I have been with my boyfriend for five years now, we broke up for one year. During this time he has struggled alot emotionally, financially etc I was there. Always available, "his lifesaver" always sacrificing and putting him first. making sure that he's ok. He moved out of our community six months ago and during that time it was like we became best friends, he appeared to have changed for better, we went out every chance we got and spoke of the future alot. He came back into the community (he won't be staying for long) and I was so happy but then he started rejecting me sex, basically saying I cannot come over and then finally last night he yelled at me for being clingy and needy. I'm sorry? WTF?! When I was being little miss always there when you call was I not clingy?! I feel like I'm afraid to be alone and thats the reason y I hold on so long five years is a long time and I dont want to start all over and I just love him so much.....
Wow. He's really giving you mixed signals. That push/pull thing is very confusing. Ya know, I think it is time to have a heart to heart with him. I'd ask him what he sees you as, where he sees things headed, what his goal for the relationship is, etc. Get answers on this! If he won't have the conversation, then you have your answer. He's not wanting a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship but rather a friendship on his terms. If he DOES want a true relationship with you----- then you have a signal that you are being to dependent on him. Then you work on your own self so you don't need him as much. But before you start that--------- make sure you two are on the same page. Communication is in order here.
I do think that when we are afraid of losing someone we can stifle them. Getting rid of the fear of losing them often helps with this and that is where this conversation comes into play. And if he says that he isn't wanting what you want---------- move on. Hard as that is, better to know than to want something he won't give while giving him what he wants. good luck
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