Right, me and my ex was talking and she told me in pure confidence that she lost a baby last year she was only 14 (Yes i know very young!!) And she hasn't told her mum before and i am the only one who knows about it.
She said her fallopian(sp?) tubes are damaged, she is still upset about it and is scared of not being able to become pregnant again.
Just for my peace of mind and so i can pass advice one (God help me on this one...) i just want her to be happy again!!
You need to advise her, that she needs to tell her mother, and she also needs to see a Doctor, and then he can tell her whether she can or she cant have babys much much later when she grows up, and yes 14 is way to young to start the sex bit also a child cant raise a child, she needs to grow up, and also needs someone to take her and get some birth control pill or something so that this can not happen again, if she had it the welfare systym can only do so much these young girls need to concentrate on an education first, and also this goes for the guys they need to practice safe sex, and wait until they are old enough to learn something they need to control their hormones before they end up a teen father with a poot life ahead of them, and not enough education to get a job this is also for all teens being a teen mother means that your young life is over, no more dating who wants to date a teen mom also no more going out with the girls or boys your young life is shot luck to you and she really needs to tell mom and get to the DR remember to tell her you only are young once, and having kids at a young age is not the way to go jo
she's probably not damaged anyway. if you guys plan on having sex anytime in the future, make sure you always use protection. i knew plenty of highschool girls that had numerous abortions and miscarriages and i see them in the store today with guess what???-- 3 or 4 kids!!! dont listen to that.
though she might feel badly or be depressed and require counseling for suffering from the loss of her baby, don't make the mistake of using that "damaged" stuff as birth control
Jo- I have told her on numerous occasions that she should, but she is extremely scared of her mothers reactions. Starting a sexual relationship at 14 is extremely young, even in my eyes that's too young, and being pregnant at that age is a whole different things!!
She did learn from her mistakes though and has used protections since then.
I will also recommend that she does go to the doctors when i next see her, i have offered many times that if shes that scared to tell someone or find stuff out i will be on hand if she need someone to go with.
Only time will tell if there's damage or not, as for protection i would ALWAYS use it, i personally am to scared of getting Stds etc... The part about teen mothers, well there's a girl who is fifteen, sixteen next month and she already has a baby. I really wouldn't surprise me if she has another by next year!!
I've always said to her and other girls, i wouldn't have a kid until i have my career sorted and running steady and until i am able to support myself let alone a baby!!
Thanks for your replies on this, you both have been extremely helpful :)
She is scared of her mums reaction, her mum would be furious for not knowing. She knows that she has an active sex life, but doesnt know about the misscarrige.
Things may be different over in America then over here in England but our parents give us free decisions and aren't intrested in EVERY part of our lives
Her mum works alot and in the holidays (Summer break) thats when she became pregnant. Although i have told her her mum would support her (As her mum gave birth to her first kid at 16) i'm sure she would be rather good towwards her.
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