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Should I end it? If so, how do I do it?
I'm hoping someone can help me...although I know it's only me who can get to the bottom of this. Here it goes. This is very hard for me but I don't want to hurt anymore and I definitely don't want to hurt my girlfriend anymore. We've dated 7 years - 7 beautiful years. The problem is we've grown apart and it seems like we're more like friends than in a real relationship. In fact, sadly I've cheated on her and I hate myself everyday for it...the problem is I can't stop and don't know that I ever will. I thought for sure that I wanted to marry her and I know I'm only lying to myself and her at the same time. The problem is I can't break up with her...it's like I'm so selfish and I just keep her around. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of change, or afraid to hurt her or that I'll never find love again...I just know that something is not right in our relationship anymore. I love her to death but I don't think I'm IN LOVE with her anymore. I just don't feel the same way that I used to feel but at the same time I don't want to lose her. I don't know what's wrong with me. She deserves better than me? She deserves someone who should love her the way she deserves to be loved. I want so badly to be that person but I just know that it will never be that way again...and what's frustrating about it is that I don't know why. Everyone tells me that I just need to break up with her but it's so much easier said than done. We've been through a lot over the past couple of weeks and now would just be horrible timing to call it off. I've found a girl that really makes me happy and we just clicked from the beginning and that scares me because I don't know if it's fake or if it's a sign that it's time to end it with my girlfriend. I hate myself so much and I don't think I deserve happiness for what I've done. I feel like a jerk, I never wanted to be "that guy." Part of me wants to be with her so bad. SO BAD! Sadly, part of me doesn't know what I want anymore. She has such a beautiful heart and would never do anything like this to me. This has just hurt way to long and I don't know where else to go and what else to do. I'm hoping someone can please help me. What should I do?
Thanks.
Thanks.
why would anyone want to string someone along 7 years witout marriage in the future maybe you got to much milk and dont want to buy a cow
Hi there badday1972.
Have you talked to your girl friend yet? I am sure she is not stupid and can tell that you are acting differently than at first, when you started your relationship (unless you've been cheating on her this whole time). :P
I am so glad she has a good heart and would never do that to you. Hopefully she will be able to forgive you. But you will never know unless you talk to her. It sounds like you just need closure to this 7 year chapter in your life, and the only person you can get that from is your darling gf, along with letting go yourself.
Let us know when you have reconciled with her and yourself.
cheer up and put yourself in her shoes....if that is indeed a cheering thought.
Have you talked to your girl friend yet? I am sure she is not stupid and can tell that you are acting differently than at first, when you started your relationship (unless you've been cheating on her this whole time). :P
I am so glad she has a good heart and would never do that to you. Hopefully she will be able to forgive you. But you will never know unless you talk to her. It sounds like you just need closure to this 7 year chapter in your life, and the only person you can get that from is your darling gf, along with letting go yourself.
Let us know when you have reconciled with her and yourself.
cheer up and put yourself in her shoes....if that is indeed a cheering thought.
The link in my post serves to provide a means to "refresh" the posters "memory" that he had, in fact, posted in the past. The link I provided, which contains the quote posted in C43, shows that "someone" with the screenname "badday1972" was concerned they had contracted HIV from their "behaviour". Furthermore, it contains the quote: "Come on now man...not to comforting when you have a girlfriend of 7 years who you would NEVER want to harm!". This is CLEARLY the SAME person that started this thread and it is obvious he is is denial as evidenced by his quote: "Where the hell are you weirdos getting this s.h.i.t. from is what i wanna know? try typing in badday1972 in the search not just badday ok. You people need to get your facts right before you start accusing me of anything. Wow! i can't believe i'm having to explain myself like this."
The grinding incident ALONG with him recently "finding a girl that makes him happy" and his sexual encounters, quoted in post C27 (I will repost these below for reference) is, in my opinion, cause for concern he could contract an STD - I should have made it clearer that I was considering ALL of his behaviour and not just this one example. However, Barnbabe, you wrote: "Let's not feed into disinformation campaigns about STDs. If you are unaware of how HIV is passed, there's plenty of accurate information out there to get you up to speed on it." At no time did I even mention "HIV" - I said his behaviour could set him up to contract an "STD". Is genetial herpes an "STD"? Yes! Can genetial herpes be caused by genetial grinding? Absolutely! Therefore, the information in my post is NOT incorrect. Badday1972 has also had 2 incidences of unprotected vaginal sex (that we know of!) which is absolutely putting his girlfriend at risk for contracting a disease that could kill her. This is highly selfish and it really bugs me when people come to these forums complaining/sulking/stressing etc. etc. that THEY may have contracted XYZ from behaviour ABC and there appears to be no concern for their partner whom they still have unprotected sex with and assumes they are in a monogomous relationship! Badday1972 needs a wakeup call.
"3/3/06 - Unprotected one night stand - vaginal sex with a girl - NEGATIVE HIV-1 test 3 months later7/16/06 - Received Protected oral sex from stripper
9/23/06 - Unprotected Vaginal sex with friend
10/10/06 - Protected vaginal sex with girl i met a few weeks earlier
- I was also diagnosed with prostatitis in january 07.
1/25/07 - made out with stripper
1/26/07 - made out/grinded nude with girl i met night before - no penetrated sex."
The title of this post is "Should I end it? If so, how do I do it?"
To cut a longer story short..... Yes. Tell her about your numerous sexual encounters - that should take care of things pretty quickly.
The grinding incident ALONG with him recently "finding a girl that makes him happy" and his sexual encounters, quoted in post C27 (I will repost these below for reference) is, in my opinion, cause for concern he could contract an STD - I should have made it clearer that I was considering ALL of his behaviour and not just this one example. However, Barnbabe, you wrote: "Let's not feed into disinformation campaigns about STDs. If you are unaware of how HIV is passed, there's plenty of accurate information out there to get you up to speed on it." At no time did I even mention "HIV" - I said his behaviour could set him up to contract an "STD". Is genetial herpes an "STD"? Yes! Can genetial herpes be caused by genetial grinding? Absolutely! Therefore, the information in my post is NOT incorrect. Badday1972 has also had 2 incidences of unprotected vaginal sex (that we know of!) which is absolutely putting his girlfriend at risk for contracting a disease that could kill her. This is highly selfish and it really bugs me when people come to these forums complaining/sulking/stressing etc. etc. that THEY may have contracted XYZ from behaviour ABC and there appears to be no concern for their partner whom they still have unprotected sex with and assumes they are in a monogomous relationship! Badday1972 needs a wakeup call.
"3/3/06 - Unprotected one night stand - vaginal sex with a girl - NEGATIVE HIV-1 test 3 months later7/16/06 - Received Protected oral sex from stripper
9/23/06 - Unprotected Vaginal sex with friend
10/10/06 - Protected vaginal sex with girl i met a few weeks earlier
- I was also diagnosed with prostatitis in january 07.
1/25/07 - made out with stripper
1/26/07 - made out/grinded nude with girl i met night before - no penetrated sex."
The title of this post is "Should I end it? If so, how do I do it?"
To cut a longer story short..... Yes. Tell her about your numerous sexual encounters - that should take care of things pretty quickly.
Spade, what is it he needs to be "concerned" about? He wasn't at risk for HIV, at least from the link you gave us. He may have a fever, swollen glands, or whatever, but it's not from an STD. That much is certain. Hell, the guy was BANNED from this site once before because he couldn't work past his anxiety in the face of the non-risk-related behaviors he was engaged in. Only the doctor could have banned him, so clearly Dr. Handsfield felt he was using up air time on the HIV board for no appropriate reason.
I read about some hand jobs, some grinding stuff, maybe a blow job or two although I don't recall specifically and didn't read everything he posted, but this guy is not at risk for HIV. That was the whole point of his being banned--he was wasting everybody's time with his anxiety-driven rants.
Let's not feed into disinformation campaigns about STDs. If you are unaware of how HIV is passed, there's plenty of accurate information out there to get you up to speed on it. "Grinding genital to genital" is not the way HIV infection occurs. And apparently the guy has had multiple HIV tests coming up negative. What more does he need to realize he doesn't have it? Clearly, what's behind his posts is anxiety.
Now, I for one take every message here at face value - if somebody says they have a 7-year girlfriend and are messing around on them - I'll believe them and give them my opinions about it. I don't have any reason not to believe somebody who posts here. I assume it's true. It doesn't mean we are getting the whole story, but I'm willing to work with what is posted here. With this particular BadDay guy, it appears to be some deep-seated anxiety, maybe some out-of-control sexual behavior, and concern about a primary relationship. The same themes keep coming up no matter which forum he's on.
Bottom line? He's a mess and needs help that he won't be able to get on-line.
I read about some hand jobs, some grinding stuff, maybe a blow job or two although I don't recall specifically and didn't read everything he posted, but this guy is not at risk for HIV. That was the whole point of his being banned--he was wasting everybody's time with his anxiety-driven rants.
Let's not feed into disinformation campaigns about STDs. If you are unaware of how HIV is passed, there's plenty of accurate information out there to get you up to speed on it. "Grinding genital to genital" is not the way HIV infection occurs. And apparently the guy has had multiple HIV tests coming up negative. What more does he need to realize he doesn't have it? Clearly, what's behind his posts is anxiety.
Now, I for one take every message here at face value - if somebody says they have a 7-year girlfriend and are messing around on them - I'll believe them and give them my opinions about it. I don't have any reason not to believe somebody who posts here. I assume it's true. It doesn't mean we are getting the whole story, but I'm willing to work with what is posted here. With this particular BadDay guy, it appears to be some deep-seated anxiety, maybe some out-of-control sexual behavior, and concern about a primary relationship. The same themes keep coming up no matter which forum he's on.
Bottom line? He's a mess and needs help that he won't be able to get on-line.
thats funny, you posted elsewhere about wearing two condoms while sleeping with someone in a brothel. that would be a prostitute dear.
and to the girls
about the gay comment, i know you girls are right and i stand corrected there. i just think the guy in her life gave her the final little push she needed to explore her sexuality more. maybe eventually it would have happened , maybe not. it doesn't matter to me. she's been a great friend to me and a wonderful pregnancy resource. it's nice to see a girl rise from the ashes and find her happiness.
and to the girls
about the gay comment, i know you girls are right and i stand corrected there. i just think the guy in her life gave her the final little push she needed to explore her sexuality more. maybe eventually it would have happened , maybe not. it doesn't matter to me. she's been a great friend to me and a wonderful pregnancy resource. it's nice to see a girl rise from the ashes and find her happiness.
Just to "refresh" your memory since you appeared to have forgotten what you wrote/did in the past:
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIVSupport/messages/1828.html
If I were you, I would be VERY concerned about having contracted an STD based on your slew of symptoms and concerning sexual behaviour. Get help NOW and leave your girlfriend before you end up giving her a disease that could kill her. People that LOVE others dont intentionally act in ways that could harm them, let alone expose them to a potential death sentence.
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIVSupport/messages/1828.html
If I were you, I would be VERY concerned about having contracted an STD based on your slew of symptoms and concerning sexual behaviour. Get help NOW and leave your girlfriend before you end up giving her a disease that could kill her. People that LOVE others dont intentionally act in ways that could harm them, let alone expose them to a potential death sentence.
I agree with Barn Babe, go talk to someone face to face about what you are going through. Universities offer confidential, mental health counseling through their counseling centers. They usually offer free services to the community. Google your nearest university, and you can easily find this information.
I think it's interesting that you keep coming back to this thread. I think you need to take some time and figure things out. You are a young man, and this doesn't have to be the way you live your life. You can find happiness. You don't have to be in relationship, or you can choose to be in one that does not create so much guilt for you. It is obvious that you feel a lot of discomfort with the lying, so stop doing it. You'll feel better once you start living your life out in the open. I wish you the best of luck.
I think it's interesting that you keep coming back to this thread. I think you need to take some time and figure things out. You are a young man, and this doesn't have to be the way you live your life. You can find happiness. You don't have to be in relationship, or you can choose to be in one that does not create so much guilt for you. It is obvious that you feel a lot of discomfort with the lying, so stop doing it. You'll feel better once you start living your life out in the open. I wish you the best of luck.
Okay, NOW we may be bordering on some kind of sexual addiction here. This guy is in denial big-time about his behavior. I keep seeing lines like "I have a girlfriend who I would never want to harm."
BadDay, get some professional help. The HIV posts are really disturbing. You are clearly suffering from an anxiety disorder around a fear of contracting HIV. But also bothersome is your behavior with apparently many different sex partners without your "long-time" girlfriend knowing about it. You could possibly have a sex addiction.
There's no shame in getting psychological help for your problems. But you've obviously gone beyond what can be offered on a medical website with a bunch of Internet yahoos offering you "advice." You need professional counseling in the real world. I think the guilt and anxiety are keeping you hooked into this website (and possibly others) and preventing you from getting the help you need. Step away from the computer and call a therapist. I would go with a cognitive-behavioral therapist if I were you. I think they are good with the addiction-related behaviors more so than the psychodynamic (all talk) therapists.
If you can't find one in your local area, perhaps on sliding scale if you have no money, then call the local public health department and they should give you some names. You are not going to "get better" or get rid of your anxiety and solve the other issues hanging around here. It's just not going to happen.
I'll go out on a limb here and say that it is highly DOUBTFUL that YOU CAN DO THS ALONE. You need help. So go out and get it.
BadDay, get some professional help. The HIV posts are really disturbing. You are clearly suffering from an anxiety disorder around a fear of contracting HIV. But also bothersome is your behavior with apparently many different sex partners without your "long-time" girlfriend knowing about it. You could possibly have a sex addiction.
There's no shame in getting psychological help for your problems. But you've obviously gone beyond what can be offered on a medical website with a bunch of Internet yahoos offering you "advice." You need professional counseling in the real world. I think the guilt and anxiety are keeping you hooked into this website (and possibly others) and preventing you from getting the help you need. Step away from the computer and call a therapist. I would go with a cognitive-behavioral therapist if I were you. I think they are good with the addiction-related behaviors more so than the psychodynamic (all talk) therapists.
If you can't find one in your local area, perhaps on sliding scale if you have no money, then call the local public health department and they should give you some names. You are not going to "get better" or get rid of your anxiety and solve the other issues hanging around here. It's just not going to happen.
I'll go out on a limb here and say that it is highly DOUBTFUL that YOU CAN DO THS ALONE. You need help. So go out and get it.
it's all over the anxiety and hiv forums. i have no interest in arguing with you. funny how you repeatedly lash out with name calling though. i could have sworn you said you knew what you needed to do and were just going to handle it on your own or something to that effect.
i am not going to look through the three pages you posted as BadDay1972 or the other couple as iknowihaveit again to show you what i saw. if i, for some odd reason had a glitch and misspoke, because i pulled a thread from someone else, which i doubt, but computers do ocassionally screw up, i apologize. but in all honesty, it does not matter. you asked advice on your situation with your girlfriend. you did not give all the facts. you mentioned one girl you clicked with, but the fact is there have been several. you talk about fear of hiv, but are still with your girlfriend, and i hope are using protection, at least for her sake.
we gave you advice. you don't have to like it. but it is what it is.
she deserves to know what you have been doing, you need more therapy than you are getting, and hopefully you listen to their advice better than you do here.
it is evident that you don't find what you want anywhere here and have been banned at least once, possibly twice already, so why not move on?
i'm done with you. call names. scream. kick..whatever suits you.. i'll treat you just like any other child throwing a tantrum and ignore you.
i genuinely do hope all works out well, you don't have a disease and you fix yourself............somehow, i just doubt that'll happen
i am not going to look through the three pages you posted as BadDay1972 or the other couple as iknowihaveit again to show you what i saw. if i, for some odd reason had a glitch and misspoke, because i pulled a thread from someone else, which i doubt, but computers do ocassionally screw up, i apologize. but in all honesty, it does not matter. you asked advice on your situation with your girlfriend. you did not give all the facts. you mentioned one girl you clicked with, but the fact is there have been several. you talk about fear of hiv, but are still with your girlfriend, and i hope are using protection, at least for her sake.
we gave you advice. you don't have to like it. but it is what it is.
she deserves to know what you have been doing, you need more therapy than you are getting, and hopefully you listen to their advice better than you do here.
it is evident that you don't find what you want anywhere here and have been banned at least once, possibly twice already, so why not move on?
i'm done with you. call names. scream. kick..whatever suits you.. i'll treat you just like any other child throwing a tantrum and ignore you.
i genuinely do hope all works out well, you don't have a disease and you fix yourself............somehow, i just doubt that'll happen
Is stripper in Vegas kissed me! Does that sound like vaginal sex with a prostitute idiot!? Again...get your facts right before you post ok
this is what he posted in repsonse to someones comment in the HIV Forum... he talks about having a girlfriend for 7 years! sounds like your the same guy to me and everyone did type in badday1972 and found out who you really are!!
BadDay1972
4/3/2007
C3 Concerned84 Come on now man...not to comforting when you have a girlfriend of 7 years who you would NEVER want to harm! Just hope you don't have it? I hope I don't have a lot of s.h.i.t. but with my prior symptoms this seems a little more "real" if you know what I mean. It seems like I had the most intense symptoms out of everyone that's been on this forum lately yet I'm "crazy" of my so called "no risk" situation even though HIV through deep kissing has occurred...Seems a little harsh to me.
BadDay1972
4/3/2007
C3 Concerned84 Come on now man...not to comforting when you have a girlfriend of 7 years who you would NEVER want to harm! Just hope you don't have it? I hope I don't have a lot of s.h.i.t. but with my prior symptoms this seems a little more "real" if you know what I mean. It seems like I had the most intense symptoms out of everyone that's been on this forum lately yet I'm "crazy" of my so called "no risk" situation even though HIV through deep kissing has occurred...Seems a little harsh to me.
Brothel? what the hell is a brothel? I don't even know what that is. go ahead and post that thread with the nickname...i wouldn't even know where the hell to pick up a prostitute. Where the hell are you weirdos getting this s.h.i.t. from is what i wanna know? try typing in badday1972 in the search not just badday ok. You people need to get your facts right before you start accusing me of anything. Wow! i can't believe i'm having to explain myself like this.
*grins*
So, what do you REALLY think?
I'm with them, Bad. You need therapy if you ever want to have a chance at a normal, healthy relationship. If you are just wanting shallow, short term booty calls, there's plenty of that around. Just be clear with the girl first about where your head (the one 3 feet above your a$$) is.
So, what do you REALLY think?
I'm with them, Bad. You need therapy if you ever want to have a chance at a normal, healthy relationship. If you are just wanting shallow, short term booty calls, there's plenty of that around. Just be clear with the girl first about where your head (the one 3 feet above your a$$) is.
you come on here and tell us this BS but then!!! you want us to back off because you want to keep her and we dont know you!!!! you need more help than i thought. i wish i knew this poor gal, id tell her myself. you are the "dog" that women refer to. it has nothing to do with anything in ourselves, its the fact that you are a liar, cheater, self absorbed twit that thinks the world owes him something and has no responsiblity for his actions. cant believe you can actually sit here and justify your behaviour. you asked right up there in that title, should and how to end it! well we told you. i am biting my tongue right now! be a man.
C10: JohnnyV, it's not "rage" we are expressing here. At least on my part, it's not. When I read the OP's second post, I just shook my head. HIs denial is running pretty deep. It's all over both of his posts, but the second one especially just drips with it.
Guys like "BadDay" walk among us in droves, JohnnyV. They are out there working out their bad childhoods on unsuspecting women when they should be on a therapist's couch paying for professional help. I dated a few of them myself in my younger days. It's tough not to do if you are a single woman for an extended period of time in our culture. These guys are a dime a dozen, and generally not worth the paper their phone number is printed on.
The problem is that people go into adulthood and relationships with the baggage from their childhood not worked out. In the case of BadDay, he's been involved in a 7-year relationship from the time he was a teenager. Bad news, at least from the standpoint of getting his own psychological house in order. Why? Because relationships can often "distract" us from doing work on ourselves, and if the damage done to us in the past is sufficiently bad, the "right" partner won't be able to overcome that damage with their love and support. I do believe love and support can *help* make some people come to love themselves a little more and help them grow emotionally, but it can't do the heavy lifting that the person himself has to do on his own to undo some of the damage.
At the very least, BadDay has shown us he has neither the communication skill set nor the desire to operate on the level of a mature adult in his relationships - by openly communicating his concerns to his partner. As a result, he has two women along for the ride in his dysfunctional drama, is now suffering the blowback himself (supposedly) with guilt and self-loathing, yet feels paralyzed to change his behavior.
Nope. It's not "rage" I'm feeling. I'm a little bit amused by it all, frankly. Been there, done that, if you know what I mean. Sounds like you have, too. What I don't hear BadDay saying is that he is going to own his behavior and start making changes. I think he came on here looking for sympathy and got thrown for a loop when he didn't get it.
BTW, I'm sure there are plenty of women out there pulling this cr*p on men as well. Since I'm a straight female, I'm coming at this from my own viewpoint. And all I can tell you is, men like BadDay are more common than you think. And that's too bad.
Guys like "BadDay" walk among us in droves, JohnnyV. They are out there working out their bad childhoods on unsuspecting women when they should be on a therapist's couch paying for professional help. I dated a few of them myself in my younger days. It's tough not to do if you are a single woman for an extended period of time in our culture. These guys are a dime a dozen, and generally not worth the paper their phone number is printed on.
The problem is that people go into adulthood and relationships with the baggage from their childhood not worked out. In the case of BadDay, he's been involved in a 7-year relationship from the time he was a teenager. Bad news, at least from the standpoint of getting his own psychological house in order. Why? Because relationships can often "distract" us from doing work on ourselves, and if the damage done to us in the past is sufficiently bad, the "right" partner won't be able to overcome that damage with their love and support. I do believe love and support can *help* make some people come to love themselves a little more and help them grow emotionally, but it can't do the heavy lifting that the person himself has to do on his own to undo some of the damage.
At the very least, BadDay has shown us he has neither the communication skill set nor the desire to operate on the level of a mature adult in his relationships - by openly communicating his concerns to his partner. As a result, he has two women along for the ride in his dysfunctional drama, is now suffering the blowback himself (supposedly) with guilt and self-loathing, yet feels paralyzed to change his behavior.
Nope. It's not "rage" I'm feeling. I'm a little bit amused by it all, frankly. Been there, done that, if you know what I mean. Sounds like you have, too. What I don't hear BadDay saying is that he is going to own his behavior and start making changes. I think he came on here looking for sympathy and got thrown for a loop when he didn't get it.
BTW, I'm sure there are plenty of women out there pulling this cr*p on men as well. Since I'm a straight female, I'm coming at this from my own viewpoint. And all I can tell you is, men like BadDay are more common than you think. And that's too bad.
People, I'm stunned at the responses in this thread. There are an awful lot of bright women around this forum. I'm impressed with the strength I'm seeing here.
Nice work, ladies! :D
Nice work, ladies! :D
i needed that laugh, ***** sisters. with my anxiety flying high today, any small token of humor is so appreciated!!
I just don't go around looking for sex! Please, when you fess up please also let her know it was with a cheap stripper. YOU only wrote about it on the HIV forum. You are pathetic... Please say the truth if you need help.
cheers women!
cheers women!
go to the hiv support (not dr) forum . you have to go back to april 3rd. i remember reading this thinking what a dumb @ss!! dude (you speak that right?) you are a waste of our time. what could you possibly think telling us off they way you did and then we find this? i found it by typing his name under search and there were many, i have to go read the rest now!! i cant stop smiling how you really think you are so above us women lol. hehehhehe
BadDay1972
3/1/2007
. Somebody please help me!
HIV is officially haunting me. I just spent a couple of days in the hospital from pneumonia. My doctor asked me if I had HIV which scared the hell out of me. She asked me several times. I told her I didn't think so. I was tested the next day with a rapid oraquick hiv-1 test and it came back negative. This is a list of my exposures and symptoms prior to that test.
3/3/06 - Unprotected one night stand - vaginal sex with a girl - NEGATIVE HIV-1 test 3 months later7/16/06 - Received Protected oral sex from stripper
9/23/06 - Unprotected Vaginal sex with friend
10/10/06 - Protected vaginal sex with girl i met a few weeks earlier
- I was also diagnosed with prostatitis in january 07.
1/25/07 - made out with stripper
1/26/07 - made out/grinded nude with girl i met night before - no penetrated sex.
mid feb - high fever for 4 days, chills, headache, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, puss on tonsils, diarreah, vomiting, back pain, sore joints, trouble breathing, sore throat, etc. but no coughing or mucous which are characteristics of pneumonia.
REST OF STORY CONTINUED ON NEXT POST BELOW
The "Comments" posted below are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! Med Help International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any "Comments
3/1/2007
. Somebody please help me!
HIV is officially haunting me. I just spent a couple of days in the hospital from pneumonia. My doctor asked me if I had HIV which scared the hell out of me. She asked me several times. I told her I didn't think so. I was tested the next day with a rapid oraquick hiv-1 test and it came back negative. This is a list of my exposures and symptoms prior to that test.
3/3/06 - Unprotected one night stand - vaginal sex with a girl - NEGATIVE HIV-1 test 3 months later7/16/06 - Received Protected oral sex from stripper
9/23/06 - Unprotected Vaginal sex with friend
10/10/06 - Protected vaginal sex with girl i met a few weeks earlier
- I was also diagnosed with prostatitis in january 07.
1/25/07 - made out with stripper
1/26/07 - made out/grinded nude with girl i met night before - no penetrated sex.
mid feb - high fever for 4 days, chills, headache, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, puss on tonsils, diarreah, vomiting, back pain, sore joints, trouble breathing, sore throat, etc. but no coughing or mucous which are characteristics of pneumonia.
REST OF STORY CONTINUED ON NEXT POST BELOW
The "Comments" posted below are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! Med Help International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any "Comments
I've read all your posts about five times each now. Okay, let me try to get this straight.
-You say you love your gf, but you're not "in love" with her anymore.
-You can't imagine your life without her, but you don't want to marry her.
-You've cheated on her more than once, and she doesn't know.
-You claim this cheating behavior is something you think is out of your control.
-You want to confront her with the truth of what you've done to her.
-You think this other woman you met has the potential to really make you happy.
-You think your gf deserves better than you because she's such a loving and good-hearted person who would never dream of doing anything like this to you.
This is what you've posted.
So here's my advice; forgive me if it doesn't comfort your behavior.
You're using your gf like a toddler uses a security blanket. You don't need her. Your attention is diverted from her and has been for a while. But she's your comfort zone, your convenience.
If you get dumped by someone else, you have her. She's your "backup" girl and she doesn't even know it. You know her more personally than you know anyone else. So she'll be there to stroke your ego for you when you feel guilt or you feel like you've got no chance of having any other long-term relationship. But when it comes down to it, she's your "security blankey," not the love of your life that you think is going to be a lost once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you break up with her. Let her go, it'll hurt for a while, then you'll move on in a more mature way.
You screwed up, but you want to delay the inevitable consequences of your actions. You can't take them back, so let this be a learning experience.
If you don't tell her, she'll find out sooner or later.
Grow a backbone and tell her the truth. There's no way to sugar coat it. There's no way you can tell her without hurting her more than you already have without her knowledge.
Like I said, if SHE decides to stick with you, which I doubt she will, then consult a relationship councelor. Maybe they could help you "fall back in love again."
In any case, see a regular councelor yourself to get help for your self-hate and loyalty problems. Quit boo-hooing about not knowing what's wrong with you and take some action.
And for future reference, if you ask for advice, be willing to accept it. You asked if and how you should end it, and you also volunteered all your personal gripes about yourself. I can guarantee you you'd get the same reaction anywhere else, because who wants to defend lying, cheating, unloyal, selfish and backstabbing behavior, no matter how pitiful you sound?
-You say you love your gf, but you're not "in love" with her anymore.
-You can't imagine your life without her, but you don't want to marry her.
-You've cheated on her more than once, and she doesn't know.
-You claim this cheating behavior is something you think is out of your control.
-You want to confront her with the truth of what you've done to her.
-You think this other woman you met has the potential to really make you happy.
-You think your gf deserves better than you because she's such a loving and good-hearted person who would never dream of doing anything like this to you.
This is what you've posted.
So here's my advice; forgive me if it doesn't comfort your behavior.
You're using your gf like a toddler uses a security blanket. You don't need her. Your attention is diverted from her and has been for a while. But she's your comfort zone, your convenience.
If you get dumped by someone else, you have her. She's your "backup" girl and she doesn't even know it. You know her more personally than you know anyone else. So she'll be there to stroke your ego for you when you feel guilt or you feel like you've got no chance of having any other long-term relationship. But when it comes down to it, she's your "security blankey," not the love of your life that you think is going to be a lost once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you break up with her. Let her go, it'll hurt for a while, then you'll move on in a more mature way.
You screwed up, but you want to delay the inevitable consequences of your actions. You can't take them back, so let this be a learning experience.
If you don't tell her, she'll find out sooner or later.
Grow a backbone and tell her the truth. There's no way to sugar coat it. There's no way you can tell her without hurting her more than you already have without her knowledge.
Like I said, if SHE decides to stick with you, which I doubt she will, then consult a relationship councelor. Maybe they could help you "fall back in love again."
In any case, see a regular councelor yourself to get help for your self-hate and loyalty problems. Quit boo-hooing about not knowing what's wrong with you and take some action.
And for future reference, if you ask for advice, be willing to accept it. You asked if and how you should end it, and you also volunteered all your personal gripes about yourself. I can guarantee you you'd get the same reaction anywhere else, because who wants to defend lying, cheating, unloyal, selfish and backstabbing behavior, no matter how pitiful you sound?
there are 3 pages of him all over the boards. you need to keep your dick in your pants, you are possibly opening yourself to disease, but more importantly your girlfriend and any others you screw. do you care? i consider that to be one of the most disgusting things a person can do. you have been so worried for months now about disease yet you keep ******* whoever you want. pardon my french but you are not worthy of anyones attention or love at this point. you need some serious fixing on yourself. you can get as mad at me as you want but this isnt "normal" behaviour. therapy therapy therapy.
Wow, I missed these posts while I was posting my last one!
No pity here, I don't feel at all sorry for this guy.
If his gf is as good as he says she is, she deserves WAY better than this!
No pity here, I don't feel at all sorry for this guy.
If his gf is as good as he says she is, she deserves WAY better than this!
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