Partners huge sex drive worries me

[Awesome1234]

Hi, Ive been with my partner 11 years. He's has such a massive sex drive to mine.
I love him a lot and most of the time we are like best mates. Our relationship has t been the easiest because he has cheated. But even now I know he has been trying to work on things he has this massive sex drive. Looks at a lot of porn. Wants to have 3 somes. Watch me with other men.
But I'm so plain Jane I'm happy to just be with him and have regular sex. I don't think we are a good match like that. I can't compete or work it out. When I try to talk about it I come off judgemental and he gets defensive but I just don't understand it. In my head I just want a normal married life and in his he wants to do pretty much most things. Mmf, foursomes, gang bangs whatever... I just don't get why he isn't happy with me the way I am him. It turns him on the thought of me being with another guy. Where I would want to kill him being with another woman.

I don't feel I'm right for him. He needs someone very sexual adventurous to be happy.
But when I say this it just turns into a fight because he wants to spend his life with me.

[TikiRacer]

To each their own. Everyone is an individual with likes and dislikes. I would never criticize anyone for their own wants. If that is what he wants, so be it. If that is not what you want, so be it. Criticizing each other for what each wants is dangerous for a relationship. It just leads to frustration and animosity.
11 years is a long time and I know it would be hard to end but it looks like it's time to leave.
I don't think he is going to change and neither are you.
I've gone through the same thing and we both cordially went our separate ways, understanding what was best. One of your respondents seems to think his desires are fake and gross but to him, they're real. Who is anyone to judge his desires in his own life? Kicking to the curb is a silly way to end a relationship unless someone is cheating and not being truthful. It sounds like he is at least telling you what he wants. But, it might be time to end it.

[Chima7]

I realize there are people out there who get off on that type of stuff but personally I think it's gross. I would never stay in a relationship, especially as long as you have, with someone who would want that kind of fake relationship. You're absolutely right that you're not compatible at all and for that reason you really shouldn't be in this relationship anymore.

It doesn't matter what you say to him, he's not going to change. But if you stay any longer, he will harass you forever to get you to change for his benefit. Is that really how you want to live the rest of your life? There are plenty of better guys out there who won't expect you to degrade yourself for his pleasure. You need to find one of those and kick this one to the curb.

[Londres70]

Are you married to this guy or is he just a bf?