Should I keep it?

I met a guy in late Nov. he was a really great guy except he had a girlfriend. He told me that upfront. I would ask him about getting to know me better, he told me he didnt see me that way. I would constanly beg him to come over, he would always tell me no. OK one night he was drunk he came over, we had sex. He told me it was a mistake, and he was wrong for being there. i told him not to worry, that i was on the pill and i wasnt trying to have kids with him. i have two kids already.

I found out i was pregnant. i told him that. he begged me to not have this child. I told him that i liked the way he begged. I also told him that i was with someone new yrs eve and someone after i got with him.  i want to have this kid but he is begging me not too. i told him i would have the abortion, i then changed my mind and now hes freaking out. i always wanted a son. i joked with him and said if he would marry me i would have the abortion, he didnt think that was funny. he was talking about committing suicide and i told him if he did that i would be at his funeral to get his DNA so i could get my money. he never lied to me about his relationship and he didnt dog me out. i told him he didnt use me, and my intentions were to sleep with him to get him to leave his girlfriend. he doesnt call me anymore, and the third guy i was with changed his number.

whenever i do talk to him he sounds so disgusted to talk with me, i guess because he has no choice in the matter, and i told him that based on my past experiences i dont care about mens feelings. he doesnt have any kids either so this would be his first.

what do you guys think?

[bip]

I think the guy is a user and he dosen't want no responiblity of his child. I think if  men don't want a child don't have sex cause it's a chance  of getting a girl pregant. Any guy ever told me to get abortion I would never ever talk to them in my life and when I have the baby I would make them support  there child.  That's a baby.  doesn't he understand you would be killing a baby. some reason he wants his way out.  You do the best for you and your baby. You can do it without him.  I know you were saying you have other children.  Im sure your a good mom. Get rid of him you don't need a guy to tell you to get a abortion. That must hurt your feelings. please make the right choice keep the baby and tell him to go.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

[RockRose]

Do you look like Glenn Close?

[bip]

who are you askin that to?

[RockRose]

I was asking the original poster.  Our posts were posted at the same time.

[havemercyplease]

I told him that i was going to have the abortion, but i then changed my mind. Then he started freaking out. I told him that i have had an abortion before. He tells me that i am playing with his mind. But i dont really care about his feelings, i dont even know him that well.

[havemercyplease]

we had casual conversations before, and he told me of how he wanted a normal family and no kids out of wedlock and things of that nature. like i said he didnt lead me on to believing that he would be with me. I knew what i was getting into. I told him that i want to have this kid so i would never be lonely. he begged so much for me not to have this kid, he didnt try to force me, i just really didnt care about what he said. i told him he didnt have to be involved and for him not to tell anyone. i also told him im used to men not being there. my first kid i cheated on my boyfriend and got pregnant by someone else, and my second kid the guy had a girlfriend that i knew about  and i got pregnant by him too, so this isnt new to me. its new to him because he doesnt have any kids and has never gotten anyone pregnant. he shouldnt have came over my house drunk lol.

[RockRose]

good lord

[pertykitty]

this is a joke. not a great one either. nobody can be this....well i hope there are no rabbits around this acorn!! maybe its vato's girlfriend.

[havemercyplease]

no actually its not a joke, i am just trying to make light of this situation because i am really confused. I just hate that i am in this situation again. i really dont know what to do. please dont judge me.

[bip]

I think what you should do just have this child and get rid of. I know it's easy said than done but the guy sounds like a loser. Please don't have the abortion you will regret this for the rest of your life. Im sure your smart.

[bedtimestory]

Jesus Christ!!!! Have you ever seeing a psychiatrist? Do not get offended by this. It's just that, in case you are telling the truth, this is not a normal behavior. Why would you want to get yourself into that type of situation?

[pertykitty]

." i told him i would have the abortion, i then changed my mind and now hes freaking out. i always wanted a son. i joked with him and said if he would marry me i would have the abortion, he didnt think that was funny. he was talking about committing suicide and i told him if he did that i would be at his funeral to get his DNA so i could get my money. "

does this sound like a sane person to you???? its only part of the crazyness you have said. i cant imagine any man saying he would commit suicide over this, but hey maybe you two were made for each other. i think rather than a public forum you need a mental health hosp. normal people just dont act this way.

[bip]

I can't belive it I just read your post again you had a abortion before. How could you do that to yourself? That is why this guy is saying this to you he thinks you will have a abortion again. Don't tell guys you had abortion.  I hope you think twice and keep this baby it is not the babies fault  this happened.

[AHP84]

Okay, first of all, yes, keep the baby and don't have an abortion. Abortion is murder (although I know certain others will strongly disagree...barn babe, you around? :-) ).

Now, I just have to get this out--sorry if it's harsh. You sound like a real piece of work, havemercyplease. You have two children by two different fathers, and now this one, with yet different man. Have you no respect for yourself, your kids, and men? Anyone?

You desperately try to get a man that's taken and has no interest in you, then you take advantage of him when he's drunk (I'm in no way defending him, but you posted this, so this is about you). Then you go and tell him that you slept around with, what, two other guys, so you don't even know if the baby is his?

I don't care how stupid this guy was to get himself involved with you; the fact that you say stuff like, "i liked the way he begged," "i joked with him and said if he would marry me i would have the abortion, he didnt think that was funny," "i would be at his funeral to get his DNA so i could get my money," that's all manipulative and shallow on your part.

If you're used to men letting you down in life, and you don't trust them, you don't care about their feelings, and you expect them to not be there for you and your children, then why on earth did you tell this guy you were pregnant and then mess with his emotions? You could've just never told him...what difference would it make with you?

And another thing--you want another kid so you'll never be lonely? Well, where are the two kids you have now? On top of that, you want a son?! You don't respect or like men, it sounds like, and you want a son? Why--so you can use and manipulate him when he gets older? Of course, if he's raised under your care, I suppose he'll be used to conniving, manipulating women that will treat him with the utmost disrespect in his future.

You don't want to be judged? Get some decent morals, for your sake and your children's. You all deserve better, and it starts with you. I don't know what your story is for playing with men's emotions, but for goodness sake, get a grip, wake up and realize that men are just as human as you are, emotions and all. Start treating them with respect, along with yourself by no longer putting yourself in these "abandoned by men" positions anymore, and your life will start looking up.

Do this for yourself and your three children. Like I said, you all deserve so much better, and it starts with you.

[havemercyplease]

Youre absolutely right. i should not have said anything to him. i just really did not know what to do. the third guy changed his number and i have not heard from him.  the guy in question does not call me and if i do talk to him he sounds utterly disgusted with me. he keeps beating himself up for getting involved with me. he was really a happy person until this came about. my children are with me, one is 5 the other is 14 and she will be leaving me soon, so i know if i have another one i will always have someone around. i was just being sarcastic when i said those things, even though it wasnt the best thing to say at the time especially since he hasnt been thru anything like this before in his life. i was just trying to make him laugh or feel better. i really thought i could get close to him thru sex, but that didnt work.  he is a nervous wreck... just pray for me please

[bip]

I agree everything you said.  You sound like you are very smart!!!!

[AHP84]

I will pray for you. I sincerely mean that.

Have your baby and get some help.

God bless,
-AJH

[bip]

Please just do the right thing for you, your kids, and the baby  I didn't mean to be cruel to you I just can't stand when people have abortions.  Promise me keep this baby and try to get everything straighten out.  Im here for you  if you need to talk.  how many months are you? I hope everything goes well for you.

[chellybeans]

you sound absolutely insane. you cannot use sex to manipulate people. you knew he was involved, you knew he was not interested and yet you moved in when he was in a weak minded state and tried to steal him from someone he loves. yes, he is at fault to. bet he wishes he had lost your number long ago. before you went "fatal attraction" on him!

i feel really bad for your children as they are learnng from everything you do. they are like sponges soaking in all of this nasty behavior. you ARE toying with this man's mind and his life.

in my opinion, which is all i have to give you on a forum, this baby should be placed up for adoption. you do not sound at all mentally stable and capable of parenting in any sound manner.

i will pray, but for your children. they had no choice in this situation you seem to think is fun to force on people.

[pertykitty]

if you have a 14 yr old child you definatly have issues. this is the way a teenager might behave not a 30something yr old. having a child so you wont be lonely is rediculous. get a puppy or a cat. i dont think you should spread yourself too thin,,, i dont think it would work well for you.

[bip]

I agree with you I didn't even think of that give it up for adoption. I  have 2 handsome boyz and they are my number 1 I try my best to take care of them. They are bestfriend would not to know what to do without them. I just hope she makes the right choice I think if you don't want  kids don't have sex  the safest way to go.

[havemercyplease]

Yeah i know i just turned 34, and i have two daughters. I shouldnt have played with his mind. I think he lost his job from stressing over this. I just dont know what to say to him. My  due date is 0ct 16th and it doesnt point to him, i am just afraid to call him because i know he is really upset, thanks for your words

[peekawho]

This is what I mean, ya'll.  There ARE worse things than abortion.

[bip]

Just don't worry about him. Worry about  you and your kids. Your kids come before  anyone. Ihave 2 boyz and married and believe me I take them over him.

best of luck

[AHP84]

If you know for certain that the baby is not his, then tell him. Plain and simple. And tell him you're deeply sorry for what you put him through (if you truly are).

Then cut off all contact with this poor guy. Sounds like you really put him through hell. At least have the decency to give him some closure so he can move on.

If the baby is indeed his, and you KNOW this for a FACT, then tell him he has a baby with you, but don't demand anything else from him. You conned him into it; I don't think he owes you anything. If he doesn't want to be a part of his child's life, that's his loss (and it really is). But he shouldn't be required to owe you anything for taking advantage of him, using him, manipulating him, and costing him his job.

Either you take it up on your own or put the baby up for adoption if you can't handle it.

[havemercyplease]

Yeah you are probably right, you are very smart. thank you for all your insight. I really appreciate this.

[pertykitty]

im 35 and i just cant imagine this is for real!!

[AHP84]

Just something to think about if you consider abortion.

You said your due date is Oct. 16. So this means you have just entered your fourth month of pregnancy, the second trimester. Your baby is approximately 20-23 weeks along, give or take. There is scientific proof that the unborn baby can feel pain at 20 weeks gestation and after.
Your baby has a human form, a heartbeat, a circulatory system, a functioning brain, human facial features, and I'm sure you can now feel the baby move inside you. This is a little human life. Abortion will end that.
Your choice--just something to think about.

Whatever you do, get psychological help. But I pray that you continue to give your baby life. A baby doesn't deserve punishment of death for its parents' messed up behavior.

[PGB]

Boy Howdy!!! I took a break from coming here for a couple of months and this is the first thread I read when I came back. Some things never change, do they??

[Jordy]

I'm of the bandwagon that this original post is a fraud.  Her posts really, truly sound like someone screwing around online.

[havemercyplease]

I am not aborting the child, I am a good mother and I know I sound like I am crazy. I just really didnt know what to do. I am just in a bad situation. The guy wont take my calls. This is just something that i am going to have to deal with alone. This really isnt a hoax. I shouldnt have said the things i said to that guy even if i was being sarcastic. Like i said though, I am not aborting the baby.

[chellybeans]

why on earth should he take your calls?!!!!

i mean
a) it is not his baby
b) you told him you were with two other men
c) you needed him drunk to seduce him and lied about birth control
d) you told him you liked the way he begged(nutso)
e) you harassed him incessantly

need i go on? really?

leave the man alone. he does not want to be with you. he escaped this mess(lucky guy) if the baby is not his.

why are you trying to call him? all he has to do is request a paternity test and your game is blown outta the water.

if all of what you say is really, honestly true, then you probably have a really bad obsessive/borderline type personality disorder. or maybe you are a compulsive liar. i don't know which, but i'd bet it's one or the other.

as for the child, abortion is an option, but adoption would be better. you are not interested in abortion(thankfully) so start looking into agencies. make some couple really happy and give this baby a life outside of your bizzare grasp. this baby can have a very happy life. i just don't think anyone that has the type of issues you do can provide that.

so in answer to your what should you do...

get to a psychiatrist and tell them honestly all that you told us.

talk to an adoption agency.

leave this man alone. he is not the dad and owes you nothing.

pray he does not decide to press charges against you for stalking and/or harrassing him.

get std testing since you are clearly promiscuos(sp?) and don't use protection.

[mami1323]

One question, are you going to teach your girls on how to manipulate men in relationships?  You as a woman, should respect the boundaries of relationships.  I don't care what you've been through in the past, but just because you like someone does not mean that you should be going after them when they are obviously in a committed relationship.  How would you feel if it was you who was the girlfriend?  I'm not putting the full blame on you, because you were not in this alone but I just find your behavior despicable.  Plus to have a child because you don't want to be alone is not the right reason to have a child.  Where is the father of your other two daughters?  You really need to go get some counselling, if not for you than for your children.  Your girls are learning from your example and are going to repeat the same patterns of descructive behavior.  You want them to grow up and be able to understand what a healthy, mature relationship is all about.  They certainly aren't seeing that from you.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

TROLL TROLL TROLL

Or the world is a very scary place and certain people should have mandatory sterilization.

[bip]

Good Im glad to here you are not aborting this baby. Do you promise you will not abort?  I know you have some problems but ir's really not the babies fault. Really Im just so against of abortions. Just sit down relax and sort out things we all make mistakes doesn't mean your a bad person I  know you can do this if you really want to deep inside.  be careful not only getting pregant diseases are out there. Im a mom with 2 boyz it's hard for being a parent. We do it. we teach them the right things. I hope everything goes well with you. Forget about the guy worry about you your kids, and the baby. Take care of yourself and if you need anyone to talk to Im here to help you.  Keep me posted and let me know how everything is. Anytime you need to talk post to me and Ill talk to you.

BEST WISHES!!!!

[mami1323]

She is a bad person...did you not read the things she's done to this guy?  Would you like it if someone did that to you or the person you were with?  Yes we all make mistakes but being 34 years old and tormenting another person does not make you a saint.  People have issues...yes...but what she's done is sickening.  Just saying be a good mom to your kids and forget about this guy is like saying sure go ahead and lie to this man and make him think that he has a child out there and do it just because you can.  This isn't ok.  How can she be a good parent if this is how she behaves?

[AHP84]

Same here...if you'd like to post to talk with me as well, just address the post to me.

I really hope that I was not too harsh or anything, but it seemed you needed to realize what it was that you had done, and what you are doing. From your first couple of posts, it really sounded like you were clueless as to why you even ended up in this situation, and why this man sounded so "disgusted" with you.

I really hope this is not all made up on your part. Sounds like it could be, but then again, I know your situation is possible in this day and age. I'd like to help and be supportive and encouraging for a better future for you and your kids.

And personally, I believe you're off to a good start by choosing to give birth to your baby.

[barn babe]

This thread has become a shining example of why the pro-criminalization crowd cares nothing for children once they are born. If this poster's story doesn't prove this to anybody, you are obviously too far gone in magical thinking to understand  the manipulation of the pro-criminalizaton crowd and their uttery hypocrisy in their positions.

What is really a shame is that magical thinkers are the norm in our society. Sad but true. Xtianism is one of the most dangerous and idiotic dogmas and has no place in the lives of rational folks who use reason, science, and logic in their lives.

If this poster is for real, I feel very very sorry for the kids she currently has. What a dysfunctional household they must be growing up in. But to bring another kid into this delusional and borderline woman's life is just idiotic in the extreme.

ACHE mentioned where along this bimbo is in her pregnancy, and it appears that it might be too late to abort this fetus. Meaning, it's now against the law in the U.S. due to the recent S.Ct. ruling. So she's shite out of luck on that one, I believe.

That's too bad. Aborting this fetus would have been in the best  interests of everybody. The woman clearly has emotional problems and what appears to be some kind of psychiatric disorder. But she's in denial big-time. Continuing to try to make contact with someone that doesn't want it is harassment, at the very least.

If it is too late to abort, I hope this woman gives up the child for adoption. It certainly couldn't have a WORSE life than growing up in the household of this manipulative, dishonest, and immature woman.

What an utter travesty.

[bip]

I know where you are coming from she does have problems she needs to get counceling  I know she shouldn't have done that. Im just pointing out the baby is suffering  what she did. If she keeps getting pregant and having babies that isn't good.  If her mind is not all there adoption she should do and get some help. You can do so much for a perosn and helped them but they have to help themselves.  she had a abortion before that isn't good.  you just can't keep having babies and decide to  get abortion.  the sad thing is the baby didn't even ask to come in this world.

[sparkeler]

LOL

[mami1323]

I hear you on that but the problem isn't her having abortions the problem is that she keeps getting pregnant in the first place.  First the behavior needs to stop, than she needs to get herself on some type of birth control so that she doesn't need to even be in a position like this.  

If this poster is real than I just am very saddened for the children.

[AHP84]

It seems to me that the "pro-criminalization" crowd, along with basically everyone else who's posted, has recommended this woman to give the baby up for adoption. Why? Because it would clearly be best for the baby. Does that count as caring anything for the baby once it's born for those of us who are against abortion?

If she decides to keep the baby after it's born, that's her choice (freedom of choice, right?) No one can force her to adopt out her baby. Just like no one could force her to have an abortion.

One way or the other, she definitely needs psychological help. Helping herself in that area will get her on a better track for parenting to the two kids she already has.

[bip]

I agree everything you are saying.  She should stop having sex, see a councelor and take care of her kids.  When her kids grow they are going to be like that to  and that is not good.  she needs to straighten out for her kids. I just get upset when I hear stuff like this.

[pertykitty]

here we go again, maybe we can keep this thread toward her, and not into personal discussion with everyone but her.

[Jordy]

Um, Barn Babe, everyone is telling her to give the child up for adoption.  How is that NOT caring for the baby?  Granted, we can't exactly reach into an anonymous internet board and grab up that baby in our own arms; all anyone can do here is recommend the healthiest outcome possible for that child...being adopted out to a loving home.

And before I get accused of having no clue about the success or failure of adoptions, I have two wonderful cousins who were adopted into my family as newborn infants.

Despite all that anyway, I'm not entirely clear WHAT the original poster is asking.  Has anyone noticed she's not clear at all what her actual problem is?  DOES she want the father's inclusion?  She's already said she won't abort, so is she asking if she should give it up?

WHAT IS THIS WOMAN ASKING???  She's babbling nonsensically about whatever her situation is.  Three children with different fathers?  So?  That's a mess, for sure, but what advice is she looking for?

[bip]

I think we all harmed her enough why don't we just let it go and she is going to do what she wants to do.  All we can do is pray the child is fine she wants to put the child up for adoption let her. she wants to keep the child she will. All she wanted advise what she should do we all gave her advise. Just let it go and let her do her own thing.

[AHP84]

I think the poster is trying to figure out why this man that she's saying is the possible father is so "disgusted" with her. I think she wants to know whether or not she should try to keep him involved.

That's just my guess--I could be wrong. You raise a good point.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I still say this is a hoax.

I think "hollie" is back and trying to cause trouble.

[pertykitty]

this person saw how heated the previous abortion post was and thought they would feed the fire. she titled it should i keep it, tells us she has had previous abortions and now says she could never have it. hoax, troll, whatever name suits, she is just here to stir that pot. there are many fakes posts throughout this site the past few days, im wondering how long it will go before medhelp figures her out.

[havemercyplease]

Wow

[bip]

you guys think this is a joke? did this ever happen before on this? Im new here.

[confused1031]

if everyone searches her name up top under search yo will see what she wrote in the womens health forum.. she posed as a guy, i think this definately is a fake!

[pertykitty]

oh grasshopper you are one fine detective!!

[barn babe]

Wow, I'm late to this party!

(Sorry I'm late, ACHE, I left my briefcase in a restaurant and had to go back and get it and couldn't get a cab.)   : (

Okay, the original poster's elevator is clearly not going to the top. Her post sounds like a con, frankly.

But if it's not a charade, yeah, you definitely need to abort. You are a poster child for why keeping Roe in place is a  good thing.

I still think you're putting us on, but if not, find a Planned Parenthood near you and have an abortion. You sound manipulative and somewhat delusional, and these are not qualities that will serve you in your parenting tasks now, or in the future. Subjecting another child to your immaturity, manipulative behavior, and self-centeredness would be considered  cruel and quite damaging to the child.

I was going to recommend therapy for you because you sound  emotionally damaged yourself. Unfortunately, I'm sniffing narcissistic and borderline personality characteristics here, and those are both tough nuts to crack for therapists.  But it might be worth a try.  

For a  34-year-old, you have a lot of work to do on yourself.  I would have guessed maybe 17, 18, at the outside when I read your original message.

I also definitely recommend you  use condoms in the future.

[bip]

I really don't think she should have a abortion but I know where you are coming from  I think she should put the baby up for adoption.   Your right she needs to wear condums to.

[RS1234]

Your insane. What is wrong with you. Your trying to break up a guy and his gf. Your pretty much laughing at him saying hes gonna kill himself. Get the abortion and get help.

[bip]

why should she kill a baby it's not the babies fault that she's messed up she should just give it up for adoption stop having sex  and get some help with her head.   This baby is innocent and can have a happy life if she gives it up for adoption.

[Trialanderror]

What a thread, what a hoax. In case she keeps the baby, let`s just hope this kind of insanity is not genetic.

[sagad]

here;s the link

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/WomensHealth/messages/12383.html

[mami1323]

It's the same story but it's telling it in a guy's perspective.  Very strange.  Well havemercyplease...you have anything to tell us?  What's the real deal?

[misscloey]

First of all to bip - DO NOT ARGUE with barn babe, you will NEVER win! She can talk circles around you for days on end. No offense barn, we obviously disagree on many subjects, but you will be surprised to know that I am with you on this one. Secondly, to original poster, you have got to be joking right?
I cannot figure out if this is a joke or what. Where is your self respect? How can you expect anyone to respect you if you don't respect yourself? Getting pregnant and having children is not a game, yet you talk so casually about it as if you are hurting all these men and getting the last laugh. I hardly doubt it.
I personally do not think that anyone should get pregnant for fun and then abort the baby, that is just sick. I do believe that you should be able to chose if you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy and unable to care for the child. But, whatever... You need to grow up and start acting like an adult. If you are old enough to spread your legs for all these men, then you should be mature enough to deal with all the associated consequences, and to me it doesn't sound like you are. Good luck.  

[bip]

Do you think she is trying to get attention from everybody? If this is fake she is not all there.

[bip]

What name is it under that she wrote in the women forum? I couldn't find it.

[mami1323]

Same name.  Just type it in exactly and it will pull up the last thread she/he wrote.

[bip]

the last post was to you I spelled your name wrong.

[bip]

WOW I read it. She seriously has something wrong with her and she definitly needs help now   She is not all there. Now I know something is wrong.

[peekawho]

Just a comment for the "adopt it out" camp.

Let me tell you how seldom that comes to pass.  Sure, there are some that go through with it..  But I see depressing situations almost every day where a girl changes her mind and keeps the baby.    My totally off the wall guess from my 30 years in L&D is that perhaps 20% of girls who originally plan to adopt the baby out go through with it.

The rest see the baby, and change their minds.  Money, college, a good job, it all goes out the window.  Many of them make this poster seem incredibly wise and mature.  
I'm sure that these babies might suffer greatly throughout their  lives.  Better to end it before it begins, in some circumstances.  If this were a real post, this would be one of those times.  

Actually, very few even consider adoption any more.  And those who plan on it often change their minds at the last second.

Many of you just see the word "baby", and a magical glowing light surrounds you and you are in heaven thinking of the sweet little thing...aww, how could anyone THINK about not having one?  You guys often suffer from baby dust poisoning, I think.  YOUR wanting one interferes with your ability to see the horror that can happen when someone who is not ready to have a child, has one and doesn't give it up.  

Many people live in unusual and often horrible conditions, or are horrible people as this poster (if she were real) is.  Better to not even let the baby be born than risk her not giving it up, keeping it, and making its life a living hell.  

How many already born babies have to be abused, neglected, tortured, burned, starved, or mangled before some of you might open up your minds just a little?  

If you are personally against abortion, DON'T HAVE ONE.  

[Jordy]

Well, looks like someone's lame attempt to restart the now-deleted abortion thread has succeeded.

[barn babe]

"Well, looks like someone's lame attempt to restart the now-deleted abortion thread has succeeded."

Every comment peekawho made is relevant to the original post. You don't like it because you are one of the knuckle-dragging  pro-criminalization supporters. Nowhere did I see you make a similar remark about your pro-criminalization pals upthread.

Perhaps it's time for you to crawl back into  your hole of non-reality-based magical thoughts. You know the one, Jokey - your bright and beautiful world where everybody is rich, psychologically stable, able to care for as many children as they want, and those who decide they would rather abort are thrown in jail, along with the doctors who perform the procedures.

Oh, and the unicorns.

[AHP84]

So what's the REAL story?

If this is all true, then why did you post as a male in the Women's Health forum?

I'd like to believe you to help you out with some constructive criticism and good advice. Everyone else in this forum would like to help too--you could really get a variety of helpful perspective here.

But as for me, you're going to have to convince me that you and your story is real.

Otherwise, I'm not wasting my time with this thread anymore.

[bip]

I agree everything you say. You are very smart. If I ever have problems Ill  talk to you.

[barn babe]

"I agree everything you say."

Highly doubtful, given your abortion stance upthread.  

"You are very smart."

Thanks, but I'm  not really. I could use a few more brain cells.

[bip]

I think havemeryplease needs help now.  I read her post on women health and she posted here about this. WOW she  is not all there.

[Jordy]

Get off it barn babe, I made a general comment about the original poster.

I don't think the world is perfect.  I think there are extremely bad problems in it.  I'm not rich; far from it.  All I say is that abortion is murdering a baby.  Just so you'll know, I am pro-choice for pretty much everything OTHER than murdering another human life.  Divorce, gay marriage, pursuit of happiness at any field, atheism, agnosticism, go for it.  Why does it bother you so much that some people wouldn't do what THEY consider to be killing a baby?  I wouldn't kill an adult, I wouldn't kill a teenager, I wouldn't kill a child, I wouldn't kill a newborn, and I wouldn't kill a pre-born child.  You insult people who are essentially saying, they won't KILL another human being.  That is disturbing.  The thing is, I'd find your argument a lot more valuable if you'd just confront whether or not you believe abortion is killing.  If you say no, then I don't agree, but I DO understand your perspective.  You, however, refuse to even consider exactly what it is the pro-life side states--it's killing a human life.

How dare you tell me to "crawl back into a hole."  And to twist my name into "Jokey"...where did that come from?  You've just dropped a level respect for that ridiculous jab.  I said repeatedly in the last thread that you know NOTHING, NOTHING about who I am, my life, what I do to help society, NOTHING.  You completely ignore anything I have to say about the positives of adoption PROVEN IN MY OWN LIFE (the two cousins and also two other families I know personally who've adopted newborns) and the illogical arguments of killing the smallest of three children (why stop at the pre-born child; why not kill her 14-year-old too?)

Getting back to the original poster, no this is not an argument about abortion.  Considering the original poster said "I'm not aborting."  If you're truly as pro-choice as you claim, barn-babe, you would have respected that CHOICE without argument.  The decision was already made to give birth.

[Jordy]

Just so you'll know, Peekawho, the comment I made immediately after yours was about the ORIGINAL POSTER, not your post directly.  As made clear by the attack directly at me by Barn-babe, it could have been misunderstood as a direct jab at you, and that was not my intention.

[peekawho]

It's all ok.  No worries!

[bip]

I think haverymercy please is making this whole thing up It's a joke  I read women health post. She has alot of issues to take care of.  shes not in her right mind at all.

[venusenvy23]

Just wondering if anyone has seen one of David Lynch's first movies, Eraserhead. Fetus' are creepy. All you antiabortionists wouldn't want to care for a 16 week old fetus and for good reason. They're gross. And I second the one commenter who said, "If you're against abortion, don't have one." Why is that such a hard concept to grasp?

[Trialanderror]

Ah, what was I thinking? Of course Havemercy is a guy. What other gender would want to feed the cliche that all women are out to get guys, get them drunk, cheat, get pregnant, refuse abortion, ruin the guy`s life, be promiscuous? I`m giving this thread up for adoption. There must be parents out there to want to take care of this diaper...Where is the pail?

[barn babe]

Why is it so hard to grasp?

Because it's not about the  fetus or the child. It's about controlling women's sexuality, which scares the **** out of the fundi wackos.  That's ALL it's about. Women should be punished for having sex, for enjoying sex.  

They will tell you otherwise. They say it's all about the "unborn child."   Unforutnately, the same people who are pro-criminalization also don't  support social programs for the  poor, so this alone sinks their "logic."  They are hypocrites in the worst possible way.  

If you are against choice, you are a misogynist. And if you are against a woman's right to choose and you ARE a woman, you probably harbor a good bit of self-hatred and are frightened of your own sexuality.

These folks clearly have a mental disorder of some kind. They have a psychological dependence on believing in some other being (it might as well be a unicorn, for f*ck sake) having control over  their lives and telling them how to live.  At some level, it's a psychosis. A psychosis is when your version of reality markedly differs from what is actually going on in the real world.  I would say that defines plenty of folks on this forum alone, plus millions of other Xtianists and religious zealots who are not happy practicing their religion in private - they need to control everybody else's lives too.

Organized religions have been such a scourge on this planet for so long. And this current  crop of religious wackos wants to take us all back to the times before the Enlightenment.

[bip]

I told you  you are very smart I was reading your last post and I agree what you were saying. Keep up the good work.

[pertykitty]

it would be nice if we could keep the hatred and namecalling in the schoolyard and out of the forums. this used to be a wonderful site, full of helpful people (yes with the occational joker) but it has become full of anger and finger pointing and behaviour that we wouldnt expect from such educated adults. we all have a difference of opinon, maybe we can try to respect that rather than be mean and disrespectful. i see most have tried to abide by this, others just want to yell and scream and cram their beliefs down everyones throat.

[bip]

I think haverymercy please Is  just playing a joke.  Everyone got all upset about it. I think we should just drop it right here it's over with.

[pertykitty]

yes bip i am fully aware of the joke that has been played on us. i am referring to the inhumane treatment of the other posters by a particular poster. i would love for this to be dropped, but it will come about again here or another post. im hoping medhelp will step in and remind us that there is no use for behavior of that sorts here.

[bip]

Does this usually happen all the time ? I started posted when this came on.

[Trialanderror]

Aside from the initial post being just a clever joke and aside from MedHelp  likely not supposed to being a platform for debates, I find it a great enrichment to hear all sides on issues like adoption and abortion and pro-life. An enrichment should not be shot down just because it poses a threat to common politics and opinions. To me it is very re-assuring that logic and sense for reality still exists as in peekawho`s or barn babe`s comments, whether they are offensive to some or not. Personally, I am hesitant towards abortion until it will be better known from what fetal stage on the fetus can actually have the desire to cling on to life - as everyone is referring to - versus being just a blob. But pro-life at any cost and dubious outcome can not remain a political issue. If this thread helped to stir up frozen opinions it can only be a good thing - and I`ll take back the "diaper pail" previously mentioned.

[pertykitty]

i think to hear both sides is great too. however barn babe will not accept that anyone may have a different opinion than herself. her little comments are degrading and she tries to make herself seem the one who knows all and sets the rules. if you dont agree she tells you off and uses religion and politics to try to make posters feel inadequate to her. its childish and ignorant to assume that only her view is the only one, and basically she is like a child with her fingers in her ears yelling la la la la im not listening. kinda funny actually!

[barn babe]

Cover your eyes, pertykitty. I know the truth is painful. Easier just to call on the bearded mysogynist for help (and his sidekick, the tooth fairy).

There is a reason Xtianists don't want open debate about controversial issues. And you and I both  know  what that reason is, "pertykitty": your positions don't stand up to the light of day. Anyone over the age of about 6 who still has "imaginary friends" has a mental disorder. Unicorns, tooth fairies, the Wicked Witch of the West, god, Satan, the flying spaghetti monster - you can slap any label you want on the icon of your magical thinking, but the bottom line is that in choosing to deny rational thought, reason-based analysis, and positions grounded in reality, you have no cred whatsoever.

[pertykitty]

you just proved my point lol. i never said i was christian, and i never really opened up to you with my opinion, you arent worth my time that way. if you are the one to decide if my opinion counts or not, you are someone with problems not me. you say the same thing over and over about the unicorns, and such. it seems to me you cant discuss or debate, you argue and fight and name call. everyone can see what you really are. you are the mean school girl that will fight and name call, and then eventually when everyone has had enough and backs you into a corner, you will run. you think i am afraid of your comments or i am anything in regards to you, you are mistaken. has medhelp contacted you yet on your behavior? they are usually pretty good about keeping abusive people to a min here. get rid of your anger, not a healthy way to live.

[pertykitty]

oh and if you have to mention religion or politics again to try to prove a nonexisting point, we have all heard it over and over and ..................  maybe its time for a new defense.

[bip]

Can we just try to get along  we supposeed to have support in each other.  Im not saying we aren't just seems like we are still fighting  about this.  I just want everyone to get along. I wish we can just start all over again.

[pertykitty]

bip it would be nice, but as long as barn babe is around, which hopefully isnt for long, she will continue to shoot everyone down and degrade them and make herself seem to be the know all and only correct person on here. its best to not get started with her as she will call you names and TRY (fail but try) to make you feel like you are wrong. and if you are bothered by her or offended at any time, you  can contact medhelp and let them know  :)

[slow_healer]

Look guys,

Even if this person is a troll, should we start proclaiming how judgmental we are? This will only discourage people who are REALLY in crisis from posting. It will only serve to make people in real crisis afraid to post for fear of being called names. If someone is posting a joke, then let's just give them the benefit of the doubt that it's genuine, offer sincere advice, and stop there.

Not long ago there was a poster asking for help about an ex-boyfriend who might be the father of her baby. People were telling her to go on Jerry Springer. If the poster wanted that kind of advice, I'm sure she could have just asked her not-so-good friends. I've known people in her situation, and was very disappointed in the kind of "support" this forum had to offer her.

If we want to debate and express viewpoints, let's create a thread for it (like the abortion thread, which has now been mysteriously removed). But let's NOT turn other people's posts into religious/moral/other debates. This forum is here for them - not for us to vent. It won't matter how *right* you are - no one will listen if you can't show respect.

Just my two cents. And for the record, I enjoy the diversity of advice offered - what better way to anonymously help someone than by offering them a variety of ideas to choose from. It encourages critical thinking :)

[barn babe]

Generally, the resident socialist/atheist takes a lot of flak no matter what forum it's on. ;-)

[peekawho]

Though I agree with you on a few of your views, the way in which you express them by demeaning the beliefs of others is counterproductive.  If you would like people to read your posts thoughtfully and take something meaningful away from them, you may want to tone down some of your vitriolic rants.  

I respect and admire you for the passion of your beliefs.  And though I don't agree with the religious beliefs of many of the forum members, I wouldn't dream of calling them mentally ill.  

No one is asking you to start throwing around "amens" or heaving clouds of babydust at anyone, just remember that as passionately as embrace your beliefs, so do other people.  People are so turned off by the tone of many of your posts, that often a good point you might make is missed completely.

Just tone it down.  More people will read your posts carefully if you do, instead of going immediately into the red zone when their beliefs are ridiculed.

Thanks.  

[pertykitty]

its not my beliefs that were ridiculed, it was the fact that she goes on tyrants demeaning people and creating havoc herself. i made an athiest comment, no name calling was invoved and i was suddenly an idiot because i didnt agree. go figure. barn babe you desire respect and tolerance, but if you  cant give the same, how do you expect it? i dont think you have ever honestly answered a question without throwing your unicorn or other remarks. the fact that we are all so different is great, we can all go about our lives however we wish, i am saying that it would be nice if such diversity can be shared without insults. as for the original poster, who knows they never came back.

[pertykitty]

and barn babe you can only take flak if you cant discuss or debate in an adult manner. surely your law background has taught you that.

[slow_healer]

barnbabe, you aren't the resident socialist/atheist nor do you represent such bodies of thought for all people on this forum. You might be mis-interpreting the upset caused in others as being to WHAT you say rather than HOW you say it.

I agree with peekawho - showing respect (and some level of humility) is the best way to communicate ideas. I really like a lot of the ideas coming out on this forum (including atheist), but bullying others by belittling them is EXTREMELY counterproductive. You're doing your beliefs more disservice by presenting them poorly. I'm pretty sure most of us don't come here to agree/disagree on our personal religious views - just offer advice out of a desire for well-being and community.

[Trialanderror]

Pertykitty, referring to your comment C87 - I know what you mean. When meaningful opinions are presented as "the truth", it always comes across as arrogance, and repetition does not help the cause. There have been schools of thought out there for a long time like objectivism that I very much appreciate with their quest for integrity and a search for truth based on reason but proponents often try to apply the philosophy like jurisdiction. That in itself is just as annoying as any religious group knocking at an atheist`s door, isn`t it?

[bip]

HERE WE GO AGAIN

[koukla29]

lol I am new to this forum, and I must say this has to be the most interesting post on here!  Everything and the bible has been thrown into this one!  lol  To the original poster, are you actually the guy and resentful of the chick you impregnated because you feel she is manipulative?  hmmmmm

[kjbandme]

to the original poster:

first of all ignore all the noise of these posts, when people start bickering with each other and stop helping YOU, you gotta tune out.

but I gotta say.

I'm wracking my brain trying to decide if I am in an okay enough position, financially, relationship-wise, etc. to continue with my pregnancy out of RESPECT for myself and this new life and here you are using pregnancy and this innocent life to manipulate others and to 'not be lonely'.  PLEASE STOP.  You need help now.  Ignore this guy and take care of yourself.  You said yourself you don't even like him or know him that well.

PLEASE, no offense, but you need to stop having children until you learn to love and respect yourself.  Get help.  This is not a judgment. I am just truly concerned. Use contraception.

[mami1323]

This is from 2007, it's a very old post and I'm sure that person is no longer around.

[Glo_worm]

i am a christian. i firmly believe that jesus died for our sins. and i also believe he is our only way into eternal life. i do believe that jesus is our ultimate judge. but i do have a right to my own opinion and beliefs.  i don't believe in unicorns or fairy dust << lol too funny. what is not funny is abortion. it is murder. end of story. how would you like somebody to stab you and you slowly die?? abortion is not an option. adoption is. just some advice to the original poster i have seen that name in the women's health forum as a male and that does throw up a red flag. but the sad truth is this day and age that situation is not that throwed off. i encourage the original poster to look into and learn the word of God and live by it and nobody would even be in this situation.

God Bless