Trouble "finishing" with a condom

[bryan86]

Hello. Im 20 years old and I have never came with a condom on nor from oral sex either. The only time i ever *** is when a masturbate by myself or when I have unprotected sex with my g/f. I just about masturbate ever other day when im not with my g/f. Im trying to stop masturbating(its been a 1week 1/2 since i last did it). My g/f and I used to be irresponsible when it came to protected sex  but it finally got into our head that we cant continue to do that until were both actually ready for a baby (so no need for a lecture please :)). So from the past month and on we have/will been/be using condoms. Any advice on how i can finish with a condom on or just from oral sex? Could me masturbating so much in the past have a affect on why i havent been able to finish with a condom on/oral sex?

[random123456]

go to a youth clinic, the pills are free

[44nick]

Dude i completely feel you.  i have the same problem the only difference is my girlfriend is on the pill and still wants me to wear a condom.  She is afraid of getting pregnant.  She finds it scary to have something growing in her body- in her words.  However, I don’t want to get her pregnant either.  But I would like to have sex without a condom.  We had done it before when she was on the pill, I pull out and she still freaks out about it.
The whole thing about wearing a condom i think it is mental.  I know it is for me. First of all I always try to have sex with her without a condom and she makes me put one on and i automatically lose my excitement and she has to get me up again.  I don't know if this happens to you but when i masterbate it is quicker for me to do it myself then for her to give me a handjob.  And if I masterbate in front of her it takes me longer if i were to do it in my own privacy.
A few things that worked for me
try condoms called skyn by lifestyle- it takes forever for me to go in them but sometimes it works and sometime it doesn't
i don't know if you drink at all but next time you have sex try getting a little buzzed (not drunk) before you do. that has helped me out sometimes. I haven't tried this yet but i want to- have your girlfriend where a female condom instead of you wearing one (if you do let me know if it works out)   Now if anyone out there can give me some info as well i would be thankful

[anxiousmomtobe?]

First of all you brought up your financial situation so people on here will feel free to comment.  Expecially since many of us are old enough to be your mum.

Visit planned parenthood, I have heard they can help with cheap birth control.

And if she thinks the pill is expensive, just think how much a baby would cost!

If you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to be responsible.

[peekawho]

I'll only comment on the cost of pills issue.  If she's in college, have her go to the Student Health Service.  Most times, they have low cost pills.  Not every college, but most have some sort of low cost birth control help available.

If she can't, or your college doesn't offer anything like that, a pack of pills really isn't all that expensive.  If she really wants to take them, it isn't hard to cut a few corners (eating out is a big expense, clothes/shoes are another) and get some.  You should help her with the cost.  I can't believe between the two of you, you can't come up with $30-$40 a month.  Come on.  

[bryan86]

She went to her student center and they told her she has to get a pap smear which had cost $300. We didnt have the money for that. I'm not trying to be rude, but please dont speak on our financial situation.

[shadowsting]

What is it that you think about while masterbating? No I don't need the answer to that but could it be that you need to focus more. When your not using a condom it hightens the senses thus forcing you to concentrate. You don't feel as much through a condom, but you try the sensitive or thin ones. Try focusing more on how it feels rather than the end result. What about if she masterbates you? There are many things you could try, it just depends on what excites you.

[bryan86]

All I said was our funds are low and that should of been enough. I dont want to start throwing numbers out there.
"
And if she thinks the pill is expensive, just think how much a baby would cost!

If you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to be responsible."

Exactly and that is why we have chosen to use a condom from here on out. ***So please back to helping me with my problem*** thanks

[barn babe]

Start masturbating using a condom. Get used to the feeling of having a condom on while you pleasure yourself and have an orgasm.

I second the use of condoms and think you are smart to be using them. If the two of you are monogamous and have been tested for all STDs, including herpes, AND your partner can be compliant in taking the pill as prescribed, then and only then should you consider the pill without barrier protection.  Otherwise, stick with the condoms. Going on the pill can be a bad habit, because many people will forego condoms when the woman says "oh, don't worry, I'm on the pill."  You should still be using condoms until you know your partner well enough either to be monogamous with her or to have been tested for STDs.  

I've had partners in the past who couldn't orgasm through oral sex. It depends on the guy. I've been told I give great head, so I don't think it was my technique. Sorry, that's TMI, but I wanted to throw that in. Anyway, a lot of men don't come during BJs, and I don't consider that a big deal. You can finish yourself off, your partner can use her hand, or you can put the condom back on and have intercourse again. Or not finish. Whatever.

The orgasm during condom thing is easy to deal with - you need to start masturbating with a condom on so you can get used to the feeling of having it on.

I also think you might want to look at any other issues going on with the orgasm thing - like are you completely comfortable around her letting go, etc. But start jerking off with a condom  and see if that helps. You don't have to masturbate less just because you have a girlfriend. Yeesh, I hate that "advice." It's ludicrous.

[bryan86]

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate that.

[bryan86]

I talked to her about getting the pill several times but she's scared to talk to her mother about getting the pill and going through her mothers insurance to get them. In her 20 years of life, her and her mother have never talked about sex(her mother had her when she was 19) which I find shocking. We are both in college and low on funds so she doesnt have the money to get them by herself without insurance. As far as STD's go I was her first and only and I just had a STD test done recently and I am clean (I get them twice a year).

[zooarchgirl]

This isn't exactly an answer to your question, but have you and your girlfriend considered her getting the pill? As long as both of you have no STDs and she uses the pill correctly, it would give you two the protection against pregnancy without having to resort to condom use.