Should I say something???

[a1970]

Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. I occasionally have to work away and the other week I video called him and 'performed' for him, but I found out he was watching porn at the same time. His excuse was that both turned him on and he didn't think I'd mind yet I was really hurt. I know he watches it when I'm not there which is fine I can't stop him, but I've recently moved in and I'm here every day. I've also caught him messaging girls he doesn't know, but post online disgustingly explicit photos of themselves, what hurt me the most was that the sex he was describing and things he said he wished she was doing to him etc was literally the sex we had the day before. When I found out about this I confronted him instantly and we had a huge row and I moved back to my mothers for a week. He was hugely apologetic etc etc and swore it wouldn't happen again. We have a really healthy sex life and we have sex more or less every day and we always try new things. Last night I went to bed early as I was feeling unwell. I woke up about an hour later and heard some weird grunts but thought it was from the TV; when it was continuing I thought it could be him pleasuring himself, but I didn't want to know so I went back to sleep. Today, it really bugged me so I borrowed his laptop and saw he had watched porn when I went to bed and it was what I'd heard, yet he hadn't wanted to know me at all when I made advances 30 minutes prior. I haven't confronted him yet as I wouldn't know what to say and so this morning I simply asked if we were ok, and he said of course, however it's been bugging me all day and now I kind of feel I need to. Am I wrong to let it bug me so much? I'm really hurt, but I feel I'm being pathetic. I know he will lie to me too and I don't want to have to be hurt about that too. Help. Please.

[Jinx_777]

you deserve so much better.  the porn thing is something that a lot of people have to deal with (not really HAVE, could always draw the line) because it is so easily available for free online; however the messaging would be it for me.

he has clearly crossed the line.  some porn addicts do eventually need more and more to satisfy themselves and him contacting people is that step forward.  get out now.  i would tell him why i am leaving, but i would not be talked into staying.  even the dumbest person in the world would know if you are in a relationship you do NOT contact anyone else for any other reason, especially sex.  he cannot play ignorance on that one.  

[Londres70]

I would say something and then tell him "goodbye."

Doesn't sound like he cares much about you.

[Chima7]

I have to agree. The whole messaging with other girls would be, for me, a dealbreaker enough that I wouldn't stand for it. There's no excuse for that at all when in a loving relationship, which means that this is not a loving relationship. Looks like you have a choice to make, whether you want to stay with someone who is going to talk to other girls about sexual things behind your back. Like I said, for me, I'd have dumped him and kicked him to the curb as soon as I found out about it.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, if hes been messaging girls he has no great love for you. People in love dont sexually message other people.