Aa
My mom acts like a teenager!!
I am 21 years old with two jobs I live with my mom and everyone tells me it's time to move out. My mom is in her mid 30's with 5 kids counting me and the youngest is 1. She works a job that pays her minimum wage, she always asking me for money and say she's going to pay me back and never do.One time I gave her money to buy a transpass and she came back with a bottle of vodka and makeup. I buy close to everything thing for the house, plus I buy my siblings cloths and school books. She gets mad at me when I don't wanna go food shopping with her, like I just didn't work 16 hours. We have moved over 20 times.my mom changes job like she changes her under wear. Than she gets in her moods and don't work at all.And to top all that off she always bring random guys home. She keeps saying we're a team but Am starting to think it's just me in this team. My boyfriend, family and my friends think it's time I move out. I have tried to leave but I just feel so bad and end up staying .
I could use all the advice I can get!!
I could use all the advice I can get!!
I agree with specialmom... and had a similar situation with my own mother.. and then my aunt.
It is tough. You have a sense of responsibility for your siblings. I recommend that you leave if you can find an apartment that you can afford or a roomate that you trust to go 50/50 with. Try to stay in touch with your siblings so that you can provide some things for them if your mother is unable to make ends meet.
Sounds like you have talked to her about this situation and she is not trying to make any changes so that you both can be happy. Maybe a rude awakening like "Mom, I'm moving out" is what she needs to make those changes. While she is your mother and took care of you it is not right for her to now take advantage of you.
I hope everything works out! (I am now living on my own and my Aunt has a new baby and a baby daddy that owns his own company! So, worked out for us!)
It is tough. You have a sense of responsibility for your siblings. I recommend that you leave if you can find an apartment that you can afford or a roomate that you trust to go 50/50 with. Try to stay in touch with your siblings so that you can provide some things for them if your mother is unable to make ends meet.
Sounds like you have talked to her about this situation and she is not trying to make any changes so that you both can be happy. Maybe a rude awakening like "Mom, I'm moving out" is what she needs to make those changes. While she is your mother and took care of you it is not right for her to now take advantage of you.
I hope everything works out! (I am now living on my own and my Aunt has a new baby and a baby daddy that owns his own company! So, worked out for us!)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh, I understand, It just may weigh heavily on you to leave them helpless with her as perhaps you've had a mothering role to them since she lacks in that department. If you leave, I'd stay in close contact with them and help by taking them to be with you from time to time or throw some extra money if you do have it, I know you don't have to or shouldn't have to but am sure you feel a tie to them and you worry.
But this is your life and you are an adult. good luck
But this is your life and you are an adult. good luck
honestly although I work 2 jobs I can't afford them am barely making making ends meet now. Besides there 13, 10, 5 and 1.
thanks for the advice but me and my mom have had countless mother and daughter talks. And they don't seem to work for her!!
Wow, I am sorry to hear your problem. It sounds like a very difficult situation to be going through.
Funny you mentioned the word "team". I'm sure you heard the old line, "there is no "I" in team". It really does seem like you are doing all of the work and your mom is getting all of the benefit. Certainly, that is not fair. I think it is very honorable of you to be taking care of your siblings. I'm sure somewhere down the line that they will be very grateful for having a super big sister. Bonds that are building now will last a lifetime.
I guess there's a couple of ways you can go about this, but I don't see how you're not going to get out of this without a "mother/daughter" talk, except you will have to play the mother in this. One way would be to sit your mother down and tell her that you cannot take on all of the burden yourself, and that if you are going to be a team it is about time that she get back in the game. She's been on the bench and is well rested, now it's time for her to be in the starting rotation.
On the other hand, I can see how others are telling to you run. To them, it looks like your mother isn't respecting you or taking care of her responsibilities and are shoving them on you. Raising those kids is not your responsibility, but you have stepped up because she won't.
You sound like a very hard worker and have a great work ethic. It also sounds like you don't shirk your responsibilities. With that attitude, you will go far in life. Right now, you should be enjoying life a little, Yeah, hard work is part of that but so is having a good time. 2 full time jobs doesn't allow for any you time, and add to that the fact that you are also taking care of your siblings....? Wow! I don't know how you manage.
Have that talk with your mother. Let her know that you cannot handle everything and she needs to step up. If she can't, perhaps it is time for you to step aside and do for you. There are services out there that will get your siblings what they need, but your mom has got to step it up.
Funny you mentioned the word "team". I'm sure you heard the old line, "there is no "I" in team". It really does seem like you are doing all of the work and your mom is getting all of the benefit. Certainly, that is not fair. I think it is very honorable of you to be taking care of your siblings. I'm sure somewhere down the line that they will be very grateful for having a super big sister. Bonds that are building now will last a lifetime.
I guess there's a couple of ways you can go about this, but I don't see how you're not going to get out of this without a "mother/daughter" talk, except you will have to play the mother in this. One way would be to sit your mother down and tell her that you cannot take on all of the burden yourself, and that if you are going to be a team it is about time that she get back in the game. She's been on the bench and is well rested, now it's time for her to be in the starting rotation.
On the other hand, I can see how others are telling to you run. To them, it looks like your mother isn't respecting you or taking care of her responsibilities and are shoving them on you. Raising those kids is not your responsibility, but you have stepped up because she won't.
You sound like a very hard worker and have a great work ethic. It also sounds like you don't shirk your responsibilities. With that attitude, you will go far in life. Right now, you should be enjoying life a little, Yeah, hard work is part of that but so is having a good time. 2 full time jobs doesn't allow for any you time, and add to that the fact that you are also taking care of your siblings....? Wow! I don't know how you manage.
Have that talk with your mother. Let her know that you cannot handle everything and she needs to step up. If she can't, perhaps it is time for you to step aside and do for you. There are services out there that will get your siblings what they need, but your mom has got to step it up.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, you are certainly entitled to your life dear. Agreed that your mom sounds flakey and troubled. In doing the math, she was but a child when she had you and may see you more as a friend than her child.
Probably what is hard is leaving your siblings behind. Yes, I'd be worried about them as well. You could still do things financially for them. Does she receive financial assistance for the kids? I will say at least your mom is working and without an education and job training, it is hard to get a good job these days. Sadly, she has not spent her life trying to make it better but that was her choice. With that number of kids and only min. wage, does she get food stamps or anything?
If you feel she is unfit as a mother--- that is a dilemma. Do you call CPS or take the kids yourself? That is so very hard,
But know that you do desrve your independence from her dysfunction. Peace
Probably what is hard is leaving your siblings behind. Yes, I'd be worried about them as well. You could still do things financially for them. Does she receive financial assistance for the kids? I will say at least your mom is working and without an education and job training, it is hard to get a good job these days. Sadly, she has not spent her life trying to make it better but that was her choice. With that number of kids and only min. wage, does she get food stamps or anything?
If you feel she is unfit as a mother--- that is a dilemma. Do you call CPS or take the kids yourself? That is so very hard,
But know that you do desrve your independence from her dysfunction. Peace
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