The real deal.

[PassionFlower09]

The real deal:

I haven't seen a therapist because the insurance company will report it to my employer- Sounds crazy, I know but they will. My employer will not be pleased. IT REALLY MATTERS. I have to be completely sound and perfect to do my job. It could mean temporary  removal.

So, I have really been dealing with this alone.  It is so hard people.  I am really alone. My husband is a jerk.  Maybe he is not  talking to this "girl" but it still hurts. He is a little ill; he wants me to be nice and provide a calm atmosphere,but I don't think I can.  I was with him in the hospital,when he was only concerned about me passing this ***** a message if something happens- no messages for me.  And well you know the rest.  

I just feel like my best friend died and got stuck with a stupid son of B.  He doesn't give  damn about me. If he did he would never have treated me this way.

my first real love of more than 10 years just broke my heart people.  I am so  hurt and angry.  I don't know how to cope. I hate him and her.

It is hard not to think about  him telling me that this ***** made him muffins, and I should cook for him. OR This ***** this or this ***** that. It just hurts so much.

I was lied to for at least 8 months. And now I just don't know how to heal.

[PassionFlower09]

Thanks guys, the  minister/priest is a good idea I'd never really explored. I will.

I just have so much anger. When these things were happening, my husband hid them well enough. But eventually the lies came out and I put it all together. Yet, I still don't believe I know everything, and he could have slept with the girl or her b*****itch of a mother.  It is like  having a big bucket of cold water dumped on you,and never realizing the the water was being collected behind your back.

[lovemykids465]

Find a local minister in your phone book. But it really seems you may need to separate yourself for a season. Get yourself healthy.

[Vance2335]

Your private health matters are yours and yours alone. Your INS company can not say anything to your employer...it is illegal.

[Ashelen]

can you go see a priest/preacher/rabbi? they DEFINITELY don't report it and you would be surprised how helpful they can be even if you aren't religious...

I agree though..something's gotta give, hon. you can't keep on like this. I've followed your story from a distance and it hurts to see how much you let yourself get hurt by this guy...

[mami1323]

I agree with imanaddict. You're not moving forward and you've been in the same unhappy sbd angry place for far too long. What kind of life are you living that way? You can either find a way to get you and your husband help or you need to leave your marriage. It cannot stay this way.

[imanaddict]

Can you pay cash for the therapy sessions and not report it to the insurance company? I just don't see any other way to help you heal other than talking with a professional and/or leaving him for good.