Too Attached

I'm bisexual, and i'm going out with one of my friends (she's female too) from school. She was the first person i talked to about being bisexual and i was the first person she talked to about it, i think.

In 2008, we went out in the summer holidays. It was hard, because we didn't want to tell anyone about it yet. We broke up after about a month, because she was feeling guilty that she had a crush on someone else and because i was getting too attached.

I then asked her out in January of 2009 and we've been going out since, and things have been ok. There was even a chance of her kissing me this weekend. However, we had a big argument today, when she said that i was too attached and that i need to try and disattach myself a bit by finding a hobby or getting new friends. I agree that i am too attached, but i dont know how to disattach myself without ending up hating her! Finding friends is hard, i used to have more in my class at school, but for some reason they've stopped talking to me (i think it was because of me being bisexual and hanging out in the wrong 'group').

Anyway, the argument was really big and we both got very upset and angry. We took a few hours apart to calm down, which helped. Im still meeting up with her on Friday, but there's no chance of kissing or anything. She said that we can still be together, but just not as..serious as we were because we were probably too young for all the 'i love you i want to spend the rest of my life with you stuff' (and i do agree there).

But im really stuck on how i disattach myself! I dont want to hate her, and i dont want to lose her either. Right now, it seems as though there is no hope of us ever being the same again, and i feel really restricted, not just because of the argument. I dont know what i can or cant do anymore. Im a naturally quiet person, and im scared of rejection, so i dont want to risk doing something like hugging her or snuggling anymore because im scared of her pushing me away.

Please help!

xx

[megochick101]

Ok let me just clarify. You've been dating her since January and there hasn't been any kissing of any kind?? So you've supposedly been together for 6 months without any type of kiss? That just seems weird to me.

To me it sounds like your friend wants to be just that, friends. Since she has stated that she think you are over attached to her then I would just try and take a step back from her. I get the feeling that she really doesn't feel for you like you do for her and that she isn't looking for a serious or intense relationship right now.

Are you in high school or were you referring to college when you mentioned school? Either one has plenty of options for finding friends. Join a new club, go to a community center or something similar in your area. If you think you should try and meet new people there are many ways to do so. There could even be friends in your workplace(if you have one) Meeting and doing new things will help you not focus on her so much.

[megochick101]

Sorry not meeting and doing new things lol *meeting new people and doing new things will help you not focus on her so much* lol

[megochick101]

Sorry not meeting and doing new things lol *meeting new people and doing new things will help you not focus on her so much* lol

[xxTimeandSpacexx]

Yeah. But that's only because we hardly get any 'us' time, as we don't want people to know we are going out because we are afraid how people will react (what with it being girl/girl etc).

A few of our friends know, but we dont want to do anything in public. And our parents don't know, so we can't do much if they're snooping around too much.

School, im in Year 9 going on to Year 10.

I guess, but we are really close and when we broke up last time she really wanted for us to have another go. And i did too.

Plus, i asked her if she thought this wasn't working and she said it would be ok and she didn't want to break up with me...

I know that she doesn't like me as much as like her, that's the problem here (im too attached..).

It's just that now, everytime i think of her, i just don't know what to do. I just wish things were how they were before this argument (which only started because of her going to a sleepover and me getting a bit upset about it - stupid really). I think i'm too possessive, thats the main problem.

[jo929]

You are much to young to be making any kind of commitment, and she knows you are both to young, so take her advice be freinds and finish your education when you are older you may just change your mind about a lot of things young people want things to happen to fast, so just cool it concentrate on educationnot other things at this point in your life  luck  jo