My issue with Porn

[winterbabyboy06]

Ok well I have known for a while the my boyfriend watches porn. About 6 months ago I saw on him email a receipt from a porn site. I said something and he freaked saying that he is too tight with his money he wouldn't do that. If he wanted that he could just get on his paltalk account. Well come to find out last night I saw another receipt in his email and he has gone to that site a good bit. And its one of those chat sites, not even really porn. ?? But he doesn't stay for long, each session is about 2 or 3 mins long, no longer than that. So I mean he can't really be getting that into it for just 2 minutes. But it bothers me because he pays for 2 different sites, that I know of. One is the chat site and then the other one is acutally porn. But I feel like he looks at it all the time. I found another site saved in his favorites. I'm almost starting to feel like he would rather watch that by himself then be with me. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough. It would be different if I knew he didn't pay for it and that it wasn't the chat sites. That kinda bothers me a lot. I didn't sleep all night because of this. And he is the kind of person that if I bring up something he has done wrong he will get mad and it will start a huge fight. But he knows me and when something bothers me I just get quiet and not myself. I just don't know what to do or how to even bring it up. It hurts me a lot but I just don't think even if I say anything he will stop. Someone please give me some advice!!!

[Judy246]

"even if they differ".

[Judy246]

Simple...it bother her that her b/f is chatting on porn sites with other women, then it's a problem. All opinions are welcome, even if the differ. Judy

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

I don't understand why chatting with other woman is questionable. I would think that he would not have to hide about talking to another human. What is wrong with talking to the other sex?

[Judy246]

I agree with Mami, it's the chatting with other women that is questionable, because if he chats with them on line, he is capable of taking it a step further if the opportunity arises.
Lying  and then becoming defensive, turning it around to make you look stupid is just unexceptable, because he is hidding something and here is where the problems begin with hurt feelings ande  trust issues. Communication and the proper approach is key to all relationships and I would "discuss" your findings, feelings and what steps need to be taken to resolve the issue that can lead to a break up over porn and his lying.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

((hugs)) I am sorry for your circumstances. I think the more important issue here is his unhealthy obsession with sex. I would do some research in your area about places that offer sex/porn obsession therapy. I would then maybe pick up a pamphlet or print out some information about sex addiction. At first he may be angry and deny he has a problem but once you and him talk about the symptoms and come to the conclusion he does have a problem, then his attitude could change. If he does not change his attitude you should consider giving your relationship some space,call it quits, or learn how to not let his obsession bother you.

[mami1323]

It's the chat sites that seem to bother me about your boyfriend.  That means he's having conversations with other women.  I don't have a problem with porn at all but I would if it were chats.  I also have a problem with the fact that he is lying about it.  He gets defensive because he's wrong and wants to turn it around or make you feel like you can't confront him about it.  When you approached him the first time, did you do it in a hostile accusatory way?  I think it's more how you bring it up to him rather than bringing it up.  If that makes sense.