My guy to whome am going to get married to has problems in ejaculating. I am 24 and he is 27 we would get married soon we have tried sex several times but he was not able to ejaculate. Once he was able to ejaculate after trying for a long time with patience.
Usually i loose patience as he starts acting weird by sweating and shows his anger coz he is not able to ejaculate, he says am not showing any kind of feeling which arouses him. He asks me to react.
With me i sometimes feel and some times dont, but till now i have never got an orgasm but have reached upto that stage but as he changes something i dont, am scared of him coz he sweats a lot and tries so much and is not able to ejaculate and he blames me for it.
The pleasure which i get when i masturbate i do not get when i have sex.
I use the water gun for masturbating and thought that would be a problem and stopped masturbating completely but it dint help. I always felt we'll do it with patience when required but now am a little scared.
He's told me that he masturbates very often would that be a problem, he can ejaculate when he masturabtes he can even ejaculate when he lies on me with my clothes on and masturbates on me but inside me he cannot or may be we have to try very hard for which i loose patience. We both have a very good relationship and we love each other we get aroused and feel till the clothes are on or may be till his penis comes in me we feel but once he's in me some times i feel and he does'nt so he tries diff positions and even i stop feeling.
And we know only one position that is man on top and female down other than that we do not know any other position.
We have had open conversation on this and both of us felt we have a block especially he does when he starts he starts it not for pleasure but thinking that he should atleast do it this time.
Please advice us what can be done what should i do to make him ejaculate.
I am not sure I would go through with the marriage. This is probably mental block and not a physical one (since he can have an orgasm when masturbating) and he should go see a therapist to understand the nature of the problem. But going into a marriage with guilt, shame and fear predominant in the bedroom is really asking for future problems. I don't like that you are afraid of him due to how upset he gets over this. I would lovingly say to him that a therapist who specializes in sexual-emotional issues is the right way to go, go with him if you want but be sure he has a chance to talk to the therapist alone.
There are many books on different sexual positions. However, that doesn't sound like the source of your problem.
Are you in a position where you simply *must* marry him? I sure would not do it, at least while this is still unresolved.
Yes I * must * marry him and i always think it will be fine once we are married we cannot live without each other i dont mind getting some sperm in any form other than he himself ejaculating for getting a baby and just stay with him. But i always think about it.
ANd is this my problem by any chance since am not reacting he says i will have to make him feel my reacting and many other acts i do not know what to do. please advice and also give me some websites where i can see different positions..
Should he stop masturbating would that help. And how will i make him feel when he is in me when he's not in me i make him feel teh max but when he is in me i dont make him feel and for both of us its become a problem now and when we start having sex we do not think of the pleasure we think that we will have to do it this time.
Another thing which i would like to specify here is tell now we would have tried it not more than 5 or 6 times do you think we have to try it more number of times..
Anything which improves will be great. Please suggest..
I would go to the bookstore (or online to a bookstore) and look for books on sexual disfunction or sexual issues, and on sexual positions. I would also see about getting to a therapist who specializes in sexual issues.
Even getting to a regular therapist would help, since things are so locked up in anger, blame, shame and fear. It won't get better by magic, you two have to work at it in a constructive way. Doing that with a therapist's help would be better than how you are approaching it now.
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