Pleas help I really like this guy

[dano777]

So i was kinda seeing this guy. Seemed really nice and we hungout a couple times. Well I haven't really seen since a month ago. Anyways I saw him at the bar last night. It was a small bar so we kept kinda running into each other. But I never said anything and neither did he. Really upset me. Anyways it is his birthday today so I was going to text him and say "have a great birthday, hope you have great birthday sex haha" just so I would get something back. But I got told to not even send a happy birthday. What should I do? I really like him.

[specialmom]

Dano, you seem to be ignoring my posts to you.  You've posted your question under these different profiles and I have a pretty good picture of what is going on.  Sorry.  He wants to have sex with someone.  You don't.  So . . . he is not interested in cuddling and watching movies when he knows there is no chance of it leading to sex.

Men are simple.  They aren't these complex creatures that are secretly pining away for someone.  He's being rather clear about things.  When is the last time he texted you first?  

But what I am really concerned with is your insistance in THIS guy when he's not showing great interest in you and isn't being all that nice to you.  Makes me wonder why you really really really think you like him.  I'm also wondering how old you are and how much experience you have.  

I wish you luck but feel this post will be ignored like the others.  But please stick to one profile.

[dano777]

I really really really like him.  And lonely being here and want to watch a movie and cuddle with him.  But its like he wants me to chase him.  As soon as I text him he will text me for awhile.  I just don't get it :(.

[specialmom]

Dano, you have posted about this using three different names.  You met him on line, moved to his town, had a night in which you did not want to drive back home so you spent it with him and he then made reference to further sexual activity and you said no and he dropped you.  Please post under one name from now on as it is med help rules to only have one profile and they can track it by IPO information.  

I know it hurts but as was posted to you prior, you are better off finding someone who is interested in the same kind of relationship you are.  And I'm worried that you are so interested in capturing someone that you know is not kind to you or interested in what you are in terms of a relationship.  This is troublesome because this pattern will repeat unless you address it.  good luck

[Flavoured]

Dano.. Forget him, he's a proper time waster, he wanted sex and prolly wanted to keep you as his booty call, since you said no sex till you're ready, he no longer has any need for you. I think even sending a happy birthday message will look like you are trying to make it more than he wants it to be. And that's a recipe for disaster.
You deserve more than that. If you send him the message, he'll think you are opening the door to him, and when he doesn't get what he wants, he'll do the same or worse again, that's gonna hurt you even more.
All the best.. :) xx

[penswriter]

Forget him. He ignored you, you ignored him. It sounds like something teenagers do and if you're in bars  you're obviously an adult. Let it go. The "relationship" went sour when you said no sex...then you know what he wanted. Sex. You didn't give it and now he's probably moving on.

[dano777]

I just don't get it, cause I could tell he wasn't interested after I stayed the night one night, we had a really fun time but the next day I said no sex till i'm ready.  then it went downhill from there.  Then a week and a half ago he said he liked me and just been busy with work and we would hangout.  Then the weekend came and got no text.  So i text him on sunday asking if he wanted to watch a movie.  Then he text me tuesday morning saying sorry he just got his phone fixed.  So its I don't get it.  Its like he's trying to hang onto me just a thread.  I don't get it.

[specialmom]

Okay dano.  If he has been a complete jerk to you----------- enough said.  You should not feel like you "like" him or anything else.  We should not be attracted to guys who are jerks to us.  It ends badly------- I'm telling ya.  Set higher standards for yourself.  

Did you meet him online?  

Keep yourself busy and try to meet other people-----------  he's not worth your time.  And he's letting you know that he's not that interested, I'm sorry to say.  He'd have said hello to you at least if he were.  Not worth your thoughts and efforts.  Good luck hon.

[PassionFlower09]

Ahhhh ok, leave him alone. I somehow got  the impression that you liked him or had some feeling for him (why else would this"Really upset" you ? ) I guess  I misinterpreted your post.

Since  you think he has been a complete jerk to you, don't send him anything. Just forget about him.He probably wanted you to chase him.

You behaved properly in the bar.

PassionFlower09

[dano777]

I never said hi at the bar because he's been a complete jerk to me.  Never wants to hangout but still keeps me hanging.  I don't know if he didn't have the courage last night or just wanted to ignore me.  He seems to be a player.

[PassionFlower09]

Don't send him anything regarding his birthday.  I think if you were going to say anything  it should have been at the bar. You could have said, "where ya been buddy"?

BUT, if  you reaaaaaaaaaally want to text something or call, just wait a few days and make it kind of casual- brief hello just to get the final feel since you seem unsure.

PassionFlower09

[specialmom]

Hm.  I guess you can send a birthday message but if he has ignored you in the recent past-----------  nothing more than happy birthday is appropriate.  

How did you two know each other before when you acknowledged each other enough to hang out?

[AnnieBrooke]

What RockRose said.  I'd make the last sentence "Hope you had a good night, and have a happy birthday!"  

[RockRose]

Why didn't you even acknowledge him?

If you write that text that you hope he has great birthday sex,  that will be the final nail in the coffin in your relationship,  dano,  kind of indicating you don't care if he goes and has sex with someone.

I think maybe you should text him "happy birthday,  sorry I didn't speak to you in the bar last night.   I had a migraine and felt out of it.   Hope you had a good night" -

Then,  next time you see him in public act like you actually recognize him.