Pornography & couples

[SeriousSam]

Pornography often has unrealistic ideals and I was talking to a couple of ladies and guys I know regarding this and I thought I would get other peoples opinions.

Given the diverse amount of adult oriented materials, should or shouldn't someone who is in a long range relationship try to get only materials that reflect the somatype and appearance of their partners.

The idea is that by doing this you are reinforcing sexual attractions and the role of your partner in sexual attraction and fantasies.  Thic conversation was brought on by a lady saying that she only watched pornography in which the male resembled ideals of her current partner at the time.

What are other people's perspectives on this?

[mayflowers]

Hysterical.  This is a new spin on porn.  No offense, I actually laughed reading this!  

First, I am against pornography b/c I think it encourages sexual abuse (most porn actors have been sexually abused, are drug addicts, other mental disorders).   Porn, IMO, perpetuates sexual abuse, addiction, ruins relationships and creates absurd standards that some people feel they need to live up to.  Here's a secret - girls don't really like swallowing *** or getting it all over their face.  It's not a beauty cream.

I don't like to watch other people have sex. I think it's weird to watch other people even kiss.  I only like watching my bf do it with me.  That's fun for me.  

I'm just going to put this out there.  Watching porn people that look like your mates sounds insecure to me.  Why don't you just film your own porn movie and watch that?  Get a book about sex (it's sad that you would need a book but ok some people aren't good at sex) and then do all the positions and film it.  With your mate.  Then watch it while eating popcorn and diet coke.  There's a new twist on date night.  

[jo929]

I agree with mayflowers porn is not for me.. jo

[SeriousSam]

Again this originated from a real conversation that a lady brought up. It is actually kind of funny though.

The abuse part you mention may have been true at one time but does not hold true now in America and never held true in America or other countries where there are unions etc. And some porn stars have actually held rather high political offices.  I believe you are thinking streetwalkers with pimps etc..

The reason she stated that she doesn't make her own movies and the women in the group concurred is that they don't want to end up with a movie featuring themselves enfing up on ebay as they are not professionals in that field but rather in other fields where such media attention would not meet their needs as they are not personally exhibitionists.

Again these are largely women in rather longterm dating relationships.  

BTW who do you think rights those books (lol)

[mayflowers]

I think men write those sex books.  Or really ugly women.  I've never read a sex book though.  Don't need too.  I have instincts.


You are incorrect about abuse not being part of pornography.  Watch Diane Sawyers documentary with Bella Donna.  Sad how young women have been tricked into doing porn.  I've known strippers that have been in porn and all were sexually abused as children.  All had drug and mental problems.  Never met a person with good self-esteem who did porn.


Porn stars in high political offices?  The only one I know is Ciciollina.  She's nuts.  Name some more b/c I don't know of any.

I think your friend is very insecure and most likely very unattractive therefore she feels threatened by attractive women.   She's also has control issues.  

[SeriousSam]

Most of those books on sex are actually wriiten by women, regarding womens pleasures. etc..

I stand corrected on the amount of adult entertainers in elected roles though I think you are unrealisic in assuming that women do not watch, read erotica etc..  I am fairly sertain that the majority of sex toys are not bought by men, for men etc.. and it is a multi-billion dollar industry.

Correct me if I am wrong but Diane Sawyer is an entertainer? On the view? or some similar show?

Is their a possibility that astute business women and men would ever choose a career of good pay, flexible schedules, and ego stroking as a career.  People who were located in other countries not just America?

After all many countries that are not so flabby as ours like nude beaches for whole families and they are not immoral they just have a healthy outlook towards sex.

Again though this is not a question regarding the validity of porn, rather a question regarding the preferences thereof.

[BabyHardiman]

I agree whole heartedly with Mayflowers first post.  She is my mentor.  :)

[BabyHardiman]

Also, Anna Nicole admitted to being sexually abused as a young girl... look at her path.  First stripping, then married some old man, then she later did porn movies.  

[Vance2335]

Anna Nicloe did not do porn movies. While a lot of people in the porn industy probably have had some abuse I do not believe that the majority of the industry has been abused as a kid. If you look at the industry it has almost become main stream. You have several people crossing over to legitimate movies/tv.

I do agree with mayflowers about making your own and using that as a tool. My wife and I have made our own and I find it more arousing then watching other people.

[SeriousSam]

Videos have a way of ending up where there not supposed to be so perhaps their unsaid concept was that buying movies of this type it was the next best thing to making their own?

[zodiacqueen]

Well, I'm a female that likes porn and always have.  And, SURPRISE, I wasn't sexually abused, and SURPRISE, again I'm not a sexual abuser either.  I think that porn is a good way to liven up a relationship, because we all know it can get boring after the 1st year together.  It's not easy to come up with new and exciting things when you're with the same person for a while.

UH OHHHH!!!  This must mean that I'm an ugly, unattractive female because I like porn!!  Give me a break, stop stereotyping those of us that watch and like porn.

[sammy73]

I've always enjoyed porn, and on plenty of occasions my wife and I have enjoyed reading magazines or watching videos together.

I've never specifically sought out porn featuring women that look like my wife - I'd rather have a variety.  I think, for men anyway, porn (amongst other things) helps satisfy our genetic urge to have sex with numerous women in a way that doesn't involve cheating on our partner, so you look for variety in your porn.  On the other hand, I do look for porn that involves the sort of situations that my wife and I have enjoyed in role play and fantasy, because those are the sort of things I'm into!  Also porn can help you discover or explore new areas - different positions, different fantasies and role plays that you can then enjoy together.

My wife has told me that whenever she has had a sex dream, it has always included me (although often with others involved too!), although the converse is not true.  Not sure what that tells us...

[BearHitch]

I think that lusting after another person is cheating in your heart and your mind, and on the same level in terms of "sin" and wrong as actually getting in bed with someone.  I think society has reinforced that men "need" sex and must look at other women as they are visual... seriously.  

In regards to porn, I personally think it is the same as if the couple were to each have a prostitute of the opposite sex to have foreplay with, or "warm up" if you will, and then have sex with each other.  I mean - who would want that for your relationship?  Well, naturally most people wouldn't - so why would you want porn?  

Just my 2 cents.

[BabyHardiman]

ANNA NICOLE DID DO PORN PEOPLE!!

[BabyHardiman]

Would you still want your partner looking at porn if you were suddenly disfigured?  How would that make you feel if your partner continued to look at porn?  By your comments you are obviously not an ugly woman, so what if you suddenly became ugly, or so you thought you were ugly?

Can I ask exactly how porn makes you feel when you watch it?  And if someone is not intersted in their partner after a YEAR, and that person can not turn them on without having to watch a STRANGERS body, then it's time to throw that "someone" to the curb and find a new piece of meat that "turns you on".  


Just my opinion....

I agree with BearHitch "I think society has reinforced that men "need" sex and must look at other women as they are visual... seriously."  this is total milarkey, MEN DO NOT NEED VISUAL STIMULATION!  Women claim they need a constant companion who is intimate, understanding, makes great money, doesn't mind taking out the trast, and who will just be a close friend when you need one.. are those things too much to ask for?  Nope!  But men need VISUAL STIMULATION, oooohhhh plleeaasseee, let's see how many of those women who support that statement have men who cheat on them.. and then we'll see if they still think it's OK.  

[SeriousSam]

Anna nicole did playboy.  That is not porn.  LOL for quite sometime playboy really has  been more for the articles!

[Agiesmom]

What mayflowers said.  It's full of exploited, broken, abused, and/or addicted women.  Healthy, well-adjusted, mentally stable, addiction-free women choose other paths.

Oh, and Sam, Playboy IS pornography--if you go by the dictionary definition of it:

Pornography
NOUN:
1. Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.
2. The presentation or production of this material.

[zodiacqueen]

My post was in response to Mayflower's stereotyping of people that watch and like porn  My point was that NOT all people that watch porn fit her description of a sexual abuser, ugly, or have been sexually abused.  That was a bit narrow-minded.  By the way, I would describe myself as average-looking-so my previous post wasn't meant to imply that I was a total hottie.  I was sarcastic in that post.

I, for one, like it and get turned on by it.  A long term sexual relationship gets boring after a while, so whatever works to liven things up!  So, to me, I'd rather watch porn than cheat on a boyfriend.  Trust me, if women had the choice of which they'd prefer-I can guarantee that women would agree that they'd rather have their men watch porn RATHER than have them sleep around.

[Agiesmom]

Where exactly did Mayflowers stereotype people who WATCH and LIKE porn?

I only read comments by her about people who are IN the movies and/or ARE strippers.  And she commented on Sam's friend--saying she viewed her preference for "types" in movies as insecure.  And she said that men or ugly women likely WROTE how-to sex books.  But I can't find where she comments on people who watch and like it.

[SeriousSam]

"Healthy, well-adjusted, mentally stable, addiction-free women choose other paths."

HOw do you know this? Was their a study-god brought down a stone tablet etc.???

[PrettyKitty1]

I agree with zodiacqueen.  You can actually have a stable, comfortable, sexually active relationship and still watch and like porn. Some people think it isn't right. But there are just so many couples out there who like to watch. Watching is part of pleasure too, and some people like to watch other people have sex. Anything wrong with it? Nop, you spent YOUR money to get the CD.

I have to say, I have never been sexually abused and neither has my hubby. Still, we watch porn, the kama sutra etc. It is a part of learning new ways of pleasing your partner. I don't see it in a derrogative manner towards women. If you notice, a lot of women have built an empire off of their movies. They have a solid career and who's in control? It's them! And we also have to admit..some women LIKE SEX. You might see a simple secretary, sorry, executive assistance, or candy seller and they're crazy about sex. I once met a man, very average guy, the type of guy you'd never think has any life at all, yet he was crazy about sex, and its industry, and he was a business guy I met at the gym years ago. He said he enjoyed watching porn with his girlfriend...another way of getting arouse without doing anything really...
So, while it may be true that some porn stars have been abused as children, I also believe that human nature in general, abused or not, altered or not is to LIKE pleasure. Whether you find it in your own books, filming yourself, pleasuring yourself, or watching others is your own self. We have to accept the fact that not everyone who does or watches porn is mentally unstable. And something to add to Zodiacqueen's post: Who are you hurting by watching porn?

[mayflowers]

It's sad to me how many of you have been mislead about porn & the trail of abuse against both men and women.

Zodiacqueen - If you need porn to get aroused with your boyfriend of 1 yr, there is something wrong in your relationship.  Really, that's not normal after just one year.  Geez. Pathetic.  

I didn't say that people who watch porn are unattractive - I said that ugly women write sex books.  They have to b/c no man would want to have sex with them otherwise unless they were willing to do "anything".   I also think that S.Sam's friend is probably unattractive b/c from what he's written about her issue, she seems very insecure.  Just a hunch.

Sam - where do you get your information? Do you have links to studies about pornography?  When I was in high school and went to job fairs, I never saw the booth for porn actors.  Even porn actors don't want their children in the business.   Would you like your son to be a porn actor?  Would it make you a proud papa?

Perty Kitty - by watching porn you are perpetuating abuse against men and women.   You are part of the problem.

By watching and paying for porn is like buying fake Chanel bags in NYC.  You are supporting people that are criminals and do bad things to other people.

Watch who you choose to give your money too.  You'd be surprised at who it's actually helping.  It would probably turn your stomach if you really knew.

[mayflowers]

There are a percentage of sexually abused people who turn around and sexually abuse other people. This could be what is happening with the women "in charge" in the porn industry.

[PrettyKitty1]

To you, I'm part of the problem. What problem? I am in a healthy relationship, happier than ever. This world will always be the way it is because we're all different, think differently, and heck I'm happy I don't think like you do.

To me, you're an extremely close-minded person who can't, for once, see that there's actually people out there getting something good off of something you THINK is bad. Have you been in any of those people's shoes (porn stars) to speak so comfortably about who they are and how they feel? Why can't you accept the fact that SEX isn't bad to watch!!! If porn stars want to do this job...who are they hurting? They're getting paid for it any way, while you're all being dramatic about it. Geezzz...

[PrettyKitty1]

"There are a percentage of sexually abused people who turn around and sexually abuse other people. This could be what is happening with the women "in charge" in the porn industry."

Did you know that about  85% of the greatest serial killers in the history of mankind have displayed abusive behavior at an early age by torturing animals and cutting them open ALIVE, cutting their friend's faces at school etc? Many of them come from a good family with values. And while I understand that some porn stars have been sexually abused, tell me how a 3 y.o (who then turned into a maniac killer) got messed up in the head by watching porn. Can't you at least agree with me that some people are born with real problems in the head causing them to become devients in society without having to be sexually abused?

This world has way more serious problems than PORN.

[cowgirlnerd]

I believe it depends on the couple.  Myself, when my exhusband wanted to look at it or look on the internet, it made me feel like he was cheating on me - right under my nose.  It wasn't good for us.  If both people enjoy it, then that's their business.

My ex had an INCREDIBLE appetite and during my low periods of depression, that was the LAST thing on my mind, and he started looking a lot.  He told me that was the biggest mistake he ever made because it ate away at our trust.  Part of me was glad he was doing that instead of "physically cheating" (not a doubt he never cheated on me ever), and another part felt really really disappointed in him and his vows.

Like I said, I think it's a judgement call for the couple.  I have friends that both get into it, and it works for them.  I just always heard "lust in the heart ...adultry."    

Sam, you get into some interesting conversations, that is without a doubt!  :)

[mayflowers]

perty kitty - sometimes people become numb to situations that are unhealthy.  They begin to justify it in their minds that it's ok and healthy when if they stepped back away and looked at the situation without emotion, they would see that what they are watching is actually rape and sexual abuse.  No one in their right mind would ever chose pornography as a profession.  No one.  

Our culture is sexually repressed in many ways and often when a culture is like this, you start to see people filling certain needs in an unhealthy way.  That's what has happened to you and zodiacgirl.  You are probably very concervative people, sexually repressed, and watching porn makes you feel "ok" about those dirty feelings you have.  I'm right aren't I?

Porn is not mainstream.  I have not doubt that any of you would ever want to hang out with porn actors or want your children to be in the the porn industry.  

What I see in all your posts is this need to justify to me that porn is ok.  What you are really doing is justifying it to yourself, you just think I'm your target when it's really yourself you are trying to convince.

[slow_healer]

Re: original question.

Before I met my partner, I was enjoyed a wide variety of fantasies/ideals. He did too. Now that we're dating, I don't expect his previous enjoyment of variety to wane any more than mine. If we're together in twenty+ years, it'll be because we choose and worked hard to be - but not because we brainwashed ourselves into it.

SeriousSam, I think your friend feels guilty about viewing/enjoying porn, and this proposed idea is a rationale which allows her to alleviate that guilt. However I'm not going to argue whether or not she's moral/healthy/society's *****/etc for enjoying porn.

[zodiacqueen]

Here you go- Agiesmom-DIRECT QUOTE from Mayflowers first post (cut an paste)- "Porn, IMO, perpetuates sexual abuse, addiction, ruins relationships and creates absurd standards that some people feel they need to live up to."   The women must be ugly that are into porn/sex books-I felt that is what was implied.

Mayflowers, what makes you the know-it-all sex expert??  Who the h-e-l-l are you to decide what's normal and what's not?  How do you know that your man is not totally bored with your sex life??  You must be a closed-minded nun that only believes in the missionary position??  How do you know that your "so-called" sexual instincts are any good?  If men get bored, they WILL cheat, and so will some women.  Let's hope that you're not boring your man to tears!!!  He may not tell you because he won't want to hurt your feelings.

Oh, and please, define what is normal sexual behavior, since you are SOOOO sure of yourself as an expert.  I'll be happily awaiting your response, as will so many other "abnormal" people that like porn.  

[PrettyKitty1]

I really don't think you're my target. I don't think you're a target at all. You addressed me first, remember? I commented as a response to, really, SSam's post about porn, not you. You were the first one to say I have a problem, which, you can say or write whatever you want, I could care less about you and your conservative ways. Even so...I think you're a very aggressive poster.

I smile when you say I have needs to fill. Are you really serious? Did you really read when I said I enjoy watching porn with my husband? Why can't you just accept the fact that there are some people involved in a healthy relationship who like porn. I don't watch porn by myself, mayflowers; so I don't understand your statement of "me having to fill needs" if, after all, I have my man right next to me to please me. I think you should try it with your boyfriend. I don't think yo've ever had. I am not convincing myself that what I'm doing is right. I don't have to.


Word of advice, don't judge people for liking something which doesn't cause any harm, because to be honest, I do not harm anyone when watching porn right next to my dh, doors closed.  Don't just go ahead and say something that's not true. The person you're talking to may be laughing at you, thinking how ridiculous your statement is, because you really don't know them. You're saying something completely untrue about me. You are pretending to analyse me psychologically. You fail.  You want to be right and and you will say anything, even if it's something completely naive and foolish. How can I be sexually repressed when I am living my relationship to its max, porn and all? Of course, I don't expect you to understand what it is like to live a relationship at its max because you obviously have restrictions like, not watching porn.
I do not agree with you. You are not right about me, and you're very disrespectful. Please don't waste your time trying to analyse me and my personality as you have no clue how to do it. That's what I have to say.

[Cootos]

My personal view on it is that porn is only meant for Single men who cant get any or Teenage boys experimenting....the only way I would think it was right in a relationship is if the couple were to watch it together for ideas.....if you do it on your own without your partner being aware....you are hiding it....which will or does cause an issue!! I had a relationship where after I had a baby and porn was his new woman....it was one extra thing that destroyed our relationship because he used porn more than me! PORN IS DISCUSTING! Those women are trash! Men think society makes it okay and its normal for men.......SO NOT TRUE!!!! Seriously why would any man have the need to go behind your back and look at other womens bodies rather than your own to get turned on?? That's so selfish and rude!!! They should be happy and turned on just looking at your body! Not someone else's!! Porn can destroy relationships and most importantly a women's self esteem and self confidence if it's hidden in a relationship!!! Believe me I've been there!!!!

[zodiacqueen]

Look at the Serious drama you've started-Good god, this has turned into a mess!!  Did you do this on purpose or what??

[SeriousSam]

Not really, but I forgot how obsessed about Porn some of the more religious enthusiasts are.  LOL

Anybody remember when they were doing the decency laws for the US and Congressman had to take porn to review. LOL


MY REAL DESIRE... was to get the viewpoints primarily of women, maybe men on what they view and desire.  Instead I got a lot posts regarding the apparent ugly women and pimply men who have apparently fueled a multi-billion dollar industry/

I wonder who some of these people think buy the Sybian a 2 thousand dollar sex toy for women?  the ugly degenerate women with large disposable incomes, or the pimply super geeks who are desperate to see tight sweaters LOL

[SeriousSam]

If only ugly women are randy, church women are beautiful, does that follow that all beautiful women on topless beaches are chaste virgins only there to show sinners the benefit of their gods?

If only men are interested in porn, why are romance novels so raunchy, Chippendale shows packed with women, victoria secrets, and fredericks of holywood successful, and many porn movies based now on the most common movies based on women's fantasies?

BTW Which show did David Duchovny get started on?

Just some thoughts.

[SeriousSam]

So what do you think about those disgusting Europeans (Western & Eastern), Slavs, Ancient Romans, Greeks (ancient & modern)??

Or the fact that the higher someones education the more liberal their views tend to be regarding sex?

[PrettyKitty1]

I agree with you....women fantasize, and not just the repressed ones but the active ones. I think the more sexually active women fantasize even more...the more you experience, the more you want to experience and the more you wonder, I think. What's kind of hard is to break the ice. Too much obsolete ideals and outdated beliefs refrain people from enjoying their partners a lot. I am all for couple enjoyment. If this is what you like to do as a couple then go for it I'd say. I've read so many threads of women frustrated because their sex life has become dull. None of them say: I've tried watching porn with him. Some of the answers I've seen here have been: "Get a porn movie and watch it together to bring up the spark"


...........and just to clarify even further...I am not PertyKitty...never have been, never will be. I knew pertykitty used to post here, or still does, I don't know..as well as Barnbabe and many users who aren't around anymore.

[Agiesmom]

Zodiac, I can't see where you interpret that from that particular quote.  She's talking about what PORN does, not what those who watch and like porn do or look like.

That said, I agree with her later statement saying that viewing it perpetuates it and contributes to it.  If people didn't watch it (rent it and purchase it), it wouldn't exist.  Simple supply and demand.

I also agree with her best point, imo--no one who gets off on porn would be proud or happy if their daughter got involved in it. But those women are ALL SOMEONE'S daughter, sister, future wife and/or mother.

Oh, and here ya go, Sam:
http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/laydenhealthy.cfm
Now may I see your links verifying your statements?

[SeriousSam]

I like to listen and with a background that touches on sales and psychology people like to talk about every aspect of their lives with me.

[SeriousSam]

Sites run by religious groups do not constitute proof but..
http://www.uncjin.org/Statistics/WCTS/wcts.html
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/online_artcls/pornography/prngrphy_rape_jp.html

If Europe has pornography, and pornography produces serial killers, why is it America has more rape, drugs etc than Denmark or Germany?

[SeriousSam]

Honestly of course I would prefer that the women in my family choose different careers!  But who am I too judge?  I always thought it would be fun if I could become a part time male stripper.  But alas, my one attempt I made more money putting the clothes back on.

Seriously though I have a laundry list of careers I would prefer they not follow because I am not fond of them.  PE teacher, municipal police officer, state worker, prison guard, school counselor, an Alaskan wolf hunter etc.

But I wanted to be a Mercenary, a scientist, wet ops agent, dentist, genetic engineer at different times and would like to think my family would have supported me regardless as I would my kids.

I would prefer my kids grow to be confident, capable and responsible whatever they choose to do.

[SeriousSam]

Images of the flesh.
Porno-flesh
Graph-image     Are not new.  As you can check yourself.
http://****.***

now can we all return to the original topic since the world has not poope into flames over the last three thousand years?

[SeriousSam]

ORIGINAL POST

Actually she prefers the women be like her also.  I think she is able to fit it it better in her fantasies, without having to have the risk of videotaping herself as some members of her family are in politics, she is active in her church, and has quite a few people that she would prefer not to have naked pictures of her.

[zodiacqueen]

Sam you state that :

"Or the fact that the higher someones education the more liberal their views tend to be regarding sex?"

Does this mean that the "nuns" posting on this forum are really STILL in the womb or one-celled ova or spermatazoa that haven't EVEN been fertilized yet???

[SeriousSam]

I like the free flow of speech...

[zodiacqueen]

WELL??  We are all waiting for some sex education from such an expert as yourself.  We shouldn't be watching porn, too sick and sinful.  SOOO what do you suggest?????

[BabyHardiman]

Anna Nicole DID DO PORN, for the last time!!  I saw it with my very own eyes, why would I lie?

[MrsOckert]

It's a choice.  Just like the other question about men looking at other women.  Some posters said all men look.  Some people here are suggesting there is nothing wrong with porn.  I disagree.  I think there's a lot wrong with it, but enough other people have made comments about it.

My husband and I were talking about this at dinner.  He said there's always temptation out there for people, but you choose.  To look or look away.  Focus on YOUR spouse or fantasize about other women.  It's a choice.

Thank goodness I'm married to someone who chooses to focus on me and our marriage.  My self esteem couldn't handle anything else.

[BabyHardiman]

You are one lucky lady!  My fiance' has porn in our closet, both movies and magazines.  He even has a magazine that featured an ex-girlfriend of his from years ago.  I am not sure which magazine it is because I REFUSE to allow him to tell me.  I try very hard not to be controlling when it comes to his freedoms of choice... like you said "To look or look away.  Focus on YOUR spouse or fantasize about other women.  It's a choice."  Of course I do obsess over those darn magazines, I even look at them to see if I tell if they have been shuffled lately.  I am in love with the father of my child, and I realize our situation is not ideal by any standards.  We are unmarried, we have  child together, he has three other beautiful little girls with two other women, and life sometimes feels so crowded and clustered.  I have tried to justify his need for escape from reality, and maybe that is one way he can escape.  It angers me that he has spread-eagle layouts of his ex-girlfriend right under his nose all the time, but I keep telling myself "it's just a bragging tool, or it's just a keepsake".... their relationship was very unhealthy from what he told me.  She already had a baby when they met, and she was stripping to make quick and easy cash while being able to stay at home during the day with her child.  Later she was asked to move to CA by her employer to work in the club they had there, then she was featured in some kind of magazine for strippers for club advertisements.  He was asked to move with her when she left, but without going into detail about his situation then, I'll just say he had previous commitments and could not go with her.  I often wonder what kind of life he would have had with her there.  Last he heard she had done a couple of low grade porn movies.

My ex husband was into porn... I believe he had EVERY Jenna Jameson movie ever published.  He had the movie with Anna Nicole in it, that is how I know for a fact she did porn.  The movie was filmed in her chunky days, before her reality TV show.  I tried to look at porn with him, but it disgusted me.  It felt like he was cheating on me, and he spent HOURS daily looking at it on his computer.

By the way Zodiacqueen - if you do a search in MedHelp archives you will see MANY MANY MANY posts started about porn.  

[SeriousSam]

And the post go both ways actually.

This particu;ar post was never meant as aforum for the pros or cons of the particular subject since the few of you who have posted the cons as you have seen them, seem to post them on all possible opportunities.

This going to sound cruel but looking at other posts your lot doesn't seem particularly happy with themselves.

Depession, substance abuce, suicide attempts, insecurities, and yet on other posts you guys have burned me for saying teenagers shouldn't get married ?

Why the double standards?

[mayflowers]

If your lady friend is so pro-porn, then why doesn't she make a porn video?  That way, when her hubby wants to jack off, he can pop in her video.  She won't have to worry about him watching someone else who looks nothing like her to make her jealous.

Everyone who is ok with porn should do at least one video so they know what it's like.  I think it's two-faced to not want to be in a porn video  but it's ok for other people.  Why are people afraid of your co-workers or church buddies seeing them?  Who cares if someone sees you?  Maybe they are really afraid that no one will want to rent their video? (LOL)

As for people not being particularly happy with themselves, you are in that same group Sam.  I've seen your posts and there's a lot of woman bashing in it.  

[cowgirlnerd]

I love it - you always get something going, and look at the varied opinions.  You NEVER fail to disappoint in getting some good intellectual comments started!  Bravo!

Rach

[SeriousSam]

Ya got me.  I must be a misogynist!!  I admit to being sick and testy but given that I think you look at my posts so that you can follow and post asinine things like that at least be honest.  I am 5 to 10 times on men and their responsibilities than I a women.

[SeriousSam]

Does anybody actually post on topic anymore?  Or are there just random people who have no lives, in some type of religious mental hospital who spew junk from the 700 club randomly?

[Agiesmom]

Sam, I have to admit that I thought the same thing as Mayflowers when I read your comments about other people being unhappy, referencing their other posts.  I found it ironic that you would point the finger like that.

I'm not seeing where this has gone that far off topic. Porn is rather controversial and you can pretty much count on having someone jump in with their opinions about it when you post a topic containing the word “pornography”.  Unfortunately, that's what tends to happen a lot of the time and there is no way to control how people respond.

And I hate to blow your theory about the people who dislike porn, but I happen to be liberal and I'm not religious and I've never been in a mental hospital and I've never seen the 700 Club.  I simply view it as a violation of human rights--exploitation, degradation...I just find it sad.  Sad for the women in the industry and sad for their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc.  It's just sad.  And people who watch it and like it perpetuate it.  And they will naturally try to justify watching and enjoying it by claiming that only religious zealots think it's bad, that the women are grown adults making adult decisions, and trying to say that the people in the business are predominantly happy, healthy, well-adjusted, addiction-free and have never been sexually (or otherwise) abused, and they claim that while they may prefer that their daughter choose another career, they would support her if she wanted to star in an anal gang bang movie-- but I don't buy it.  It would just be too ugly to admit all that and still rent, buy, watch, and like porn.

[tfernandez]

I agree 100% with you mayflowers and agiesmom!  Yay for you very well put with everything you said!

And for this Sam person, don't act like they got off topic on this one AT ALL.

"The idea is that by doing this you are reinforcing sexual attractions and the role of your partner in sexual attraction and fantasies.  Thic conversation was brought on by a lady saying that she only watched pornography in which the male resembled ideals of her current partner at the time.

What are other people's perspectives on this?"

Did they not give the perspective you wanted to hear or something, is that your reason for being so rude back to them ? Don't ask such controversial questions if you don't want a debate.

"Or are there just random people who have no lives, in some type of religious mental hospital who spew junk from the 700 club randomly?"

Why so rude? For THEM being the ones with no lives YOU sure have made more comments on this thread than they. Scroll up you have made a total of 18 POSTS and mayflowers made 1/3 that many, only 6. Tell me now WHO has no life? Exactly.

You seem rather judgmental and just plain idiotic to me.

And for Zodiacqueen,

"WELL??  We are all waiting for some sex education from such an expert as yourself.  We shouldn't be watching porn, too sick and sinful.  SOOO what do you suggest?????"

Stop acting like a high school student being so immature and calling mayflowers out on and online thread. Come on,  you are pathetic. And just because she can actually sound somewhat put-together and articulate (instead of ignorant insults you directed at her, her husband, and their relationship) doesn't mean she considers herself an "expert". You've made yourself look like a fool, and how dare you make such a personal attack on her for merely having an opinion!

Just because YOUR man will cheat if you don't let him watch porn or if he gets bored doesn't mean every man is like that. I'm glad to say I know firsthand there are men who would stand by their woman no matter what, it's too bad you can't find one. Is that where all this anger is coming from? You "bored your man to tears" and he cheated or left? If you want to answer no, just remember "he may not have told you because he didn't want to hurt your feelings" Sound familiar? I don't feel bad for you, you deserve to be so bitter and sad, go ahead and take it out on those of us with happy marriages and men who aren't attracted to anyone else but us =) Once again, you're just pathetic take your insults elsewhere.

[treazzure007]

i just don't believe the problem lies in a mate watching porn but in people having no self-control.  everyone is so into addictions in today's society.  perhaps it's because we have more time on our hands now, idk.  you are to do nothing to excess.  nothing.  enjoying watching some naked couple go at it when you're horny is nothing, but not having the sense or will to stop watching them day in and out  24/7 is what's crazy.  addicted to drugs, pills, alcohol, cigarettes, porn, text messaging, partying....the list goes on.  people need to take more responsibility for themselves and control themselves in every area of their lives is what it's really all about

[SeriousSam]

The original post is not "Is porn good or bad" obviously from the original post that was not even a concern.  And the comments posted by those few endearing preachers who wanted to spread their ministry were in fact on the line of everyone is either ugly, god hates porn (yet he molested the young virgin Mary), or you are a criminal.

None of those were anyway on topic, or even tied together in a manner that was vaguely relevant.

[SeriousSam]

I think no life applies rather well if a person has over a thousand posts in less than 6 months listed on their account, or if they follow every forum that you post or create and just bog it down with nonsensical replies.

I did admire your response until you made a big deal about other people using ad homimen attacks and used one yourself.

Again the original post was what people thought regarding the choice of what people watched. One lady had in fact done "dirty" pictures for her husband.  But instead of posts that were on topic largely a lot of tawdry propoganda got posted on the topic that was on the line of your ugly, smelly, evil, or junk where the person goes off on qusai religious rants about teenagers, drugs or men.

All of the people in the "water cooler topic" were women and it was a discussin because one lady brought it up when they were talking about sex and someone said something regarding a playgirl magazine.  Quite honestly in the context of the original comment I thought what she said regarding her and her fiancee watching "dirty movies" was rather sweet and how she preferred to watch people who were like her.  If anyone had read the original post, it starts with me giving a small caveat but I  do wonder given the voluminous amount of advice some of these posters have given on other topics if they paid any attention to the original posts then as well as they do now..  

[mayflowers]

Oh Sam, now you are being just plain silly.  You've been on MH since Nov 07 and have abt 700 posts.  I've been here since May 07 and have 1300 posts.   If I got no life, you certainly aren't far behind.  

[zodiacqueen]

Why am I detecting soooo much hostility?  And, directed at me?  I am shocked, but I'll forgive you, since it's probably your hormones.  You're probably a very sweet person.  This terrible outburst would have NOTHING at all to do with paranoia, now would it???

Don't worry, I'm sure that your man loves you and will never, ever cheat on you. I am sure that he won't even steal a glance at another woman.  He wouldn't even dare to think about another woman ever again, especially while your pregnant!!  He'll probably daydream about diapers, waking up every couple of hours, spit up, etc.  Hey, some men think pregnant women are hot!!   You have nothing to worry about, so stop the hostility!!

[SeriousSam]

Except:

I'm not married or involved with anyone.  So other than redcross work, weekend dad, education and an occassional date & some volunteer stuff I have no life!

But... who are you neglecting?

Are they watching porn even now while you keep up with all the topic strings?

Something to think about...

Sorry when I'm sick I get irritable.

[becca_3456]

Porn is not allowed in my house. I think it is disgusting. I agree with mayflowers, no woman wants c u m on her face or in her mouth. To me porn it the reason we have so many child molesters in this world. To men a p u ss y is a p u ss y. They dont care if it is a 10 year old girl or a 60 year old woman as long as she has a vagina. Porn desensitizes men to the female form. Women just become t its and a$$ to them. Why do people even need porn? If you have a warm able body laying next to you, then you dont need porn. Why cant men and women just use their imagination?

My husband respects and loves me enough not to look at porn. I am all the woman he needs. If he has the urge to see a naked woman all he has to do is pull back our bed sheets. We have a very healthy and great sex life and we dont need porn for excitement, we excite each other enough without using fake moans and c u m shots.

[SeriousSam]

Good for you!

So since you had nothing to post on topic couldn't you find somewhere more relevant to post?

[SeriousSam]

BTW why do they have special diets for men or women, to help change the taste of their genital secretions?

[xx_BZR_xx]

stallone started as a porn star, FYI

[becca_3456]

"So since you had nothing to post on topic couldn't you find somewhere more relevant to post?"
  
OK could you not find a better TOPIC to post? Who give a s h i t about what type of porn to look at? If you look at porn, more power to you. If you dont look, then I guess you have a clean and decent mind not perverted by nasty images of naked, trashy women and grossly, icky men.

Also, WHAT the heck are you talking about? I dont know why they special diets for men
and women to change the taste of their genital secretions.

[Jamie21]

Play boy is still considered porn, if it wasn't you wouldn't have to be 18 and older to buy it, and also and it still has images relating to sexual content.

Mayflowers- Who are you to judge people who do happen to watch porn with their spouses or partners? Quite frankly that isn't any of your business one way or the other, and also it doesn't make the people who do watch it together ugly, and incompitent when it comes to sex either. Also, being so high and mighty when it comes to how well you are in bed isn't exactly doing you any favors, and makes you look/sound worse then the actual women who do play in porn movies.

Also, for all you who sit there and talk about how men don't need visual stimulation etc etc and that is why they don't need porn and blah blah blah. Do any of you actually know what it is like to live with someone who suffers from having a porn addiction? Or did you not know that pornography is the hardest addiction to break, yes that means its harder ot break compared to smoking, drugs etc. Councellors deal with men who have pornography addictions all the time, and that is what they say it is the hardest addiction to break out there today. Number one smoking and all those other addictions are physical, pornography is actually mental, and it affects a males life alot, he actually gets to the point where he doesn't want to do it, but he can't control the urges and he doesn't know why he does it, eventually especially if they are married to a wonderful wife that they love, and have wonderful kids and they would do anything for them, and yes they have a hard time controling the urges. Doesn't make them love their family any less, but the point is it gets to be so bad that they end up feeling like they want to die, and some think about suicide, and how bad of a husband they are, and that they are not worth it, and that their wifes probably deserve better. Its funny you all sit here and talk about porn like its nothing, and yet I don't think any of you realize how serious pornography affects boys, teenagers, and men. So if you think men aren't addicted to porn, it is actually a very common battle alot of men have. Granted not all men have this problem, but there are men who do.
So no I agree I  do not agree with pornography at all, but when you really don't know how it affects men and their minds I would really be careful on what you say. By saying men don't need this, sure they don't need it, but once they get that image in their head of one of those women, and especially if it is an addiction they are facing it triggers an uge and sometimes they can't control it. So for the rest of their life they battle trying to keep these images in a safe place, and if they are triggered then they learn to not give in and deal with it. So yes this means watchng a movie and it happens to have a sexual scene in it, or a girl in a bikini, or something, heck even the sunshine girl. Pornography is very corruptive and unfortunately it is becoming more acessable for boys, teenagers and whatever else.
But, I feel before any of you really know what pornography can do to a person I would try to know all the facts first.

[Agiesmom]

Uh, you're all over the map on that one.  Playboy isn't porn, it's none of anyone's business if you watch porn, porn watchers aren't ugly (but no one said they were), but you are dealing with a horrible porn addiction that is really affecting you and your family and you caution people about it.

And Mayflowers just posted her opinion--like you and everyone else here.

But be careful...Sam likes to try to control how people respond to his posts and you didn't answer his specific question (about the preference of the appearance of the "actors" in pornographic movies) and he will likely spank you for that and tell you to post elsewhere.

All the best to you.

[Agiesmom]

(Typo--"Playboy IS porn".)

[SeriousSam]

This is going to be fun...

http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste---10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/sn/humanbody/truthaboutfood/flashapp/ram/spermtaste?size=16x9&bgc=000000&nbram=1&bbram=1&nbwm=1&bbwm=1

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/404055

http://www.dinahproject.com/articles_view_details.asp?id=181

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/12870

[SeriousSam]

In the interest of pleasing people who think playboy is accurately pornagraphy as porn literally means pictures of flesh let's all list three pieces of historical erotica you would like to burn to increase the moral fiber of the world!!


1) All bibles as the song of Solomon is a way big turn on with strawberry scented candles, massage oil and a fireplace.

2) The picture "Aphrodite (dang goddess of lust/love)

3) David....  The statue that the degenerate sculptor supposedly made using his young lover...  Good thing he's dead and no one will ever remember his name.

[becca_3456]

WHY in the H eLL are you giving me info on better tasting genitals!!!!! Did I ask you for this information? NO!!!! I have NO idea why you would think I would CARE about this.

[Agiesmom]

Sure, Sam.  If you view those things as "sexually explicit material whose primary purpose is to sexually arouse"--then sure...you can call those things pornography if that is how you view those things.  I, personally, doubt that Michelangelo was intending to sexually arouse people with his sculpture, but I won't debate his intentions--or the intentions of Solomon or Botticelli--since we cannot ask any of them about their intentions at this point in time.  (That was an amusing post, though.  ;))

[SeriousSam]

Those are all things that were considered scandalous at teams though!  David for a while had a fig leaf, Aphrodite narrowly missed being destroyed, and the Song was cut from some versions of the bible at one time!  So they were in there time, cutting edge pornography!

[SeriousSam]

"Porn is not allowed in my house. I think it is disgusting. I agree with mayflowers, no woman wants c u m on her face or in her mouth."

This is what you posted!  Obviously if people are changing the diets of their partners to change their flavor, well then some people obviously DO enjoy all aspects of oral sex!

[becca_3456]

I enjoy oral sex but I dont think that a special diet would make getting shot in the back of the throat with c u m any more enjoyable. I dont need my husbands semen to taste like pineapple in order to give him pleasure. I dont LIKE c u m in my mouth but because I love my husband I do what I have to do.

I was actually referring to the trashiness of porn and the infamous c u m shot. There is nothing more disgusting than a woman getting pounded while she has this constipated look on her face and then some ***** squirts c u m all over her face. Very degrading if you ask me.  

[SeriousSam]

Have you every really paid attention to how retarded men and women look during good sex!! Seriously!!! ROTFL ....

THANK YOU!!!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!

ROTFL

[SeriousSam]

Thank you so much for the laugh becca!  I really needed that!  Well maintainng a topic thread I get a Zero!!


Pulling bizzarre and funny people out of the woodwork I think I deserve at least a B+

[becca_3456]

I dont think bizarre is the word to describe me. I would use intelligent:)

[SeriousSam]

You can use whatever word you want however i do not think you meet the definition I would use, however have you tried the one for narcism?

"If a man is of superior character and intelligence he will, under the instruction of a wise director, at once see into the essence of the thing and understand that this is not a matter of stages and processes. He has an instant insight into his own Original Nature. So we read in the sutra that ordinary beings change in their thoughts but the Sravaka knows no such changes [which means that he never comes out of his meditation of absolute quietude]."   Mazu

[Trialanderror]

Can you drop all the philosophy and cynicism for a sec?

I meant to reply to your original question at least 69 comments ago: I don`t share your friend`s idea that a porn actor should look like one`s partner. Rather all of them should pull a bag over their heads so I don`t have to see their fake excitement and exhausted misery. If I were to watch all the pathetic acting combined with a face and body type that resembles my partner, how would I ever face him again without those images in my mind. Even porn that may not feature abused and drugged out actors can stifle the ability to focus on one`s partner and his uniqueness. At least for myself I am very cautious about destroying this fine piece of art that two partners in a sexual or other relationship can form.
I also wanted to add that porn viewing and exchange may have been extremely common among guys and some girls but the viewing of cruelty and violence, mostly unrelated to sexual acts, has almost taken its place. There are 95% guys at my workplace, and when they excitedly exchange emails, movies or stories, it is almost always of gruesome content. Thanks to the internet. Pornography is starting to feel harmless in comparison.

[SeriousSam]

Thank you. LOL

It is true in America it is rare to see anything with sex but just the other day switching channels they had a movie where someone was shot one body part at a time until he died and that is ok in our society go figure!

Thanks for your feedback on the real & ORIGINAL topic.

I had actually give up on that happening.

[Trialanderror]

What is your take on your original topic?

Sometimes you are enticing people to state very general opinions instead of replying specifically because your questions are either hypothetical or from a friend`s point of view, without releasing much about yourself. That`s the proper and neutral way in research projects but heck, most people prefer that personal touch versus being knocked over the head for sharing their experience and values. So, your turn to come out of the closet of your topic...

P.S. Yes, that`s a typical example on cruelty in the media you mentioned. Even though cruelty has been around forever, it is the mass distribution, just like pornographic material, that can invade insensitive AND sensitive people`s minds and wreak havoc. I happened to see a few porn movies that were confiscated by the police at an age I did not even know how to spell s e x. Not a good start. And as for cruelty - a beheading and cannibalism happened on a bus not long ago where the cannibal collected some of the victim`s body parts in a rush. Well, with Halloween coming up, I just saw that a well-known drugmart sells coffin-shaped containers with edible gummi "body parts" - and it is nothing sexual. It is all too much. It is time to become really old-fashioned again.

[SeriousSam]

Actually I thought the lady who originally brought up the topic was kind of sweet.  She said that she liked watching it primarily if her partner was gone foe a period of time (he travels for work) and sometimes with him, and that she preferred to keep the movies similar as possible because they would blend with her fantasies of them together and of when they watched the movies together.

Fortunately from some of the posters in this forum I stand corrected in that she is really a hunchback and he is a teenage porn addicted pervert.  I almost mistook them as an honorable professional couple who are among some of the most faithful, happy couple I've known!  And the other women must be harlots of the first water!

My moral fiber has been rescued though, and my soul saved.  (It is 85% recycled) LOL

[Jasmine205]

Not all pictures of people, couples naked to me is pornography there are some exceptionally beautiful artful nudes taken that are terrific. Especially those done in black and white..What is pornography to one person is art to another.

Although actual porn movies are hilarious and should never be seen as all that threatening...They badly made and all have the same premise/storyline.

I've recently looked at pics of nudes with my boyfriend to see the size breasts I would like :) if you are secure in your relationship and within your own body..you won't be concerned if he/she looks at porn..IMO

[Trialanderror]

Hahaha, I get the picture, Sam. That is indeed sweet.

[Agiesmom]

LOL!  A baby kissing a puppy—that’s sweet.  A kitten playing with a ball of yarn—that’s sweet.  Two young children sharing an ice cream cone—that’s sweet.  A guy proposing on bended knee in front of the Ifle Tower—that’s sweet.  But the word “sweet” does not come to mind when I think of two people watching porn in which the actors look like them!  LOL!   But hey…the definition of ”sweet” is obviously in the eye of the beholder—just like the definition of “pornography”.  ;)

[Trialanderror]

I meant it is sweet that there is a faithful honorable happy couple behind this whole story. Over and out. Not going to extend that thread any more.

[BabyHardiman]

"By saying men don't need this, sure they don't need it, but once they get that image in their head of one of those women, and especially if it is an addiction they are facing it triggers an uge and sometimes they can't control it."

Ummmmm, really?  And that is healthy for them?  You really were ALL OVER THE BOARD, like Agiesmom said.

[Jamie21]

Did I say it was healthy??? no actually I didn't, that is why its called an addiction. If you don't believe it can be an addiction then go ask a councellor.

I never once said pornography especially when it gets to be like that is healthy not at all. I was just stating a fact.

[pertykitty]

the real pertykitty here!! id like my genitals to taste like bubble gum and the star i am acting with look like no one i have ever seen! lol.  really to each his own.  you like it find you dont fine.  it can be a healthy outlet with your partner.  when it takes over a healthy relationship and you are no longer with your partner because you spend hours on the net doing yourself that is a problem!  

im more bothered by the text msgs i get forwarded to me that have pictures of sick sh,it i didnt ask to look at.  

[Jasmine205]

You can buy products so you or your bfs genitals taste like bubble gum, grape, cherry whatever you may like.

[BabyHardiman]

I think PK was being sarcastic!  

"I've recently looked at pics of nudes with my boyfriend to see the size breasts I would like :) if you are secure in your relationship and within your own body..you won't be concerned if he/she looks at porn..IMO"

If you are thinking of changing your breast size, then you are most likely NOT secure in yor own body.  And by the way, if you are thinking of getting a breast augmentation, they have pictures at your plastic surgeons office that you can look at, you do not have to pull out a porn mag.

[pertykitty]

yes i was joking lol.  dh would prefer a t-bone and cold beer flavor ewwww!

[BabyHardiman]

LOL!!  Gross!

[Jasmine205]

Lol, I considered it was a joke, but still wanted her to know it exists if she wanted to try it.

I am secure in my body, but I am also very vain  and my meds caused weight gain, which made my breasts fuller, both myself and my bf like that aspect. Since going off meds, weight (hopefully) will go too, and then sadly the bigger breasts.
So we were checking sizes we liked for fun, mostly out of boredom then.

I never said we looked at porn mags, you assumed that on your own :P
Why pay for a magazine when its all free online.
And I would never step into a drs office and fork over a consultation fee while I am still in the not sure stage. Was something to distract me from feeling all my body pain hell right now...and it worked, him and I laughed a lot..
I want to have kiddies and I'm not sure if implants make it difficult to breast feed? or if you even can with them?

[BabyHardiman]

Yes, you can breastfeed with implants.  I have them under the muscles, and have had absolutely no problem breastfeedin my 5 month old daughter.  She has been eating like a champ from day one.  

I had flashbacks of my a**hole ex-husband who pulled out a porn magazine to show me what HE wanted my breasts to look like.  That will never leave my head.  Make sure it is what YOU want, and that you are not altering your body for the visual pleasure of some butthole like I did.  If I could go back in time, I would have NEVER had the operation.  You wil have to maintain them for the rest of your life.

Google plastic surgeons in your area, pull up their websites, and do reasearch on them and view their work BEFORE deciding on "the" doctor.  Trust me, it's not an easy decision, I made mine way too quickly.

[BabyHardiman]

I wanted to add that bigger is not alway better.  I went in with a 32A cup, and came out of surgery wearing a 32D, and the pain was TERRRRIIIIIBBBBLLLLEEEE!!  I chose 525cc.  Bad mistake!  They looked nice, and still do, but like I said above you will be maintaining them for the rest of your life.

I could not even take a poopie without being in massive PAIN!  You will not be able to do ANYTHING on your own for a LONG time.    

[mayflowers]

I've also heard that with breast implants, you need to get them re-done every 10-15 yrs.  I've known two women that developed hard lumps and needed to get new ones.  That's about $15k.  Just a thought for anyone considering breast implants.

[BabyHardiman]

Honestly, I would not recommend getting them to anyone.  Given the opportunity again, I would have never gone through with the surgery.  I used to look at big breasted women with envy, now I look at natural women with envy.  The only thing they are good for is a pillow for my baby.

[Jasmine205]

Thank you... I wasn't sure if getting implants I could breast feed normally, I even wondered if I got a nipple piercing if I could. I mean to be honest as vain as I can be at times, I want to breast feed my baby when ever I have one more..and have that bonding.

I was even worried about Lupus and implants?

My bf doesn't care if I do or not really, he said it's your body honey, I love you as is.
And I never do it for him, only for me, even though I love him.
Thought of surgeries terrify me a lot.. I watched some of those shows on tv..and I was all cringing at it. I love the round full bouncey look, you know the type I mean and thats why I'd want them... But I don't know if like you said its worth it.
What you said certainly got me thinking, *hugs*

[pertykitty]

i hate my big boobs.  natural and now sagging :(.   id love to have them lifted, but i dont know that id ever want to go through that kind of surgery. one thing to consider, and im sure baby has to deal with it, some shirts just dont fit right when your chi chis are a larger size.  right now im about a 36DD-DDD and while dh loves it, id love to be a C cup.  in my younger years i thought it was great.  now id like to have people talk to me not the girls lol.

(you do however get doors opened and free drinks if you are single haha.)

[Jasmine205]

Va va voom on the boobies there.
Dd-DDds wow, do you have a lot of back backs though? and do you need to get really expensive bras?
I only wanted to go up to a C , I think..if I did it.

Do you find guys aren't looking you in the eyes as much when your cheat is bigger?
And that they see you as more sexual because of them?

[BabyHardiman]

Mine were rock hard and sat high on my chest before I got pregnant with Ava.  After I had her, and began breastfeeding they dropped, and so my torso looks shorter.  :(  Like Perty said it is hard finding shirts that look right on me.  I wear alot of longer shirts now, mostly ones that cover part of my fanny too.  :)  It makes my torso look longer.

[pertykitty]

i dont feel vavoom.  i have perm indents on my shoulders.  my back hurts most of the time.  i cant find a bra that fits very well and when i do i bust the wires.  maybe implants feel different, but i would never encourage anyone to go larger than their frame permits.  back in my younger years when i was dating i found that men were interested in the girls not me.  i recieved attention from both sexes and i hated it most of the time.  girls call you a bi.tch and men hope you are a hoochie lol.  i think god should have made the boobs more elastic haha.  

serious sam dont you love we took over your thread? lol.  

[SeriousSam]

Actually I resigned myself some time ago.  Actually I'm more of a nipple or butt person affianado myself.  Lol  I've never seen much reason why a person would tamper with nature though.  If you love a woman she'll look beautiful, if she loves you her beauty will maintain in your eyes and if she loves herself she'll never question you when you say shes the most beautiful woman in the world.

And you know what, she will be.

[SeriousSam]

Personally I would have to be too sick to fight someone off to let them come near me with knives.

[SeriousSam]

For any type of surgery, that is....

[pertykitty]

sam the idea of surgery would never be for my dh (i do love him dont get me wrong) it would be for me.  you would have to be a woman to actually understand.  we are subjected to this idea of what a beautiful woman is.  now i am happy with who i am, but i could be happier should i not have a backache daily.  its all about wrinkles, sag, are our butts too flat?  too round?  do i have kankles or am i bird legged?  will anyone notice that hair growing on my chin or can they see my grey strands in the mix of the blond highlights i use to cover them up?  lol see what we have to deal with?  not that men dont, but its pushed on us much more.  

im now 37 yrs old and i am starting to see some lines and sun spots thanks to the california sun (ok minus sunscreen).  im totally ok with who i am.  i can go out without make up and my hair thrown in a pony tail and i can feel sexy about it.  you know its amazing how  you can take two women.  one is beautiful.  but has low self esteem.  to others she may seem less attractive or even non existent.  you can take a woman that is mediocre and if she feels sexy and good about herself people notice her!  

[SeriousSam]

Let me rephrase that. I spent too much time in my youth in fights that might have involved knives and have one or two cuts that I might have preferred had not happened too be at ease enough to let someone willingly cut my body.  If other people want too that fine I have a couple of close friends that are in the body mod business and that's their choice but not on my body. lol

[BabyHardiman]

I could not agree with you more!  I do think how you feel inside reflects on how you look on the outside.  

[SeriousSam]

LOL if it matters I worked some rather rough jobs to get my education.

Whatever makes you feel more yourself is fine.

[madmac]

If anyone's read my comments on other topics they know where I stand on some issues. Porn is a big 1 for me, 1st let me say if you watch it more pwr to you 2nd I would like to put something out there. Apparently the gov can't do anything about porn of any kind as the industry uses the 1st ammendment as a crutch,  The gov can throw a teacher in jail for 30 yrs for showing porn in a classroom as the classroom is considered a learning institute there it's against the law. The largest learning institute in the world right now is the internet, yet of the 40 million web sites online 12% is porn. As I said there are over 250,000 pictures of children ages 6/15 downloaded every day. They use vertual imaging to make young adults look 13/16 and who do they do this for? My question is if the gov won't allow learning institutes to show porn, why can't the gov pass a law that the internet is a legal learning institute there by putting anyone that puts childporn of any type in jail. That will leave all the other porn out there for those of you that apparently need it or should I say enjoy it? Just a thought

[softandsweet]

Please Please someone give me advise.  My boyfriend called me an old ***** ! I looked at the computer and found teen porn
We just got a computer 4 months ago and have never had the Internet before.  We had been together for 2 years.  Everything was great.  He treated me great.  3 months ago he wanted anal sex for the first time. It seems weird but I did it.  Last week he kept looking at 15 and16 year old girls in front of me in the grocery store.  Last night he called me an old menopausal whor-  I am to young for menopause and not a *whor-.  I got on the computer and saw that he has been looking at lots of teen porn sites.  Does anything know if something like that might be causing his bad behavior?  I have been crying all day. I have A.D.D. and anxiety. I have fibroids. I take Ritalin and Zoloft.


Please Please someone give me advise.  My boyfriend called me an old ***** ! I looked at the computer and found teen porn
We just got a computer 4 months ago and have never had the Internet before.  We had been together for 2 years.  Everything was great.  He treated me great.  3 months ago he wanted anal sex for the first time. It seems weird but I did it.  Last week he kept looking at 15 and16 year old girls in front of me in the grocery store.  Last night he called me an old menopausal whor-  I am to young for menopause and not a *whor-.  I got on the computer and saw that he has been looking at lots of teen porn sites.  Does anything know if something like that might be causing his bad behavior?  I have been crying all day.  
Resume editing

[softandsweet]

Not one responce from a woman !!!
I do not need your advise.  Porn or no porn I like men better.  Women are way to competitive.  

[Beargizmo]

I would suggest (I'm not a woman) that you show your boyfriend the door...if you have voiced your opinion to him more than once and it means nothing to him and he is trying to act out wht he sees on porn...and you are not too crazy about it..it's time to say adios..you are not his "porn star" or "sex object"

Most people will say that "porn teaches us new positions" and all that sort of rot but all it is is an abuse of women and a man getting off with the "money shot"..if it's new positions you want, there are plenty of books you can look at together, discover each other's bodies together and you don't need porn to do that.  Think of it...at some point the women in porn are eventually tossed out in the street and we frequently read of their drug problems and suicides, while the male continues to make $$ with his big Penis.  Many former porn stars have gone out on the road discouraging porn..

sorry...I haven't read all of the messages here, but that's my feeling on the subject...the female body is a beautiful creation to be loved and cherished and not experimented on..
I believe it's far better to be in love, discover each other's bodies and what pleases each other...and my own OPINION on anal sex is that it is not meant to be.  If it was a natural sexual act there would be no need for artificial lubrication, enemas and danger of internal damage and disease...no matter how "clean" there's bacteria there..it's an "exit" spot on the body..

Good luck and I hope I didn't offend you

Jim

[wannebemommy]

hahaha some intresting answers i must say...
i do believe that if u made that change in ur live its hard to turn back.
i have many friends loving the porn life and friends that have many problems like he/she is cheating on me with porn.
There is a diff. between enjoying porn and wanting to be that male or female in the porn film.. if u and your partner enjoy living the ''porn life'' then so be it, who am i to talk into something else, but if u are in a dark room all by urself and watching porn and getting a turn on by helping urself atleast 3 times a day and u have a partner ,i would say u have a problem and its cheating cause u are on ur way of seeking something else.
Porn can make and break u and ur partner so be carefull when u do want to turn up ur love life.... toys could do that kind of job just as good..
well in my point of view i would say its a 50/50.

thanx for bringing this up..

enjoy!

[Ashelen]

Very interesting topic...I think that it only makes SENSE if you look at porn with people representing your significant other, because after all...aren't you looking at vids/pics of people you find attractive, and shouldn't you, then, be attracted to the person you're with?

I have a slightly unique perspective on this whole argument (all of the o/t stuff) because from the age of 2-7 I was sexually molested (pretty regularly) by a guy who used porn as a part of his molestation technique. For years I was scarred by it, and refused to allow it to any part of my relationships. Much to my shock, I found out a few years ago that my husband was looking at it behind my back and I was DEVASTATED. Not only did we have an incredibly active sex life, but he did it while I was napping (ew, LOL) in the same room. Sigh, LOL. Anyway....after a long time of blaming, and bad memories being dredged up for me, we came to an agreement that he would refrain. Later, I found out that he was doing it AGAIN. Finally I said look...you know what my history is with this, it has GOT to stop. He admitted he had a problem...not a porn problem, oddly enough, but a masturbation addiction. I jokingly told him that instead of using porn he should come to me every time he needed something. Needless to say I got sick of that after about a month. A few months later after the whole porn issue kept coming between us and causing fights (regarding trust and honesty) I finally decided I was going to give it a try....we watched porn together. He was so weirded out that I got way more from it than he did, but now he knows that when he wants to look at porn what I need from him is honesty, not porn-abstinence. Yes it took a long number of years to get over the mental scarring I had (yes, I DO have memories from that period of my life) but it took years not to associate his porn-watching with insecurities on my part. Now we're healing, and porn is no longer the big issue it used to be. I'm still not a supporter, but I think calling it evil is waaay too far. Sinful, yes, but Jesus died to save us from the sins he knew we would commit. Committing a sin because we're weak humans is a far cry from committing evil, which is what some people seem to think is one and the same

Did I mention that I'm Catholic? Yes, we're all "sin and hellfire" but in a modern age where people don't conform to our traditionalist ideals, we have to make adjustments or be forever left behind by society. I didn't give up my ideals and morals, but I refused to believe that God wants me miserable and unable to trust my husband...yes the obvious answer would be for him to just stop looking at porn so I could trust him, but it works both ways and I think we met in the middle.