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Privacy/ Jealously
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Privacy/ Jealously

Should I be upset if my boyfriend looks through my texts and facebook? I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now ,but before we started dating we were best friends. I let him go through my things because I have nothing to hide. The  thing that does bothers me is when he'll read some of my old messages from facebook and try to bring them up. I get to the point that who cares about the past ,but he'll ask me questions about the messages. My boyfriend lets me go though his things ,but i don' t really look through his things. Should I change my password? If I do change my password then he'll think I'm trying to hide something when obviously I'm not.

It bothers my boyfriend when I text other guys he doesn't know. I understand his concern ,but at the same time its not like he can meet all my friends at once. I never cheated on my boyfriend before. I think that he doesn't trust me and I don't understand why not, He knows I have a lot of male friends ,but that's just because I have two brothers so all the guys are always at my house. I always tell him all my brothers friends are like my brothers  ,but I can tell it kinda still bothers him. :/ what should I do?

He always brings up my ex boyfriends/flings from the past and that also bothers me. I always tell him I rather not talk about them because that's the past. Every time he asks a question I do answer it. Is it bad that I rather not talk about my past?

8 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
#1 never txt other guys if u r in a relationship! This leads to distrust n y do u need all those other guys wen u have ur bf? The reason he brings up the past alot is prob cuz hes scared its gonna happen again n if u habe nothing to hide then y does it bother I for him to read ur stuff? Trust is a big part of ur relationship n u need to talk to him n c if it bothers him n if it does stop
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Avatar_f_tn
Its not bad that you don't want to talk about the past & he shouldn't be asking you about it. Why don't you sit him down and ask him if he has any concerns about your relationship?
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Avatar_f_tn
It only bothers me because he'll bring up stuff that happen years ago, I hardly do text my guy friends but when I do I tell him and let him see because I have nothing to hide. I can have guy friends. Its not like I ever go out alone when them. I'm never alone with a bunch of guys I'm just saying when my brothers have their friends over I either stay in my room, get ready for my boyfriend, or hang out with my brothers. All the guys that I know are from my child hood.
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Avatar_f_tn
He'll say okay lets not talk about it anymore ,but eventually he'll bring it up again,
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13167_tn?1327197724
At 21,  are you still living at your parent's home and your older brothers are also still living there,  and their childhood friends are still coming over?   And your childhood playmates,  who might also be male,  are still coming over?

Are you truthfully 21 like your profile says?   This sounds like more the life of a 15 year old -

Do you work?
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Why is he so interested in your past?  No one needs to know the 100% about what you did BEFORE they came along UNLESS it is affecting your present day situation.  He's definitely got no business going through your old texts and old messages.  Yes, change your password because he is going totally overboard and abusing this.  

I would just say if he can't accept your situation then he isn't the one for you.  He knew up front you have loads of male friends and it's not like you tried to hide this.  If you have been open and honest about this part of your life I don't see any problem with this.  If he isn't comfortable with this then you aren't the one for him.  If you were trying to hide this from him then I could see how he would very upset and so he should be.  

You both sound young and I think it is very normal to text and FB friends whether they are male or female for your age group in particular.  

The jealously has more to do with him than you.
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Avatar_f_tn
If You change Your password He WILL become suspicious.  I promise You He will.  You stated You are okay with Him going through Your things as You have nothing to hide - this should make Him feel very secure but He is not.  This is a HUGE Red Flag!!  He's only a BoyFriend now but when He becomes a Husband He will feel more "justified" to be in control and You will be given the 3rd degree about every move You make.  This is a promise too.
I agree with Londres - this is Not about You, it's about Him.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
If he brings up your past, ask him about his past. It seems like hes attacking you and you dont need to stand for it.
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