Not Over my Ex 2years On

I am not sure if I'm over my ex or not.
We were going out for 4 years and were engaged for two of those years. Half of our relationship was long distance as I went to London to study while he stayed in Scotland. He was the love of my life, I would think about him all the time and get butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw him. Things all changed though after a family members death, I was severely depressed and didn't realise it at the time. I soon started to feel pressurised in the engagement, bored in our relationship and thought our sex life was dull. I cheated on him and felt really awful immediately after and couldn't ever get over it. I know I will never cheat on anyone ever in my life after that incident because it hurt me so much knowing how bad he would feel as well. He was such a good guy, I couldn't complain about anything that he did that was wrong as he was a model boyfriend. I tried going on a break and things weren't good because I was so depressed and didn't want to drag him down with me. I was going crazy, I was sleeping 14 hours a day, I dropped out of university, put on 2.5stone in weight. I ended our relationship and I went on a disasterous rebound only a month later. When my ex found out, he was absolutely devasted and he cut me off. I told him to try and get over me. I deleted his number, facebook, email everything in a bid to try and forget him. For a year I was swinging to one bad relationship to the next. I met a guy a year ago and we've been going out ever since. I've decided to take a new job 300miles away to live with him but I keep thinking about my ex unconciously. I have horribly vivid dreams about my ex every night and I wake up feeling emotional and drained. I love my new boyfriend, but I compare him to my ex whenever he does something wrong or I get angry. I wish that I hadn't ever gone on a rebound and just sorted things out at the time. I tried speaking to my ex once but he was seeing someone else at the time and told me he wanted to give it a go with her. Their relationship has now ended badly and a part of me hopes that he still thinks of me. I was walking in the street last month and saw him in a parked car with his friends, who all started laughing and hiding down in the car as I walked by. I was so humiliated. I don't think I want to get back with my ex, but I just can't stop thinking about him sometimes and wishing that things hadn't ended the way they had. I really don't know what to do, I wish I could move on from it.

[Life360]

Hi and welcome. We all never really get over past intense relationships and and will dream of them for the rest of our lives as it is deep set into our psychie as an unresolved affair. Your dreams of him are a natural way of how to deal with new loves, I have discovered that going back never ended up well as people really dont change, the only thing that changes is our perception of how things could have been.
Just go on with your life as people will come and go and the bottom line to learn from this is the importance of ourselves as we will always be there for us.

[Life360]

Hi and welcome. We all never really get over past intense relationships and and will dream of them for the rest of our lives as it is deep set into our psychie as an unresolved affair. Your dreams of him are a natural way of how to deal with new loves, I have discovered that going back never ended up well as people really dont change, the only thing that changes is our perception of how things could have been.
Just go on with your life as people will come and go and the bottom line to learn from this is the importance of ourselves as we will always be there for us.