Should I break up with my boyfriend?

[WaterLolita]

Let me start out with this- I love my boyfriend to death. He's kind, caring, sweet, loving, attractive, smart...everything you could hope for in a significant other. We have great conversations, he's my best friend, we just get along wonderfully. There's one problem though. His voice has been annoying the hell out of me lately. It's not his normal voice, it's these impersonations, I guess you would call them, that he does. The voices started about 8 months into our relationship (we've been dating for about a year and half). They just recently have started to drive me insane. We've talked about it time and time again, but he just slips back into doing them. It's gotten to the point where I've become obsessed and literally brace myself for them before he speaks, basically praying that he'll speak in a normal voice. When he's engaged in conversation he won't do them...it's during our "down time" I guess you would call it. I don't know. I wish I could just chill and kind of have meaningless conversations with him without him having to start doing these silly voices. I've asked him to just speak to him like he speaks to his friends, but he slips back into the voices. It's gotten so bad and I've brought it up so many times, I'm afraid to do it anymore, as he gets extremely offended. He's even threatened to break up with me if I can't get over this. Should I stay with him? Is this not a big deal? This guy is amazing..basically willing to do anything for me. Am I overacting to a slight flaw? Any answers would be wonderful. Thank you.

[TTinKKerBBell]

You've talked about it "time and time again", it has started to "drive You insane" and now He "gets extremely offended" when You talk about it.  

If this bothers You SO much NOW You need to decide if You can live with this the Rest Of Your Life - My guess is You cannot.  You would probably end up driving each other insane.

I SO!! agree with AnnieBrooke!!  

You need to know You can live with it or You need to leave it.

[AnnieBrooke]

I took it the same way as I would if someone wrote about some other non-life-threatening but annoying mannerism in a boyfriend, like rolling breadcrumbs into dough or clearing their throat all the time or swishing saliva around in a gross way in their mouth.  If something that seems to be rather minor bothers her THAT MUCH, i.e. so she is wincing and praying every single time he speaks, it seems like he is flat out on her nerves.  Once someone is on the other person's nerves totally, it's pretty hard for them to have relaxed and happy times together as a couple.  

I happen to be married to a saliva-noise-making guy, he does it absently when he is reading.  I have probably asked him about once a week for two decades to stop making gross swishing-mouth noises when we're reading in bed in the quiet of the evening.  He is usually apologetic and stops for about a half hour.  I don't think he actually CAN stop all the way.  Do I care?  No.  We even laugh about it and "gross mouth noises"  is a standard phrase in our personal lexicon.  But if I DID care, and winced and braced myself every single time I thought he was about to do it, and suffered pain every time he did, I would take it as a signal that meant less about the mouth noises and more about the relationship.  

There was a funny New Yorker cartoon once where a woman and man are in a restaurant and she's apparently breaking up with him, and she's saying, "I love you, Stanley, but I don't think I could take a lifetime of you sending back the wine."  Everyone has their tipping point, but I do think it has more to do with the relationship than with the habit.

[specialmom]

I guess if anything is that irritating about someone's quirks, then she should break up with him.  He probably thinks himself to be cute or funny or has something within that compels him to do this OR he's irritated right back with her for telling him not to be himself, so he makes SURE to do the voices when she'd prefer he wouldn't.  

If she completely ignored it, would it go away?  Worked for my annoying little cousin.  he stopped repeating everything I said which was so annoying.  

Worth a shot.  Because she has two choices----  except him or end it.  If she isn't going to end it, she has to be okay with how he is or it isn't fair to him.  Just my opinion any way.  

[RockRose]

Oops,  obviously I did a lot of editing and adding to the post above without proofing.  Sorry!  ;D

[RockRose]

Hmm.  I really respect you both SM and Londres,  but maybe I'm not picturing this correctly.

Certainly there are worse traits than people who speak in weird character voices when she clearly has asked him to please not to,  that it's irritating.  

As much as I like the humor of Robin Williams or Jim Carrey,  I think the man would drive me out of my mind if I had to spend much time with him,  the way they switch voices all the time.

I don't think in a relationship you have to take the lesser of the evils - if this really drives her batty and she dreads him speaking because it's so irritating,  it's not really all that relevant that other men are cheaters or drinkers or axe murderers for that matter.

I don't know how anyone would tolerate someone speaking in different weird voices,  frankly.  

[specialmom]

I think you might be being too critical about him.  I'm sure he doesn't want to bother you so what is driving him?  That is what you need to think about.  Something internal is driving him and this may be reflexive in nature.  I do think that everyone has certain things that they can change and others that are just who they are.  The way he speaks when relaxed is something I think you let him be about.  good luck

[RockRose]

He sounds a little compulsive,  like people who have to speak through puppets.

[WaterLolita]

I completely understand what you're saying, but I think there is enough holding the relationship together. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just focusing on the negative too much. If I like everything else about him, should I just get over it? I hear my friends complain constantly about things that are wrong with their boyfriends, and I never have any of those problems, you know? Am I just being too critical of him?

[AnnieBrooke]

If you don't like the voices and are tired of having to ask him to stop and he won't stop, it is probably a signal that there isn't enough holding the relationship together to cause you to overlook (or even like) the voices.