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Relationship Anxiety/Doubts HELP
I am 19 and just had my one year with my boyfriend this past month. Over the past two weeks my parents separated, we moved out and I am on my own, I have been uncomfortable, and do not feel at peace or at home. I suddenly developed anxiety and doubts over my relationship and began asking myself whether or not I loved my partner, if this relationship was right, and if he was the one. The thing is from day one I knew he was the one, that I love him with all my heart, and that I can't be without him. I don't know what is wrong with me and why this is happening to me. I have made myself physically and emotionally sick/drained. Is this normal? Help me please!
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I still get jealous when he is around other girls, I still worry about him, I still want to be there for him. I just feel like I want to be alone by myself though. I breakdown all the time. Everything seems like it has no joy or emotion to it and I can't take it anymore. I want my passion, love, and happiness back. I get flashes of it, but I feel so empty otherwise.
SO you think eventually everything will feel normal again? I feel as if I am constantly questioning everything I have, feel, or want. I don't know if this is normal and it freaks me out because sometimes I will feel like my feelings and emotions towards my relationship are exactly the way they were and other times I'll feel like I don't know what the hell I am doing with my life or whether I am attracted, whether it's love, whether I'm crazy, I don't know. I know I want him. I know I want forever, but I don't know why this is happening to me.
You're at an age where you are starting to make that transition into being an adult. That in itself is a stressful time for most people, and then on top of that, your parents splitting up is another huge stress also. I'm thankful that never happened to me because honestly that would've truly made my life turn upside down. Ok, and you're also living by yourself for the first time in your life, which can be a scary thing at first until you get used to it.
So you're talking about a huge amount of change, upheaval, and stress in your life, seemingly all happening at the same time. No wonder your relationship is feeling this way. Somewhere in the back of your mind in sure all of this change has triggered some kind of fear of abandonment and it's making you start doubting whether your relationship will turn out that way too. I don't think that's unusal and I don't think you need to worry about "why" because I just told you why you're feeling like that. I'm sure that once things in your life settle down and you've adjusted to your parents being split up and you've adjusted to living by yourself and having to take care of yourself that you won't be questioning your relationship anymore. How long will that take? I can't say because I'm not in your position. Just keep doing your thing and acceptance of your new life will happen soon enough.
So you're talking about a huge amount of change, upheaval, and stress in your life, seemingly all happening at the same time. No wonder your relationship is feeling this way. Somewhere in the back of your mind in sure all of this change has triggered some kind of fear of abandonment and it's making you start doubting whether your relationship will turn out that way too. I don't think that's unusal and I don't think you need to worry about "why" because I just told you why you're feeling like that. I'm sure that once things in your life settle down and you've adjusted to your parents being split up and you've adjusted to living by yourself and having to take care of yourself that you won't be questioning your relationship anymore. How long will that take? I can't say because I'm not in your position. Just keep doing your thing and acceptance of your new life will happen soon enough.
I just think it's all of the change and the insecurity in the change that is creating this. I know he is right and I can't let go. We we're happy and there is no reason for the thoughts.
I feel anxious, like everything was taken from me and that I won't ever get what I had back. I tend to stress over tiny things and these doubts came upon suddenly and I'm not sure why.
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IT does sound, after reading your other posts, that you would benefit from talking to a therapist. I think your priority right now should be to continue with your education. Have you planned on going on to college ? Are you in high school right now or have you finished high school?
I'm so glad that you posted. It sounds like you can benefit a great deal being able to talk out how you're feeling. And we're here for you, any time of the day or night.