickly but the truth is that I am quite lonely and find her ery beautiful in many ways.
Have you asked her to take a test in front of you or better yet, she should be seeing a doctor soon if she is pregnant, ask to go along since that is usually what the father of the baby does.
If she wont let you see the test or she wont let you go to the appointment that is a pretty good sign that she is lying to you.
no, i don't think that would produce a positive result....it has to come from a blood test or urine stream. i would be blunt and honest with her and tell her that you have caught her in lies before and insist that she do a pregnancy test in front of you!! i don't have much advice to give in this situation, but i do wish you the best of luck and best wishes!!
"I am considering discreetely swabbing a pregnance test stick against the juices in her area!!! "
you need a good, solid, urine stream to detect the pregnancy hormone HCG - if, by the term "juices in her area" you are referring to vaginal discharge you will NOT be able to detect HCG. Incidentally, how to you plan to discreetly swab her genitalia?
As RR so eloquently put it, the trap will indeed "snap" shut on you.
Wake up and smell the coffee. If you are attracted to a girl who is much younger, makes up stories all the time, is very insecure, and has a serious personality disorder, you will get what you deserve.
I hope an innocent baby is not going to be the result of your bad decision to keep this relationship.
I agree that you should be honest with her about your concerns. Tell her you'd like to be very involved with her prenatal care and offer to go to the doctor with her. Then depending on her reaction, talk to her about it. Honey, I know you said that you find her beautiful and you want to be with her, but seriously consider the trust issues and troubles you might have in the future because of her personality disorder. Good luck with everything!
Look to be honest I have been an idiot here and accept that. I'm not perfect and got carried away here. She is a real nutcase and I have no one to blame but myself. I just want to verify she is actually lying and get the hell away quickly. One more idea I had was to rig the toilet so it won't flush and retrieve some of her urine after her visit and do the test that way.
There is no way she will agree to do a test and I know that 99% she is lying but if there is a 1% percent chance she is not, I must verify. Please don't judge me too much, Ihave never been so stupid before and will not be again.
Surely there must be way to find out without her knowing. Does anyone have any suggestions. This has been an issue in humanity, I can't believe there isn't a way? Can you see if you can find out anything Rose? Are there any abvious physical signs. She would be pregnant almost exactly one month.
You should tell her that you would like to go to doctor appointments with her, because surely she has to get it confirmed with the doctor. See what she has to say about that. If she doesn't want to take a test for you then I would say she is lying! You can't always rely on symptoms to come because I never had any and I'm 37 weeks pregnant. All the best to you and hope you get your answers. Take care!
1. If she would be about a "month" pregnant, that means 6 weeks, and that means her period is due in about 2 weeks. Visit her home, use the restroom and count the tampons in her box in the cabinet. Then, in another three weeks, count them again.
2. Design a realistic looking postcard and send it to "resident" at her address with a typed mailing label. Some cosmetics company. Wanted for paid cosmetics study - first trimester pregnant women. Some kind of product, whatever, skin cream. All she has to do is get the skin lotion and use it one week for $150.00. If you're interested come by such and such beauty supply between the hours of _____. Then, park it outside that store and wait.
Hire some woman who looks like a junkie to approach your girlfriend and offer her $100 for a clean urine sample NOW, for a drug test. Are you clean? I need a clean sample right now, please $100 bucks, give her the vial and show her the 100 bucks.
Of course, you'd be out $200 - $100 for the junkie and $100 for your girlfriend.
Hernad, do not allow your desperation to lead you to "accidentally" assaulting your girlfriend and causing her to gush blood. You are about to step off into territory that you will GREATLY regret.
I don't think blood will show up on a home urine pregnancy test. In the tests you either pee directly on to the piece that then shows lines (if you used blood you would completely obscure the colored lines you're supposed to see) or you place the stick in urine and the urine becomes absorbed in cotton 'wicking' and travels up to the colored test lines.
Blood will either coagulate before it does that, or again, if it does get absorbed will obscure the very lightly tinted coloration lines.
Hernad- You can always be an @$$hole and tell her that you're breaking up with her because she's lying to you about being pregnant and then if she says that she is pregnant then ask her to do a pee test. If she says she "lost it" then she just got her period and she was never pregnant.
The tampon idea is good and also telling her that if she doesn't do a test (you buy a digital pregnancy test and provide it for her) right away in the morning, then you are both through. Either way, I think you need to hit the road fast. Don't keep having sex with her!! If you must, use a condom. If she's not pregnant now, she will be because she is the kind of woman who will trap a man (YOU).
Also, like an above poster said, tell her you want to go with her to her appointments.
Dont worry,I wouldn't have it in me to hurt her. I am simply not made that way. Am going to google search HCG in her saliva and in her sleep try..... But all in all, this is a mess. Believe it or not I am 45 and she is 23 and she just charmed her way into my life. I am rich and she is a student.I just cannot believe she would want to trap me as she has her whole life ahead and while i am great fun and quite good looking, surely she cannot want a life with someone my age?? I live in Dublin, Ireland by the way. Any more advice would be greatly appreciated. X
You are very naive! Why can't you just ask her to do an hpt test and that you'll go with her to her doctor's appointments?
If you say that you are rich, good looking and fun and high ego, then Of course a young girl that doesn't know what her chances in life and has a personality disorder is going to try to trap you.
Seems like she's smarter than you are. Just have some "Cojones" and ask her to do an hpt because you "don't believe she's pregnant" and because if she is then you can do something about it.
Sounds to me like you like being stuck with this girl. If you are good looking, fun and rich, don't you think you can find someone better than this girl?
You have issues too.
I know when I got pregnant, even at a young age and was not trying to, I took the test with my husband (boyfriend at the time), showed him the test and kept it for quite some time. I know i am weird, but I just couldnt throw it away. I even took several more and showed it to him each time. I cant imagine telling him about it but refusing to show him a test.
To tell you the truth, I would get the heck away from this girl asap, pregnant or not...especially pregnant, so at least the baby will have one stable household. It doesnt sound like she has a lot to offer your or the baby. At least the baby will be able to come to your house away from her and get a reality check! It doesnt sound like the two of you together will be any better than seperate.
Even if she is pregnant, how can you be sure it would be yours? Ah ha, another brain teaser for you right? You can not test for pregnancy with her saliva. Wait it out, if she starts to show then you know she is pregnant. Either way, why would you even consider staying with this type of woman?
Cut off her money supply..... see how fast she complies.... looses the baby and starts her period!
There really is NO WAY you can get her to take a test without her consent... home pregnancy test work with URINE only, the dr office test with with blood..... you cannot use saliva, blood, or vaginal juices to produce an accurate result!
You are worrying WAY too much about this.... Act like it doesnt bother you.... tell her you either take the test IN FRONT OF ME or its over.... and leave... if she is pregnant you will eventually find out sooner or later......sounds to me like you just dont want to cut the relationship off...... and that you know she is lying
Okay guys I have great news. I came home from spain yesterday and yes, she was there at the airport to greet me. So I put together a plan and I swear - it worked. I rigged the toilet so that ot would not flush ( I am good at mechanical things). I also used an old towen to drain all the water from the bown. (Don't worry, i washed my hands) So this morning she went to the toilet and I shouted in "by the way, the toilet is broken, I will get it fixed today" She suspected nothing!! So as soon as she left for work, I retrieved some urine and YES YES YES - SHE IS NOT PREGNANT!!!! No ambiguity, the test showed negative and at one month she should be saturated with HCG!! I know this story sounds bizarre but it is all true. Now I hold all the cards, I know she is not pregnant but she doesn't know, I know. A bit like Donal Rumsfelt!! Don't worry, I wil be gentle with her! She is very active in the bedroom now!! trying to please me. Think I wil sit back and relax for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hernad, you aren't telling any of us anything we didn't already know (except how to rig a toilet). We all knew she wasn't pregnant.
But you aren't even half way out of danger yet. She will continue to try to get pregnant, sounds like she's on the way to succeeding, and if she can't she'll file criminal charges on your for assault or rape.
What the rest of us can see, you can't see for some reason. Stop having sex with this woman or you'll be caught.
Sure I also suspected she wasn't preg but when u r the male involved in this scenario, even the slightest chance is a big problem. It is a huge relief to know for sure she is lying. jenshim, i know it all sounds bizarre but IT IS ALL TRUE. And I a 45 year old man and the reason I am involved with thia girl is that I am basically quite lonely and having her around is a great alleviator of this lonliness. Assault and rape are irelevant here as we are mutually and consentually involved and I conclude that her motives are financial and she has no intention of becoming pregnant. So, I intend to play along and enjoy the whole experience and relax about it. Am I so wrong in taking this opportunity to spend some time with a beautiful young woman and not be lonely for a while.
So hernad, playing along and enjoying the experience. You are a game player? Well, let's home this game doesn't end up with pregnancy as one of the squares you land on. I hope you are smart and using a condom EVERY time. Even then, this type of woman who traps a man the way she is trying with you will poke holes in the condom. Keep your eyes open...your enjoyment may turn into dread and 18 years of child support. Good luck!
have you tried match.com or something like that?.... how about the massage parlours people in another post were talking about??? they are young 'attractive...?' women there that can 'warm you up'......
*Am I so wrong in taking this opportunity to spend some time with a beautiful young woman and not be lonely for a while.*
well..... is not so much the wrong... as it is to give the chance of accidental conception and not only end up stuck with 18 years of child support, but bring to this life a little soul that does not deserve: a) a crazy mother that has mental instability, and b) parents that will indeed split eventually because they are just 'on for the ride' for now.... that never ends up good.....
but then again.... this is just a joke... so.... what the hell...I'll play along with it!
not a joke but the above points are well taken. reckon she must be on the pill. and it is true - no child deserves this ****. i simply cannot believe that a 23 yeart old woman would sacrifice her youth and get pregnant. she would be mad to give up her 20's in this way. maybe it is a cultural thing but here in ireland most 23 year olds want a free life with lots of fun and would not easily opt 4 motherhood which lets face it is notm easy. but, i know need to be careful and am playing a risky game here. she is a strange young woman, she has no interest in foreplay and just wants to get down to the action, very strange!
And I thought it was the girl that was a bit out of her mind. it sounds like the two of you are a perfect match! You sure wont be lonely when a baby arrives. she may not be pregnant now, but she will be! Next time---meaning next month...go buy a bunch of baby clothes. If you have money, use it against her...do the whole babys room! Have fun with it!
Haha...mami, vsentz, we are on the same page! Quit playing and get right down to it! It's over quicker and I can get a better nights sleep. LOL...we are MOMS too! ;)
hernad, you seem very naive to women. Especially women with motives like the one you are involved in. I do not see a good ending to this game you are both playing with each other. You're both using each other for something you are lacking and I think in her case it's a baby and money. Again, good luck!
u r all very bad girls but i am getting the drift. vsentz and mami - i know what u r thinking but she seems to want it much too often to just be on a "get it over with trip" I can see my nievity here and to be honest, i am quite able to laugh at myself and I am very amused by ur amusment if u no what i mean! anyway, i have just booked us on a sun trip to tenerife. involvement and connection are strange beasts. BAD IS BETTER THAN NONE!!
Drama over. She is getting too demanding financially and is becoming arrogant and rude so today, I am dumping her. Will do it gently as there is no point in creating unneccassary hurt and I have lost feelings for her quite all of a sudden. Reallt want to thank you all as I have really been educated by some of your comments. Guess, at the end of the day, I am simply not prepared to pay for love, you can't buy it or even a pretence of it. Have decided that 2 weeks in Tenerife with her behaviour woul just be too much to take despite her charms!!!!!!!
I wish it was a joke. To be honest, I do have issues on one level (emotions etc....) and on another level, I am stable. Successful computer engineer having done well etc... and due to my success I am almost semi retired. My greatest strenght if that I know myself but yes, when one is lonely - one tends to take all opportunities for affection etc.......
Not ideal but - life could be a lot worse! Bottom line is that I have really learned much from your words ( THAT GOES FOR ALL U GUYS) and even discovered a way to do a pregnancy test by stealth. Not a bed weeks work. By the way she sent me a text today saying she just did a test herself which was pregnant and I replied that I already knew! She wanted to know how? and I just told her that when an equation has many aspects and those aspect are all put thru my processor, there was only 1 conclusion. Reckon she will leeave me alone now. I HOPE - HELP!!!!!!!!
Just hope the last few nights haven't produced anything! So. one last question girls. ANYONE WANT A FREE VACATION IN TENERIFE WITH A REALLY CUTE RICH MAN???!!! (Despite the humour, all this is actually true and you girls have done this man a good service)
Did you ever consider that she really did think she was pregnant? I have gotten false positives many times, I know people think they are rare but they do happen.
Anyway, I think you both are better off without each other as you both seem to have some issues to resolve not to mention that you could easily be her father.
Sh#t YEAH!!! I'm in!!!!
I really hope you don't mind if I bring my 8 month old.... she'd love Tenerife!...
in fact... if you don't mind, I can bring my boxer pup, since I won't have anywhere to leave her with... she is a good girl.... she'd like you I am sure... just please bare with her if she tries to hump your leg... she's just friendly like that.....
Oh, and if you REALLY don't mind... maybe my husband can come along? I mean, you don't mind right? after all I am really cute and that's all that matters right? and I am willing to come to Tenerife with you! so there it is!.... he's friendly too.....
Sorry to sound harsh, but it sounds like you need a dog for companionship (not to mention a heated blanket) rather than a gold digger that is trying to trap you. Is your self esteem really that low? There is ALWAYS someone out there that is the "One" but you may overlook her by wasting your time on someone who isn't right for you.
Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for!
i dont know whats wrong with men, Vsentz.
your offer seemed completly rational to me... I guess men just dont know what they want... *sigh*
He wants a buddy to vacation with, you selflessly volunteer and then he ignores you?! Gosh!!! you even offered to bring extra friends, which, from the sounds of his situation he should be jumping on the oppertunity!!!!!
ARG! men.... ;o)
Ok ok guys - very funny!!!! Well do you want to hear the latest. We went to Tenerife and we did it on the first night. But it was cold and pointless and I did not enjoy it. Believe it or not some of your words did actually stick and I humbly accept that I did learn a thing or 2. I suddenly thought realised that I was about the father a child with a woman with a serious narcissistic personality disorder (google it) and enter into a nightmare for both myself and the potential child. So I told her the following day that we weere no longer going to have sex and I wanted her to do a preg test the day b4 we leave (a week later) I wont go into to much detail except to say that IU began to see the light and some of you guys helped me do that despite some of your penetrating humour. (Dont worry though, I can actually laugh at myself!) Anyway on the last day of the vacation (the test day) she startedmaking excuses such as I cannot pee etc... so I responded by saying goodbye and left the room. So now she is alone in a strange country with no prospect of getting home and no money. You never saw a girl run after me so fast a relinquish control and beg me not to leave, I alomst felt sorry for her. Anyway the test was negative, I took her home to Ireland, let her on her way and told her it was over. Someone mentioned self esteem earlier on and very strangely, I feel this experience has slightly enhanced my self esteem. And during the very bleak months of January / Feb I have foung this soap opera relationship a real distraction. So I am looking forward to your response guys. I fully expect to hear some ridicule in your scripts but do try to include some wisdom. GRose, not sure about the dog the hubby and that other lady but you are welcome to join me and my next trip. you sound interesting. send me a photo to ***@****
Being somewhat damaged GR is not actually such a terrible affliction when you understand and accept it. Also, when one has many characteristics which are positive, life isn't really al that bad. One just grab any love or affection when it shows itself, can one be blamed for that?
It seems to me..... that you are the one with the personality disorder. And also a guy who is really lonely and can not stand to be without a woman of any sort in his life. I could be wrong, but...... I doubt it.
Maybe you should go on a trip and do some serious soul searching.
Another thing.. you should not ever give your email address out on a public forum..... not that it works when you try... but it's not recommened to even try :)
hernad- You ditched me and vsentz and went on the trip without us, we are so hurt and disappointed words cant even express.
So these pictures you ask for, would you like me to keep my giant pregnant belly in the shot or should leave that until we get to know each other better?
Thanks for getting our hopes up Hernad, I now know I can never trust another rich Irish man that I meet online ever again, you have scarred me for life. It hurts to know that this was all a joke to you.
Funny??? who's funny!!!?? NOT ME! I was being dead serious!!!!!
why does this gentleman keep thinking I am joking?!??!?!.......
G... I think he is a good hearted man after all... what do you say?: do we give him another opportunity? I think he just got his girls mixed up... but that was it... not harsh feelings about that... right?
Hunny.... hernad.... sweetie.... I'd still like to go to Tenerife some time... I promise you, I'll forgive you then. I JUST KNOW my retarded dog will REALLY like you!! (or your leg anyway....) I just have that positive feeling deep in my heart....
I'm not sure if i'm one of the 3 naughty girls or not, I would just like to say, if you're looking for someone to dispense money on, I will happily volunteer. (shhhh Vsentz, I'm ok with only the financial romance from this guy =P)
And he's 45 *cough* lets not be insulting, phh, 58 with a 23 year old.... now THAT would be unbelivable....
haha, what will you do with us?! What exactly are your options? lol it's different then it was with heff, we're all friends, we all know about each other... and we're online...
However, if you feel uncomfortable spending money on someone you're not attached to, I could make our bond to be a little bit more familiar, i could always pretend to be pregnant... actually.... yes! I am pregnant, hernad, you sneaky little devil you, ahh, wonder where I will be taken on vacation... *sigh* the world is my oyster.....
yea i think dat mass up maybe she want to have your child but listen i wouldnt never lie to my man about no stuff like that but i really miss him and even doe i do thing that he tell me not to shanice&ernest
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