5 years ago, I met this girl, let's call her Lo. We started as friends with benefits. I was still in college and messing around with other girls, and who know what she was doing. Anyways, 7 months into i confess, and she confesses to doing things (which made me feel better since I wasn't the only one) , then we decided to stop messing around with other people. Well, we started a relationship then realized a year later that we were not ready. So we stopped talking for about a over 5 months then I run into her at a movie theater. We talk, hang out, and decide to see each other again. A couple weeks later we are back together. We both didn't want to think about the future so we just had fun, unfortunately we made the 'mistake' of talking to each other every day and seeing each other multiple times a week. Well, a little over a year later my life takes me in a different direction and I have to move away. We are both sad, but hey, it happens. We don't speak initially, but then she makes plans to visit. SHe visits me, two months later I visit her, then we start takling about her moving in with me (note this is clear across the country, oregon and ohio) so it's kind of a big move for her). This was exactly one year ago.
The year together has been great, aside from a few ups and downs. I have been pretty good about saving money, however she is one of those 'spends all her money lives paycheck to paycheck' kind of people.
So finally here is the current situation. She misses her family, I'm not moving back, but we are kinda trapped. She doesn't have enough money to move away anytime soon, and I our lease is up next month. I love her, she says she loves me, but it doesn't seem like we can work. She wants me to stay with her until she has enough money to move back. She claims her family doesn't have the funds to assist her. Should I stay with her (let her use me) until she is able to move back? Is it a **** move to go on with my life and let her deal with her own problems?
We could probably stay in our current place, but the next place I get is going to be with some friends and they are planning on finding a place next month. I can't afford to pay double rent. What do I do?
You say that you LOVE her but it doesn't sound like it to me. Even CARING about her would mean being concerned about "her problems." YES you should help her to get home or if you don't wanna do that than yea, help her out and let her save money until she can afford it... Whats a girl gotta do? She says she loves you? NO, she moved a long way to be with YOU! That SHOWS thru ACTION that she cares. It may be over but please do the right thing... KARMA... Ya know?
Thank you all for the insight. I suppose it may seem like I don't care, so I don't blame you for saying that. I do love this girl, but I have to make sure i don't ruin my life trying to make her happy
I get how her moving out to be with me should show that she cares, milkshakes melt, people change. If she really loved me she would want to be with me. Please do not misunderstand, I do not expect to compete with her family, after all they have known her much longer than I have, and I hate that for now she has to choose between us, but is a few years away from the family really gonna kill her? I have told her I do not plan on staying here for much longer, but it would be at lease a year or two longer before I left. Initially she said it was ok but now she is not so sure. In fact, she is being a typical woman and refusing to make up her mind.
So, I have talked to my friends and they are cool with either renting out my room for a while or splitting the cost for a few months, In the meantime, my girlfriend and I are looking for a month to month place to figure out what to do next. She is not sure she wants to move cuz she doesn't want to lose me, is what she is claiming. I really love her, so any time I get to spend with her is cool with me, as long as my life isn't ruined as a result. I was afraid i was being to much of a pushover, but you all have helped me see that there may be anything wrong with helping a girl out:)
I was just on guard because I know there are women out there who would try to take advantage of guys like me.
I think if you both love each other then you should work something out like 50-50. Love and Marriage takes alot of work and compromising. If you Really, Really Love her, ask her to marry you and see what she has to say.
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