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Relationship

As a Hindu Boy Can I Marry My mother's Sister's Son's Doughter? Is she my blood relation? will there be any problem?
We love each other,  Please Help
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Avatar_f_tn
yes she's your blood relation. she's your second cousin and yes there could be problems with any children you may have. you can't find anyone outside of your family to marry???? not to mention that is slightly gross and disgusting.
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686059_tn?1293837427
Well, I'm Christian and can only give you advice as my personal opinion only.  Your mother's sisters is your aunt, your aunts daughter is your first cousins (total count: "bloodline that of a sister, which is equal to incest".

In our country USA, it is against the law to marry relatives that close in blood and considered incest and a taboo to marry family. I'm aware other cultures do not see it this way, but there are consequences such as giving birth to a child that is deformed due to both your DNA being the same. Health issues for baby's, stillborn, miscarriages, deformaties. There are also social and psycological consequences agains such marriages and will be viewed as outcast.

So to answer your questions, it's viewed as close to incest, carries long term social and psycological consequencesthat these people have to live with.  It's not just about the future for innocent inbreed children, but also not accepted by society, the concept itself is considered wrong by most people and those who engage in such relationships will generally be shunned by the society at large.

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686059_tn?1293837427
also, it equal to marrying your sister, which is considered incest!
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973741_tn?1342346373
Yes, you are blood relations.  Not sure what your cultural belief/religious belief is on that but it would not be an option for me.  good luck
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13167_tn?1327197724
Judy,  there aren't any states in the US that don't allow the marriage of second cousins.

Many don't allow the marriage of first cousins,  but many do.  This isn't like marrying your sister,  it's marrying your second cousin.   In smaller communities,  and in the past where communities were more close knit and didn't move around,  this was very common.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Probably right Rockrose . . .  I think in our cultere most have this reaction to the idea of marrying a second cousin.  I know I did.  That is why I asked about his culture-------  where I am wondering if this is the case there as well because if it were common practice, he wouldn't be inquiring about it.  I don't know what is outside of normal there.  Why it wouldn't be acceptable to me if I was asking the question is that at the  point you are starting a relationship with great trepidation such as he seems to have, it has a higher likelyhood to fail.  Not saying it will, but it is starting behind the eight ball and relationships are hard enough as it is.  That was my thought.  
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686059_tn?1293837427
Yes, I was aware and I'm sure still in practice in state and other cultures and second cousin is close enough in blood lines to have consequences down the line. I personally do not agree with anyone marrying any bloodline, but that's just my opinion. I don't know what is the law in his culture or not so much the law, it's how his family feels about it. I really don't know. I can only give my opinion and let everyone else just jump right in with theirs.
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13167_tn?1327197724
Judy,  I completely agree that everyone's opinion is fine,  I was just noting that you said it's against the law,  but in fact,  it's not against the law in the US to marry second cousins,   and in many states it's legal to marry first cousins.    

From what I can read online,  rules against marriage between blood relations is much stricter in Hindu cultures.  I tried to understand,  but can't,   whether this specific relationship would be forbidden because it seems to hinge on whether the original two related people (his mother and aunt) are women.  Apparently if there's a man in the bloodline relationship it's forbidden,  but not if the relationship is women.  I think.  Because it seems that when women marry,  their "kin" relationship switches to their husband's side,  leaving these two women not "kin" anymore.  For whatever sense that makes.  Apparently,  still not sure because I don't understand all the words used, including "gotha" which roughly means kin.
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686059_tn?1293837427
Here is some information that I found on Hindu law on second cousins marrying:

Firstly one has to fulfil certain statutory conditions required for getting married legally as per Hindu marriage Act 1955, Section 5 of the Hindu Marriage Act 1955 which clarifies about the valid conditions for getting married as per Hindu Marriage Act 1955 as per Indian law, wherein one of the condition which reads as "the parties should not be within the degrees of prohibited relationship, unless the custom or usage governing each of them permits the marriage between the two". Now as per your query your proposed arrangement will have to be tested in compliance of the statutory law by knowing the actual family arrangements for any prohibitions if any. You may further consult an expert Matrimonial Lawyer for further clarifications, but since, marriages are arranged, this is a topic that he needs to discuss with both families if they approve or not.

Wow....I've just learn something here :)

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686059_tn?1293837427
RockRose, I'm going to research US laws on the topic, if it's a taboo in some religious denominations.
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686059_tn?1293837427
26 US states not only allow it, but permit first cousins to marry and many religious denominations also permit it (well, live and learn)...we learn something every day :)
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Avatar_f_tn
i still think it's gross. why not marry outside of the family. even i it's second cousins there is still the chance of deformities in any future children
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145992_tn?1341348674
I think not only is it gross...lol...but genetically it's dangerous.  Just like penswriter said, it could lead to genetic disorders within children.
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13167_tn?1327197724
I don't have the gut reaction to this ya'll have.  I have second cousins I haven't even met,  and probably never will meet.   I have a large family,  and we get together every summer,  and I have second cousins who come that I barely know,  only see once a year and I'd have to look on the family tree chart to see exactly what relationship name to all them,  it doesn't seem incestuous to me.  

To me this is nothing like that gross MacKenzie Phillips getting up there and yakking about thumping her dad,  which was vile.

Second cousins,  to me,  seem so removed.    Do ya'll even know all your second cousins,  or would you even necessarily recognize them on the street?

In doing a quick google search,  it seems research is beginning to show that cousins marrying isn't the genetic disaster it was once thought to be - women over 30 giving birth have a higher chance of a genetic abnormality than first cousins.


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145992_tn?1341348674
Really?  Wow.  I think it's because Richie has such a tight knit family that we are always with the 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins and so on.  So to me I always just picture that.  
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13167_tn?1327197724
But your cousins too,  mami?    Richie's family apparently is all close (and smaller than my family,  if you are able to have a close relationship all the way with 3rd cousins - my third cousins number in the 100's,  literally.    You hear stories like this,  where people fall in love only to learn later that they are fairly closely related.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I've got to tell you that I agree with mami on this one.  Even if I didn't know them . . . and we met and then I found out they were my cousin's child . . .  I'd not want to do that.  Besides . . . I already know the gene pool . . . I want to branch out.  lol

My husband's mother was one of 12 and his dad was one of 9 (big catholic family, what can I say)---------  can you imagine the numbers of cousins.  But I'm just hoping that my kids branch out a little from a relative of any sort . . .  it is a big world out there and they should be able to do it.  Besides, little strange at the wedding . . . who sits on what side and all . . .  

My family is very small.  I think of my kids marrying one of their second cousins that yes, we know them all.  That would be very odd indeed.

But my original point is---------  relationships are hard.  If you have to ask the question is it okay, it is going to make the relationship harder.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I think the answer to your question lies within you, you must have some doubts, or you would not have posted, so ask yourself. Should i marry someone i am kin to, would i have any problems later, You say you love each other, but is it a familys love or real true love, if you have any doubts, do not do it, as you will have problems later on, also what does your parents think about this?  remember you will have children, and if there is one seed of doubt do not do it the answer lies within you to answer  luck  jo
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686059_tn?1293837427
I know my second and third cousins, they are family and off limits within the the entire family unit. It's just taboo, yet  my niece's aunt on her father's side is married to a second cousin and have a beautiful daugher that looks just like her.

In this case, he is of hindu religioun and although not stated I'm assuming lives in india, where marriage are arrange and I the family decides or has a huge say if it is acceptable or not.
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13167_tn?1327197724
This is maybe a tiny bit off topic,  but for those who say they know their third cousins,  that means you have at least one great great grandparent in common.  Can anyone on this board actually say they know all the descendants of their all their great great grandparents?   Every one has 16 great great grandparents.    So to know all your third cousins,  you'd have to know all the descendants of your great great grandparents.  Can anyone say that?  

To know all your second cousins,  you also must know all the cousins of your parents.  Does anyone on this board know all of the cousins of both your parents?

What I'm saying here is second and third cousins are VERY far removed from the individual.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I know nothing of the Hindu ways. I would check to see if it is legal and if it is, go for it. This is something you would have to check out in your own culture to find out. Sorry.
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Avatar_f_tn
my family is also VERY tight. i knew my grandparents family. (my fathers mother had one sister who had 2 children. both of those children have passed i still talk to those cousins. my mothers mother had 3 brothers and a sister. all of her brothers passed in a mining accident when they were ages 16-20. her sister passed a few years back. said sister had 2 children. one of those children is childless and the other has a son and daughter. and amazingly both of my grandfathers were only children.) we're REALLY tight. lol. where as my husbands family is the complete opposite. they actually think we're weird because of how close we all are. i talk to my dad at least 3-4 times a week and i talk to my mom 3-4 times a day. (she's a very lonely woman.) i know all of my cousins and am actually pretty friends with most of them.

so yeah i think marrying or sleeping with any sort of family whether they're 1st cousins or 20th cousins is just...blah. lol like my mom always told my one cousin, "you don't go to family reunions looking to hookup or find a boyfriend."
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686059_tn?1293837427
My deceased mother's sister Aunt Carmen's daugher Awilda (first cousin), has a daughter Amy in her early 30's (second cousing) who has a 5 yr. daugher Melony, which makes her my third cousin. It exit and I quite a few generations of 3 cousins.
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686059_tn?1293837427
also, my family has a "family" tree, from both sides of my mother and father, that states the name and where they were born, from generation to generation. I have the names from at least 3-4 generations of "greats", which include aunt's and uncles from those generation and I'm still working through "Ancestry.com" to continue to locate as much information on my history as I can, so to answer your question respectfully, yes, I can say I have that information and have a tree on Ancestry .com. It's facinating to research and find information of your history.
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535822_tn?1417529476
Can I as a newcomer ask is it actually illegal to marry a first cousin in The USA   not that I am planning to I was just wondering as I know it isnt in UK and it surprised me .....
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Avatar_f_tn
i think it varies from state to state and i think in most states it's illegal. to close in blood relation.

personally i don't think you should marry anyone in your family. that's family and still gross.
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686059_tn?1293837427
26 States approve in US. My family is too close for that to happen, but my niece on her fathers side has a first cousin married to a second cousin and it caused a huge family scandal. They have a beautiful daughter together. In my family it's taboo.
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535822_tn?1417529476
I also think its too close a blood tie ,yet it happens frequently in England its always been legal there....so half of the states here approve it, well I bet ya under the new leniency of morality it will end up being all the states under this administration .
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