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Question for the guys
Many men come to the relationships forum and explain how wonderful their wives or girlfriends are and that they are the most important person in their lives yet they then confess to having cheated or are having an affair--so whats the deal then?If you love your wife or girlfriend so much then what makes you stray--lets be honest now and find out the truth.Why cheat? Please explain.
Someone who has been cheated on could become very offended to insinuate that they area to blame for their partners lack of self control or acting out. We are responsible for handling issues within a relationship in a way that brings progress rather than hurt or why be in a relationship at all.
Exactly.
That's like blaming a victim of abuse, saying it's his/her fault their spouse hit them. We're talking choices and behaviors. If someone is in a bad marriage...then either try to fix it, or leave it, THEN have sex with someone else...cheating is obviously not the answer....and to use a bad relationship, or a partner's faults as an excuse is not taking ownership of the poor choices one has decided to make.
Exactly.
That's like blaming a victim of abuse, saying it's his/her fault their spouse hit them. We're talking choices and behaviors. If someone is in a bad marriage...then either try to fix it, or leave it, THEN have sex with someone else...cheating is obviously not the answer....and to use a bad relationship, or a partner's faults as an excuse is not taking ownership of the poor choices one has decided to make.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, as there are situations in which people cheat that are due to issues within their relationship, the person cheated on has contributed to those issues but that is different than being to blame for someone taking the step of cheating. the right thing for someone who is in a bad relationship to do is to leave it and then have sex with another or to work on the problems.
And usually is a huge stretch. Problems within a relationship are but one reason someone might cheat. And honestly, in pretty much 95% or more of cheating situations I'd describe the person cheated on as a victim of the bad choices their partner made. Especially when their is a vow such as marriage.
Someone who has been cheated on could become very offended to insinuate that they area to blame for their partners lack of self control or acting out. We are responsible for handling issues within a relationship in a way that brings progress rather than hurt or why be in a relationship at all.
And usually is a huge stretch. Problems within a relationship are but one reason someone might cheat. And honestly, in pretty much 95% or more of cheating situations I'd describe the person cheated on as a victim of the bad choices their partner made. Especially when their is a vow such as marriage.
Someone who has been cheated on could become very offended to insinuate that they area to blame for their partners lack of self control or acting out. We are responsible for handling issues within a relationship in a way that brings progress rather than hurt or why be in a relationship at all.
I think another point to mention is the person who was cheated on is usually not blameless. For example if they are work 60 hours a week and don't make their spouse high on the priority list they should take some responsibility for the situation. Some times cheating is a wake up call to both parties that they both have lost sight of what's important. It's like throwing a rock on a lake there is a ripple effect that keeps going for awhile. It takes two to sail and two to sink. Just my thoughts. Hobby
COMMUNITY LEADER
I was giving one of the reasons that people cheat. And actually, most readily admit that they have some type of deficit within themselves that allowed them to cheat.
The bottom line is that it is impossible to say exactly why 'everyone' cheats.
All people are individuals. Some cheat when it is nothing more than an opportunity presenting themselves and they for whatever reason are lacking control at that moment and go with it. Others cheat due to long standing issues within their relationship. Some are just morally bankrupt and feel it is their right to do as they please sexually with whomever. Some have an intense desire for attention of the novel variety and no matter how much their partner gives them, it doesn't feel new so they seek that high of new romance/sex.
And again, cheating is a choice and often very well is due to some type of internal issue that someone has. And it is generally considered a negative to someone's moral character and makes them less trustworthy. That isn't to take a stab at anyone who has cheated but is the reality of the aftermath. Many work to overcome this internal deficit that created the cheating situation and go on to be faithful partners.
The bottom line is that it is impossible to say exactly why 'everyone' cheats.
All people are individuals. Some cheat when it is nothing more than an opportunity presenting themselves and they for whatever reason are lacking control at that moment and go with it. Others cheat due to long standing issues within their relationship. Some are just morally bankrupt and feel it is their right to do as they please sexually with whomever. Some have an intense desire for attention of the novel variety and no matter how much their partner gives them, it doesn't feel new so they seek that high of new romance/sex.
And again, cheating is a choice and often very well is due to some type of internal issue that someone has. And it is generally considered a negative to someone's moral character and makes them less trustworthy. That isn't to take a stab at anyone who has cheated but is the reality of the aftermath. Many work to overcome this internal deficit that created the cheating situation and go on to be faithful partners.
Sorry SM but I disagree with part of your comment--not all people that cheat are shallow or have inadequacies.
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The bottom line is if there is something missing in the marriage or of needs aren't getting met at some point someone may cheat. Everyone has a different threshold. Some may leave rather than cheat or some may live in their own isolated mental prisons.
In the end I think it comes down to what u can live with, love and forgiveness.
Just my thoughts. Hobby