Need some advise 18 & pregnant

I am 18 years old and 12 weeks pregnant i just need some advice i was with the babys dad for over 2 and a half years we were recently living together but i left because we were fighting and he would acuse me of stuff i didnt do so being pregnant and all i got tired of it he knew i would come back its obvious we just needed some time apart i was stuck between abortion and keeping it but i realized i dont have the heart to kill my baby especially this far along my mother also wants me to keep it he told me get rid of it which caused those thoughts but im not letting his negativity bring me down i dont even know if i want him in my life but of course the childs if he chooses to be i have a good jiob working 20 hours every week the baby is both of our faults but im taking full responsibility should i let him be in the childs life? im scared of being a teen my of course but im very independent

[soontobemommaof3]

I was also a teen mom I had my oldest son at 18. I'm not defending ur bf or what he said but he is young and it may take him a while to adjust...however if ur mom is supportive and loving I would stay with her because u don't need that negativity in ur life right now...its hard enough dealing with the emotions of being pregnant as a teenager with out all his bs

[ShellyLette]

If he wants to be in the child's life then I say let him. You shouldn't keep your child away from one of their parents IF they want to be in your child's life. If not, take it to court and definitely get some child support cuz like you said its both of your faults that you got pregnant, not just yours and you shouldn't be the only one financially taking care of yalls child. That's not right

[soontobemommaof3]

I was also a teen mom I had my oldest son at 18. I'm not defending ur bf or what he said but he is young and it may take him a while to adjust...however if ur mom is supportive and loving I would stay with her because u don't need that negativity in ur life right now...its hard enough dealing with the emotions of being pregnant as a teenager with out all his bs

[Nighthawk61]

Congratulations on your choice to keep your baby. As you are independent and mature, and have the support of your family you should enjoy a great pregnancy. It's a beautiful time in your life, and I agree, stay away from negativity. I think that most men your age would consider abortion being the answer for you both. He's young, immature, has the idea of a career before kids probably, and may not have the same support structure as you do, so cut him some slack, and let him grow up. Let him come to you. Definitely put his name on the birth certificate and have him help you financially. Best of luck with your pregnancy. There's so many good pregnancy forums on this site. I sure wish I had Medhelp when i was pregnant and had my young son. I look forward to hearing you on this site. Again, Congrats Girl.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome to the forum.  Sorry you are having a rough time.  Some men/boys need time to adjust to the idea of the major responsibiity to come of parenthood and eventually step up to the plate and some never do.  Don't know what this guy will do.  It's hard to totally predict.  The baby and you need a peaceful environment that isn't chaotic with up and down relationships so hopefully you can figure al of this out before the baby arrives.  I'm glad your mom is willing to help with the baby.  

One thing that I wanted to mention is adoption.  This is such a wonderful option when someone has found themselves pregnant at a difficult time.  It gives a couple the opportunity to have a child they couldn't have otherwise and it allows you to get to a better, more independent place prior to becoming a parent yourself.  They have open adoptions these days so you could see your child grow.  I really want to let you know that there is no shame in adoption and in fact, I think it is courageous and wonderful to think of the big picture.

Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it.

One thing I always say to teen moms is that really, in the end, you can't count on the man who got you pregnant.  He has the luxery of coming and going.  You will have much to think about and plan for if you keep the baby including child care, continueing your education so you can at some point live on your own and without assistance, expenses of the baby, etc.  It's a lot.  It's doable as many young people make it through but you do have to plan for the future more than ever before.  And as you can't count on others and the baby is counting on you, you have to get on with it and make the plans.

I wish you much luck dear.