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Need advice on what to do!!!
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Need advice on what to do!!!

I got married 8 years ago & we divorced 2 years ago. Trying to work our issues out. He is a VERY controlling husband. I feel I have given up who I am to please him to where I don't even know who I am anymore. I have had health issues which has forced me to stay with him but I am fine now. I feel neither one of us are "in" love with each other & just pretty much exist together out of habit. He was always emotionally abusive towards me which has forced me to leave him but take him back in hope's he will change. I am afraid to leave him as my insecurities are such a mess. I have no money to leave him & have no where to go. I am going to start back at work soon & start saving money. I have conditioned myself to just accept this is my life. I know I need to just move on. He has 2 kids , I have one which we have NO kids together. Anyway, about 2 weeks ago I ran into an old friend. I have not seen him in about 10 years. My daughter was having problems & he was a police officer which he still is. He helped me with my daughter. We flirted alot with each other back then but he was married & would not think about cheating on his wife which I would NEVER have any relationship with a married man. He used to say.. If I wasn't married. One time I broke down & told him how I felt about him I just couldn't keep it in any longer. He said he really cared for me also we shared some deep feelings. We knew we couldn't go there. We lost contact with each other but I have never stopped thinking about him. He has been the only man in my life that I felt "HE IS THE ONE! We used to talk all the time. He would always tell me how beautiful I was & just an all around terrific man. Anyway, since I saw him 2 weeks ago I can't stop thinking about him. I only saw him briefly & he gave me his number if I ever need anything. Well I made an excuse to call him for legal advice since he is an officer he met me at a local convience store. We talked about our lives some. I wanted so bad to tell him I have never stopped thinking about him but couldn't get up the nerve. He said he is divorced now his ex cheated on him. I told him I am still with mine but do not plan on staying with him. He said he is moving in 2 months & moving on with his life. I don't want to loose him again out of my life but not sure what he feels. I am afraid to ask. He was friendly but nothing more. I was hoping he might have missed me. I know after 10 years I did not expect him to just throw himself at me. Anyway, he had to leave & said well if you need anything call me. I didn't expect him to sweep me off my feet. But like I said don't want to loose him out of my life. When I called him to say hi to see how he was doing he said "What's up!" So, I quickly made an excuse to see if he would meet me & like I said he did but now I am left not knowing what to do! I don't want to throw myself at him but not sure which way to go?!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am confused.  You stated that you got divorced 2 years ago, so I don't understand are you with him or not right now?  Or is this someone else you are talking about.  I guess what I don't understand is what the problem is if you got divorced 2 years ago and you have now met this new man.  
I will say one thing about most police officers, they work females good.  5 of my cousins are cops, and they are great family guys, but I always hear stories about how many guys on the force see how many girls they can pick up because girls are always flirting with them due to the fact they are police officers.  
There is a book called "He's Just Not That In To You"  If this man truly thought you were the one he wanted to live his life with, he wouldn't be moving away.  
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199284_tn?1200688850
I think you mean you got divorced but have been living with your ex husband hoping he would change his ways and because your financial situation does not allow you to move on.

Well about the officer, the good thing here is that you are single and so is he. However I'm not quite sure if he wants a relationship with you or anybody right now. Maybe you should give him time to heal the wounds a divorce causes. You know I've heard guys are more likely to feel depressed when they get divorced than women. I don't know I heard it on the radio. This guy is not yet ready to just forget what he went through with his ex wife and just be with you as if nothing has happened.Don't expect him to right now sweep you off your feet...you don't want that because it'd be fake...he is not ready for you just yet. Let him cure himself and give him some time for he might need it.

We are talking about a guy who was cheated on. It's not easy to regain trust in someone after that. I don't think he is ready. He might like you, though, for what you posted he probably likes you a lot.

I'd say hold it for a bit longer. If you don't want to lose him that's fine. You two can be friends there's nothing bad about it but just don't throw yourself at him because it may be fatal for you who are so interested in him. He could use you just to forget all about a stressful divorce or he might reject you. I don't know which one is worse. You decide.

Good luck.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for the advice. I am not going to sit around & wait. But I will let him do the persueing. Thank you so much. Your imput REALLY helped!
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199284_tn?1200688850
I'm glad I was able to help you. You know..whatever is meant to be will work out just fine. Right now TIME is your best friend and ally. Good luck with your officer.
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