Been in a relationship for 6 months, now he's taken a job in another state.
He's taken a big promotion over 1000 miles away and needs time to adjust to the new (heavier) workload, I've moved a bit closer (still 1000 miles away) but am working on my own career. We both agree that the moves will be good for each of us separately in the long run, and we both agree that we will be living apart no longer than a year, but I'm worried that being in a 'long distance relationship' is really just sabotaging any chance we had of being happy together. I miss him like crazy, he misses me like crazy. We talk on the phone every day, but I feel we're missing some integral parts of what a healthy relationship consists of... all because of the distance between us.
Any advice would be appreciated.
We're both adults over the age of twenty five, both of us have been married in the past and are pretty well versed in 'normal' relationships... neither of us has done the long distance thing before. We were together (but not living together) in the same city, seeing each other several times a week and staying over at each other's houses several times a week before our moves.
This is the first serious relationship either of us has been in since we divorced our spouses (Him 10 years ago, myself 8 years ago).
Hi. Well, this sounds like one of those situations in which "time will tell". I don't think there is too much you can do about the situation and you've put an end point on how long it will probably last. A year is not a terribly long time (although it feels that way especially in the beginning). If this separation will benefit your careers, it may be worth the sacrifice of a year's time living in the same place.
Here are benefits to a long distance relationship to consider---
-- you can REALLY focus on your career with little distraction.
-- you can REALLY focus on YOU with little distraction. Great time to get into your work out routine, do a lot with your hobbies, spend time with friends, etc.
-- there is an 'exciting' element to long distance relationships. Won't it be great to see him? Each time will be so exciting and fresh. No monotony for you two!
-- you learn a lot about someone when you give them distance. He may grow to love you more because he misses you so much! Wouldn't you love to have him KNOW that he can't live without you?
--your ability to communicate well will be tested which is actually a good thing. You want those skills to be highly tuned before marriage.
So, try to look at what is good about this. Don't get caught up in paranoia about what he is doing or feeling like you are missing out on something because you aren't together. This is a brief chapter in your relationship-------- and it could make the next one sweeter.
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