Please Help, I am very much broken after marriage

[dk84]

I was in deep relation with my ex-girlfriend for 3 years, I live and work in Canada and she is in India, due to family mismatch, my parents didn't agree for our marriage. In last 2 years I came to India 3 times only to resolve our issue, but my parents were so strong enough in their talks and their smart moves didn't let me move forward.

I came to India again 4th time last month, they extremely pressurized and emotionally tourchered me to marry a girl of their choice, I cried and fought a lot but my parents way so selfish for their ego, respect and society. I married a girl to their choice last month and in few weeks my wife came to know about my past.

When I returned from India to Canada last month, I visited and regretted to my ex-girlfriend for what ever happened, I explained her the whole situation and she said if I can divorce my wife, she is very much willing to marry me and ready to wait for me. We both were in so much love with each other, that we completely forgot rest of the world and started thinking about rebuild our dreams and I asked her to wait for a month, while I discuss to my wife. We cried a lot with the feeling of love and in hope we will fix up things quickly, when she left me at Airport.

But suddenly, in last 10 days or so my ex-girlfriend's attitude changed, she started ignoring me, she said I did everything for my parents respect and never took care for her and there is no guarantee for success even if I come to resolve this matter again. She saw my wife's Facebook profile where she had posted our marriage pics and my girlfriend was so mad at me. My girlfriend's attitude has changed a lot in a week's time and I can sense she does not have anymore interest in me. Her family was so happy with me before my marriage but now they also doesn't support her anymore in keeping any relations or talks with me. I asked her to wait till February 28th as I am coming again, first she agreed and then said now there is no point to come as nothing can be done now since her parents are so angry to me.

I had expected my family and parents would respect me and will have regrets for punishing me in this forced marriage, but instead they ignored me completely and hardly care about me after marriage. my sisters and brother laws haven't spoken to me post marriage.

My wife and her parents also knew that I was not happy with this marriage even before marriage took place, but they never paid any attention as they also focused on their daughter and their image in society. Its not like I don't want to think about my wife at all, but if I am not happy and will be in misery condition, I can't make her feel better. Its pain only I can sense in me not rest of the world.

Because of the blunder of this forced marriage, I stopped talking to my parents' for a while and they started calling my ex-girlfriend and her parents and abused them even after they married me with girl of their choice. Finally my ex-girlfriend's family made her mind and realised that my parents would never accept her.

I know I am stupid, immature and selfish person, but my wife was never my first choice and will never be as I was married to my ex-girlfriend already in my dreams, We lived as husband -wife relations with her for 3 years in our long distance relationship. I can't live without my ex-girlfriend and in miserable condition today.

I am very sensitive and emotional person. I have lost my smile, my happiness, my relations, my love and passing through a very tough time, I can sense my happiness lies only in her as I loved her my heart out for 3 years and she doesn't want to comeback and major reason is my parents, but it seems she wants to walk away from my life.

Many times we had break ups in past, but every time one meeting of us, removed all differences and gaps as we missed each other a lot, whenever we had break up. We were used to talk over phone for hours, on Skype as we were like world for each other.

I may sound so stupid and selfish person but I can't see my life without her and my circumstances are so hard today, I know its nearly impossible to turn things back, but I am getting mad and sick person by seeing my life without her and always in imagination or miracle to get her back in my life. I know majority people believe is move on is the only solution, but I am feeling this as more painful.

I am leaving for my home country again for a month's time to see my friends over there, I am not sure what should I do ?

[TTinKKerBBell]

Ditto Life !!

I understand that much of this is about culture - but living and working in Canada gives You the opportunity to follow the advice given You by Life360

GoodLuck

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, your not selfish but to the contrary are doing things for other people and have respect for your parents and their values. If your not happy with the marriage then do as your heart suggests. I would also suggest that you find a place where you can live the life you want as there will come a time when all these people are out of your life anyway either by the aging process or other things that cause separations.
Go move somewhere and live your life. Let go of being a someones child and become the indepentant man that you desire. If your partent like that girl so much tell them to adopt her as their daughter but as for you, let it go!!