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Should a networking site be an issue?
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Should a networking site be an issue?

My fiance has an issue with me having a myspace or facebook, should this be an issuee? its a serious deal breaker for him. I just see it as a way to keep in touch with old girlfriends I havent spoke with since highschool. He makes such a big deal about it, should I just forget about it? Medhelp is my way for me to find out information about my medical issues and get support that I couldnt get at home..from people who go through the same thing. If he knew about this one he might be just as mad! What do you think?
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12 Comments Post a Comment
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189069_tn?1323405738
I don't think that should be an issue AT ALL. Does he have reason to doubt you? If you have never been unfaithful there is no reason for him to have a problem with it.  Has he seen messages from men that he's jealous of or something of the sort? Maybe that's his fear; that you'll meet someone else. That would be understandable, but no reason to let it start big arguments. Talk about it with him again and explain the reasons why you have a myspace/facebook page.  I don't know if you can ever resolve that issue with your fiance. Maybe you can compromise? Perhaps not log on when you're together?  I'm sorry you're going through this; I know it can be frustrating. Good luck :)
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13167_tn?1327197724
Anxiousgurl  you know how rattlesnakes have really loud rattles to warn you you are in danger - this guy has a rattling very loudly.  

No,  it's not normal at all that he wouldn't want you to have a myspace account or facebook account to keep up with your high school girlfriends.

This is a red flag warning if I've ever seen one.
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637356_tn?1301928422
Have you tried showing the site to him? Maybe he doesn't understand it. I have a myspace and my husband has seen it as well. He doesn't have a problem with it because he knows he can check anything he wants out on it and I have nothing to hide on there.
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Avatar_f_tn
My fiance' and I both have myspace accounts.  Besides the fact that it's a great way for folks to keep up with how we are and how are babies are, it's a great way to get pictures to our loved ones who live FAR away.  It's soooo much cheaper!!  We also have ours set to where our family can copy the pics and paste them to their computers - I LOVE it this way we do not have to go out and print them here and mail them off.  

I have to agree with Rock Rose on this.  My cousin raged at his wife about myspace just before he cheated on her.  Your guy may be worried about someone HE knows contacting you.  Have you ever thought about that?  

What reason would he have to keep you off myspace or facebook?  
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145992_tn?1341348674
In my opinion I'm not a huge fan of these types of things.  I've seen them cause unnecessary drama in relationships.  However, with these relationships there was reason why that happened, there were other issues.  But I do have a myspace for my son.  Only have pictures of him and we only accept his family members.  It is just what BH said, great way for them to see how he's growing without having to email everyone.  I don't have a page myself, nor does my fiance.  We just like to keep it that way but if we did, both of us would have access to it.  We have too many trust issues so we have to have an open relationship for it to work for us.  
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568659_tn?1256143582
I don't think it should be an issue at all, DB and I both have a facebook account. Facebook is in no way a dating site or anything bad like that, it isn't for people looking for relationships it is just to keep in contact with friends. Suggest that he gets one too, if you both are on facebook you can see what the other one is doing on your news feed page. If he were to set up an account he would understand how innocent it is and that only you can set it up so that only your friends see your pictures and personal information.
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284738_tn?1283110419
I too don't think it should be an issue.. me and dh both have myspace accounts.. so do our exes but it has not caused either of us any problems... if your partner wants to cheat they will find ways to cheat.. theres no sense in completly sheltering yourself.. from everything
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152852_tn?1205717026
Uh-oh...so did you have to close down your myspace and facebook pages before he gave you the engagement ring?

If he's obsessive, controlling, and overly jealous, it's a problem.  If not, I think it depends a lot on you and your maturity and how you use these sites--if you use it like one of my cousin's daughters and you post sexy photos of yourself and it draws a lot of drama and you accept "friends" you don't know who write inappropriate things, then I could see where he might have a problem with it.

It's always good to ask if you would have a problem if the shoe were on the other foot.  If you would be 100% fine with him doing the exact same thing, then that should answer your question about it.
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640829_tn?1230999660
My bf and myself don't have myspace or facebook, because we hate things like that and we talk through emails and IM with people to far away to call, and those who aren't we phonecall from time to time. I find myspace kinda pervy actually, I'd never want to join it. Heard a lot of not great things about it, and maybe your guy feels the same or heard the same things. So he has a preset view of all that as hooking up sites, maybe?
You could always give him your p/ws for the two sites for awhile and when he sees it's all up and up for you on there, he'll be cool with them? I dunno.
Have you come to any conclusion on it yet?
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484465_tn?1347117312
many times, what i'v come to know and have heard of, is that when people portray this type of mistrust it's b/c they are up to no good currently or would be themselves using myspace, facebook, and medhelp
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404138_tn?1308945256
Both him and I had a myspace, he wanted us to both delete our myspaces not because I was getting comments from guys or the sort, he didnt like a pic I put up which was not "S e x y" at all, I was covered up and everything, he didnt like it. Hes also assumed I was talking to guys when I wasnt. I would talk to one guy from my job, which it would be a comment saying whats up? thats it. Hes just super jealous. He added a girl that almost came in between our relationship at first and so I added a guy that almost ruined us. SO therefore it was a big issue. He said he's deleting his and he wants me to, and if I didnt at that time He said he'd break up with me....like I had to chose between him and myspace. So of course I deleted it.

Now that we're engaged, I dont see why it should be an issue.I dont like myspace, I think facebook is much better,  I would vow to not be in contact guy-friends  if they like me or try to come between us, alls i have to do is delete them. I have girl-friends on there though that I would like to K.i.t. with and he just doesnt get it .He knows how the site works and I think its a trust issue for him and besides that he's scared that someone else would sweep me off my feet and he's jealous as I said.. Idk. am I making a mistake? Its always an ultimatum with him. Thats the only one thing that I cant stand.
Its his way only. I cant imagine how it would ever be a partnership, and thats what scares me right now. we're supposed tto work together..i just feel like the child in a relationship. not  a good start! we fight and disagree we make up and thats just our relationship for the past six years we always work out our problems, but sometimes I just give up and give in to whatever he says. idk.  
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152852_tn?1205717026
If you are choosing to be in a tumultuous relationship like this, with a controlling man, with both of you behaving immaturely, please make sure you keep children out of it.  Maybe even permanently (vasectomy/tubes tied).  It's one thing to choose this kind of relationship/life for yourself--it's another thing to subject innocent, helpless children to it when they have no choice in the matter.
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