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Nude pics and texts?
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Nude pics and texts?

So my boyfriend let me go through his cellphone. And he has nudes of this one girl, nudes, face pictures, and diet texts from this girl. They were all taken and sent before he was with me. But then te other day I was going through his phone again. And there was a pic of her face in his photos and was put in his phone photo folder while we are dating. I don't think I'm over reacting about this. But I don't know what to do about it. He told me that his phone glitched/ or that he might of just deleted an put it in again. This photo was not a duplicate either.

Also, is it wrong to not want to see/ meet any of his friends that are girls. On his birthday we went out to a pub, and one of his old flings were there cause they are good friends. Touched his legs and rubbed him. He never told me until after we left? Another time. Met up with one of his old friends/booty call, and we were having a few drinks, and then her an I start talking. And she starts talking about there old sex life? WTF! Then another woman came over to our house. She was married but her husband was always out of town. And it's winter so it's cold, she's on the couch and she's cold. So what does my boyfriend do. He invites her to OUR bed. And she laid right next to him on top on him. I was so pissed. And he still talks to everyone of them. What do I do!
9 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
I think this is a red flag....I'd confront him about all these things, and tell him "would you like it if I received naked pictures and text messages from other men; do you want to meet my ex's and my booty calls?" Obviously, the relationship he wants, and the relationship you expect, are not coinciding.

He doesn't seem committed. I'd leave... you might be very emotionally invested, but this seems VERY disrespectful, and even more so if he had full knowledge that this incriminating evidence was on his phone and let you look through them, knowing it would hurt you. If you don't take a stand, he'll keep doing this; even if you do take a stand and he continues to do this, then you need to leave.

From what I know from my male friends, guys doesn't want to meet their "girlfriend's" friends because they don't want to invest time into this other person's life. This guy subjects you to his ex gfs, his friends, his life, and doesn't want anything to do with yours? Red Flag. Sounds conceited and entitled.

Don't hang out with his ex's. Be congenial, no need to throw fists... but, don't hang out with people he used to have sex with if they are emotionally invested. If he invites his ex's and booty calls to YOUR personal space without your consent, leave. You can find someone more compatible and worth your time. Don't associate with these people.

So, in brief, yes. There is something terribly wrong with this situation. I don't know how long you two have been together, but confront him about it, see if this improves. Confrontation is your best bet. If you just started dating, get out. Tell him "I can see we don't have the same idea of how we want our relationship to be"; no big deal right? Then stop talking to him or the people he's associated with altogether. He's made it clear what kind of relationship he wants, and you know what you want. If you have been dating for years and this is a sudden occurrence, confront him about it to see what the hell's going on.

I'm sorry, but this guy just sounds like bad news. It's alright to be congenial with past relationships, but inviting over ex's/booty calls in my opinion, is disrespectful. A person who was called 4 or 5 times to have sex at 1a.m. should not have that much importance in someone's life as to invite them into personal time with something they are quote-on-quote dating. Ex gf's are 'ex' for a reason. This guy seems to think he's entitled to a harem. You need to get this sorted out, either with confrontation or leaving him, or some combination of both. Good luck.

*I'm leaning towards leaving him. Just saying. I don't know you, but you don't deserve that... but if you don't confront him, and things don't change, you are just hurting yourself. You must act on your own behalf. You deserve to be in a relationship that adheres to the type of relationship you want. Don't put up with this.
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1527510_tn?1392304944
After reading this post, in relation to your last - you need to get rid of this man.
It's not okay to have these pictures on his phone while he is with you or not.
Out of respect for you, he should delete any pictures of an ex from his phone. I really don't like the sound of him. He spends more time playing on his XBox than he spends with you, he won't let you go out with your friends in case you do anything 'shady' yet he is allowed to have these pictures on his phone and invite a women into your bed. No way should he be allowed to do this, and if this is the way he wants to be, then fine, let him - but get yourself out of that situation and don't be a part of it. You can do so much better, and don't deserve to sit about while he's spending all his time playing games and chatting to girls.
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Avatar_f_tn
How would I go on about starting this conversation? I'm the one who usually just sits back and watches the show. Its very difficult to get me to speak up. Cause I always try to word out everything perfect before I say anything. The picture thing is the most recent because he said he would delete them and hasn't. All the girls I haven't seen since jan-feb so that hasn't really been a problem. It's the constant Xbox playing/live game chat and the old nude/ texts
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1527510_tn?1392304944
Just start by talking to him. Say you need to talk everything because the way he's acting and the way things are going are not good. It's not a normal healthy relationship to be texting women, having their naked pictures on your phone or preferring to spend time playing computer games and talking to people online rather than your girl friend. Tell him this isn't what you want, and not the way you want to live.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Dear.....you have received RED FLAG AFTER RED FLAG.  

Get rid of this scum and quick.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I'm just trying to think about what makes this man so desirable to you.  

You're a mother and you've got a man child as a partner.  I don't mean to be harsh, believe me.  This just reads to me as a man that is very immature, deeply troubled, and . . . wasting your time.  

I'd rather be alone than deal with this bs.  That you don't want that as well worries me.  You need to want more for yourself and your child.  

I'm sorry it is so hard and wish i could snap my fingers and fix it.  However, I think that to change this man will take heavy intervention.  I'm sorry.  good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I love him a lot. That's what had me holding on. I don't have any children, but this is my first true boyfriend. I am living with him. But I guess what I'm jeopardizing maybe might be the fact that my lifestyle at my dads has a lot of anamosoty. My dad and step mom constantly cheat on each other and I see the damage. I've always wanted to sart a family, as I've always been the mother figure to my brother.. I dont know why I do either. I just feel like I wouldn't be able to find anyone else. There is a 10 year gap between him and I too him being older then me.
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Avatar_f_tn
I love him a lot. That's what had me holding on. I don't have any children, but this is my first true boyfriend. I am living with him. But I guess what I'm jeopardizing maybe might be the fact that my lifestyle at my dads has a lot of anamosoty. My dad and step mom constantly cheat on each other and I see the damage. I've always wanted to sart a family, as I've always been the mother figure to my brother.. I dont know why I do either. I just feel like I wouldn't be able to find anyone else. There is a 10 year gap between him and I too him being older then me.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Agree with Specialmom.  

You can't change him and he isn't interested in changing.  It is what it is.  Plus, why should he change when you put up with all this?  

I would too rather be alone than to deal with this; that's me though.  

Sounds like you are too dependent on this man and clinging on to him.  I wouldn't call this healthy.  You turn a "blind eye" to all these red flags and pretend everything is great when it isn't.   This is ALL your choice too which is the concerning part.  Sounds like you have some low-self esteem.  

Leave him and get some therapy on board for yourself to figure out why you are drawn to this unhealthy situation.  I am guessing you are drawn to this because 1.  you had NO real father figure in your life  2.  you are trying to excape from your family's issues.  Look into free counselling for yourself.  

Help yourself to a better and healthy life.  I am not sure if you think you deserve this, however, I think you do.  

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