Should I tell my boyfriend I cheated in highschool?

[Amglily]

I need helpful advice because I can't seem to think straight.

We started dating the summer going into my sophomore year of highschool and I kissed three other guys and gave one a handjob. I was simply a stupid teenager and didn't realize I would fall in love with my boyfriend. Now, I just recently graduated college and my depression and anxiety are bugging me like crazy. (I have been on antidepressants for 6 years) and I feel like a terrible person for cheating on him in the past. I also feel like I'm living a lie.

My mom says not to tell and so does my therapist, I'm trying my best to forgive myself, but I really need more opinions.

[Nighthawk61]

I agree with  all , you need to think back to the little girl really that kissed and fondled very few boys before settling down and give her a break. She was young and we all have done the same things, yes, maybe including your boyfriend. Let it go. Life is hard enough without making a mountain out of a mole hill. Be grateful that you have grown out of that phase, and know that you need to be loyal to your inner child forgive her her trespasses, and know in your heart you would forgive your boyfriend the same way should it have been him way back then, But, would you really want to know the details? I don't think you would and i don't think he would either. What you have is real, that little bit of hanky panky was just you as a youngster checking out the competition. Obviously it wasn't anything that you wanted. You wanted what you have now. So be happy with that.

Thanks for the post. I did the same thing when i was younger, but far worse, It is nobodies business, nor does my partner want to know the details.

[Chima7]

I think you should give yourself a break and realize that we have all done dumb things when we were younger. No one is immune from having made some bad choices when in high school. I think that obsessing about it as if it's the worst thing ever is not helping you at all. It's time to leave that in the past where it belongs and concentrate instead on the here and right now. Since you've clearly learned that you don't want to do that kind of thing anymore then it was a teachable moment and that's all there is to it.

The other thing is, when you were a kid and did these things, you said yourself that you didn't know that later you'd fall in love with your boyfriend. Because you're not psychic so how could you have possibly known? It's not like you deliberately set out to do something bad. So that's another reason why you should give yourself a break and stop worrying about stuff that happened a long time ago and is irrelevant now.

[Londres70]

What would be the positive in telling him this? Maybe he has done worse and you don't know about it because he isn't going to tell you?  

You've grown, matured and learned, so pat yourself on the back for that.  You aren't doing the same things anymore.  

Cut yourself some slack dear.  Move on and don't tell him.

[Amglily]

Yes, I lost my grandfather when I was a sophomore in highschool. And my dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was a junior in highschool. Some other events could have lead to my anxiety and depression as well, my mom was physically abused when I was in 6th or 7th grade (I don't remember exactly) it was quite a long time ago. And is actually still with this guy which makes me even more anxious.

[RockRose]

BTW - is your therapist working with you to discover the cause of your depression and anxiety?  It's very unlikely it's actually caused by these minor incidents that happened 6 years ago.  Often,  when we are suffering emotional or physical pain we look around at our lives or bodies and guess what the cause of the pain could be,  and guess wrong.   I think if you dig deeper,  you'll find these things that happened when you first started dating your boyfriend 6+ years ago are not related to the guilt and pain and anxiety you are experiencing right now.

[RockRose]

No,  I wouldn't tell.    You're guessing that might make you feel better,  but it won't,  and you'll have the added stress of a boyfriend who doesn't trust you any more.

Telling won't end the pain of what you did (which was very little,  actually) - it will only transfer it to someone else.