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Partnet cheated - Lack of interest in sex (with her)

Basically my ex-wife decided she wanted a divorce and moved out with our son.  Within 1 month she was together with a guy who I had been very suspicious of during the final months before she gave me the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" line and moved out.  As hard as I tried to change her mind she filed for divorce and we got divorced.  Within a month of the divorce being finalized we got back together.  At first the sex was good again but it's gotten to the point where we have sex maybe once every month or two.  I find myself not interested in sex with her that much.  I don't know if it's because of the cheating or what.  I'm taking anti-anxiety meds that have a "sexual side effect" but I still find myself being very attracted to other people.  My wife (technically she's still my ex-wfe) is very good looking but I seldom get the "urge".  Maybe it's just the usual loss of sex drive that happens in a typical relationship.  

Anyone have this issue with a cheating partner?

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Avatar universal
I think it's very important to remember what she said to you, "I love you, BUT, I'm NOT in love with you anymore."  I don't think she loves you and without trust and love in a relationship...there is no relationship. I recommend that you talk to her first about your concerns and see her reaction and response. I also recommend a marriage counselor, talk to a priest who are trainned for these issues and remember that there are children involved and you want to make sure they are protected from what is going on between both of you. Good luck.
Helpful - 0
684030 tn?1415612323
I would imagine that your sense of emotional attachment with your ex has been damaged by the betrayal of trust (cheating). So, maybe when your with her, you're already resigned to the fact that the relationship is over; and, your feelings towards her are no longer as they once were. Such emotional "shutdowns" can understandably affect one's sexual motivation.

But, if you don't mind my asking, why are you involved with her, now? ...especially,
after she's cheated, divorced you and you are admittedly "attracted to other people."
And, what of this other man with whom she was cheating on you?
Is she cheating on him with you?
Just wondering!
Helpful - 0
303824 tn?1294871401
This is completely normal under the circumstances. Getting past a cheating spouse is tough! There will always be thoughts in the back of your head and the "what if"  

My question to you is, why did you get back together with her? There was something lacking in the marriage for her to look elsewhere (for her anyway) and there is a pretty good chance that it will happen again. Especially if you have forgiven it before.

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